


Absolute

by khd14



Series: Hadley + Professor Armitage [1]
Category: British Actor RPF, Professor Armitage - Fandom, Richard Armitage - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Austin - Freeform, Author, Dating, Developing Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Light Bondage, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Professor - Freeform, Professor Armitage, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Texas, University of Texas at Austin, Writers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-23 19:08:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 51,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khd14/pseuds/khd14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="http://s1064.photobucket.com/user/khdent/media/a7b37c27-aa62-4d87-92d2-cb27f88acc04_zps38752815.jpg.html">
    <img/></a>
</p><p>COMPLETED // AU Professor Richard Armitage is a Psychology instructor at the University of Texas - Austin. His top student, Hadley Faraday, is incredibly gifted, yet hides who she really is; while he is attempting to pick up the pieces of his broken life and move forward from a devastating past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**one**

The air was thick in the tiny classroom, and on a day as hot as today, it made the two hour lecture feel twice as long. The small overhead fans continued to spin above the students, bringing some sort of cooling relief to their overheated bodies.

Whoever thought summer courses could be beneficial to one's academic career have obviously never lived in the scorching summer heat of Austin, Texas. The professor’s British accent echoed off the old brick walls and continued to discuss the Somatosensory Cortex, his octave never changing.

With the Texas heat too strong to concentrate on one thing too long, Hadley’s bright green eyes traveled to the windows on her left. The sun was obnoxiously bright on this Monday morning, as well as the bright blue hue of the sky. She imagined herself on the lake, on the beach… ah, who was she kidding.

“Miss Faraday,”

_Fuck._

Hadley cut her eyes from the window to the owner of the deep British accent quickly, who was leaning onto the wooden podium at the front of the classroom, his massive hands gripping the wood tightly.

“Yes, Professor Armitage?”

“Am I boring you?”

Hadley narrowed her eyes behind her black rimmed glasses, holding her tongue from saying the things that what was really on her mind. _‘Yes. You’re boring the shit out of me.’_

"No, sorry, I," She began, her eyes meeting his icy blue stare.

He brought his hand to his jaw, rubbing it softly, as he does when he’s irritated. “Sorry doesn't cut it, Miss Faraday. I know you have other things you could be doing right now, but please don't waste my time.”

“Okay," She crossed her arms across her chest tightly, bringing her full attention back to the Biopsychology professor.

Professor Armitage brought his hand back to the podium, his eyes continuing to penetrate her, his jaw locking tight. “Thank you.”

After another hour of lecturing, 10 minutes over the allotted time of the course, Hadley was finally heading out of the empty classroom.

Chills trickled down her spine as her name slowly rolled off of Professor Armitage's lips once again.

"Hadley, please, stay."

She froze in place, cursing herself for not leaving sooner.

"Do you have a problem completing your assignments?"

A complex array of curse words were mumbled underneath her breath before she turned to face him. "Why would I have a problem completing assignments? They're always turned in on time."

Professor Armitage stood at his desk, collecting the papers that had been turned in at the beginning of class. He began to roll up the sleeves on his shirt.

_‘How was he not dying of a heat stroke yet?’_ Hadley noted the delicious muscle undertones of his forearms, but was brought back to the reality of his pretentiousness as he spoke.

"Yes, they're always on time, but at three in the morning?" He took the papers in his hand and placed them neatly in his leather messenger bag.

Hadley furrowed her brows, becoming more impatient by the second. "Why do you care what time they're turned in at?"

Professor Armitage sighed heavily. "I just wanted to make sure you that you understand all the material."

"Perfectly."

"Wonderful. See you tomorrow, Miss Faraday."

*****

"Why did I even decide to take Psychology?!" Hadley groaned as she walked through the front door of her downtown apartment.

"Because Laurel is a psychologist." Cara stated from her seat at the dining room table.

"Yeah, yeah." Hadley sat down next to her assistant and laid her head down on the thick butcher block table.

"What's wrong, now, Hadley?" Cara continued to sort through Hadley's mail, opening the envelopes that needed to be opened and separating the rest into organized stacks.

"My professor,” She whined, leaning her head back up from the table. “He's such a dick weed.” She combed her fingers through her long blond waves.

Cara chuckled. "How's the writers block coming?"

"I DON'T HAVE WRITERS BLOCK!" Hadley enunciated each word carefully, her hands slamming onto the table in front of her.

"Sorry, sorry. No writers block." Cara eyed Hadley and shook her head. "You remember you have a due date to your editor on Friday?"

Hadley shrugged her shoulders, unphased by the urgency. "They'll get it when it's ready."

Cara chuckled. "I'm pretty sure they would wait for an entire year to get even a few sentences from your Pulitzer Prize Winning brain."

"Ah, don't forget New York Times Best Seller." Hadley winked at her and stood up from the table. "I have a few ideas I need to get out. I'll be on the balcony if you need me." She grabbed an apple from the basket on the table.

"I'm going to the market later this afternoon if you would like to join. But I understand if you're through with people after a day like today."

Hadley shrugged. "Maybe. Come get me when you're ready."

*****

Hadley trailed behind Cara at the organic market, her senses taking in every single detail her body would allow. The sweet smells radiating from the oranges and strawberries; the brightly colored apples and carrots; the smooth texture from the zucchini and peppers; the deep green leafy vegetables.

On days like today, Cara usually left her alone, letting Hadley settle into her own mind and do what she was best at - creating.

“Want to help me pick out some wine?” Cara stood beside her as she ran her hands over the bananas.

“Sure.” Hadley picked up a set of the long, yellow fruit and sat them in the basket located in Cara’s hands. “What are we having for dinner tonight?”

Cara beamed. “Roasted chicken, cilantro quinoa bites, sweet potatoes, corn, and brussel sprouts.”

“Why must you spoil me, Cara.” Hadley followed Cara down towards the wine section, failing to notice the dark headed professor on the same aisle.

“So, red or white?” Cara inquired, looking up at the large selection of wine in front of them.

Hadley sighed. “Cara, haven’t I taught you anything? A Chardonnay. See if they have Eden Ridge, they have an amazing Mendocino.”

“Oh, did I tell you? I met this guy at the coffee shop this morning. He’s taking me out for dinner tomorrow night.”

Hadley rolled her eyes. “I swear, you could be lost in the desert and pick up a guy. I mean, if they’re into the tall, leggy brunettes. But what do I know?”

Cara laughed. “That’s nothing a pair of heels couldn’t fix for you, Hadley.”

Hadley’s hand trailed over the labels of the wines in front of her. “I’ll stick to my converse’s and flip flops, thank you very much.” She found a bottle of red that she had been looking for, an Alouette Pinot Noir and took it in her hands, studying the dark liquid and white crisp label.

“Good choice,”

Hadley heard the British accent come up behind her once again, and she sighed in response. _Really? I thought I was done with this asshole for the day._ She nodded her head slowly. “Yes it is.”

Cara turned towards the interaction between Hadley and Richard, watching them intently. She had known Hadley for over 10 years and loved her like a sister, which meant she protected her like one as well. “Do you want me to take that, Hadley?”

“No, that’s alright, I got it.” Hadley smiled at her softly.

“You have an impeccable taste for wine, Hadley.”

Hadley nodded slowly, her eyebrows raising on her forehead. _‘What am I supposed to say to that? My God. Have I been such a hermit I don’t even know how to respond to a statement?’_

“I’ll let you two off, then. See you in class tomorrow, Miss Faraday.”

Hadley followed Cara down the wine section and up to the registers.

“He’s the dick weed, I presume?”

Hadley chuckled. “How could you tell?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**two**

Cara turned her head sharply towards the voice beside her. _‘Tell me it’s not… oh fuck.’_

“I asked if you enjoyed coming here.” Professor Armitage stood beside of Cara in front of the butchers counter at the organic market. 

Cara raised her dark eyebrows, her eyes still intent on the array of meat in the glass coolers. “Obviously.” 

“I don’t believe we had the chance to meet the other day. You and Hadley seemed to have been in a hurry.” Professor Armitage chuckled. 

“We’re just busy people,” Cara explained, turning her head towards him, taking in his sharp nose and 5 o’clock shadow. 

“Ah, I see. Too busy for dinner, perhaps?” 

“You want to have dinner with Hadley?” 

“No, with you.” 

“With me?” Cara repeated, trying not to laugh. 

“Yes, with you.” 

Cara gripped her basket a little tighter in her hands. “I don’t even know you.” 

“But we both know Hadley.” 

“Um, you’re Hadley’s professor. That’s hardly knowing her.” 

Professor Armitage laughed. “That’s true. But I would love to take you out for a nice dinner.” 

“I don’t even know your name.” 

“The name is Richard Armitage.” His blue eyes caught hers and in that moment, there was no way she could have told him no. 

*****

“So, you’ll never guess who I ran into at the market.” Cara smiled at Hadley from the kitchen as she sat the bags of groceries down. 

“Mmmm,” Hadley responded, her eyes intent on the MacBook screen in front of her, her fingers flying across the keyboard. 

“Your professor. Richard Armitage.” 

Hadley’s hands stopped typing immediately. “You saw my professor at the market?” She repeated, her head turning towards Cara. 

“Yes, and he asked me out to dinner tonight,” Cara grinned, studying Hadley’s face for any emotion she could decipher. 

“Oh, really, hmm, alright then,” Hadley muttered off, continuing with her thoughts on the laptop in front of her. 

“What, do you have a thing for him?” Cara inquired, putting away the groceries in the fridge.

Hadley furrowed her eyebrows. “What?!” She scoffed, shaking her head. “No, why would I, that’s crazy.” 

Cara smiled at her. “Because if you do, I won’t see him tonight.” 

“Why would I have a thing for him, Cara. He’s an arrogant asshole.” 

“Alright then,” She replied, her voice cheerful. “He’s picking me up at 7:30.” 

Hadley shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. “Well then have as much fun as you can possibly have, Cara.” 

*****

The doorbell rang at 7:27pm, and Hadley shuddered. She really didn’t want him knowing where she lived, ah hell, let’s be honest, she just didn’t want to see him period. After the doorbell rang for the second time, she slid off the leather couch with a sigh. 

_‘Impatient prick.’_

Hadley pulled the door open reluctantly and was met with a wave of pure British elegance. A musk of bergamot and lemon, woody undertones crashed onto her pajama clad body. 

“You look beautiful,” The words radiated off his lips in a motion so smooth she almost lost conciousness. 

Hadley raised her eyebrows, unsure of the response necessary, until she realized his stare was not on her, yet behind her. “Ah, right, Cara, of course.” She mumbled, opening the door wider and stepping beside it to allow Cara to be viewed completely, as she deserved. 

“Are you ready to go?” Richard asked Cara politely, laying a hand on her waist. 

“Absolutely,” She smiled up at him, their line of sight even thanks to her extremely long legs and high heels. 

Hadley raised her eyebrows. “Really? Alright, this is fun.” She mumbled, standing at the edge of the door, holding onto the door knob tightly.

The two continued to ignore her, willingly or unwillingly, she didn’t know, and frankly, didn’t care. She slammed the door behind them as they left and resumed her place on the couch with her laptop, attempting to have new material ready for her editor tomorrow. 

Hadley was used to feeling ignored. Being an introvert, she didn’t mind, either. She was terribly anxious, never feeling comfortable around others, preferred to spend her time with herself or Cara. Sure, she had a few other friends who understood, but she didn’t always feel up to spending time with them. 

The alone time she had was cherished. It was a moment for her to recharge her energy and emotions; reconnect with herself; be in complete and utter peace. What was even the point on going out on dates with men whom you have no interest in? What do you get from it? She truly had no idea. 

*****

“So, Cara, tell me about yourself.” Richard took the menu in his hands and his sparkling gaze overlooked it intently, concentrating on the wine list. 

“Well,” Cara started, her bright red lips curling into a smile, “I’m an assistant to an author.” 

Richard nodded. “An author? How interesting. Anyone famous?” He chuckled. 

“Kate Carlyle.” 

Richard raised his eyebrows and sat down his menu. “Really? Kate Carlyle? I’m such a fan. I recently finished The Silent Affairs and I couldn’t put it down.” 

Cara chuckled. “Is that so?” 

“Yes, she’s amazing. The way she writes, thinks… it’s bloody brilliant!” 

_If he only knew._

“Yes, I think so too. She’s the most intelligent person I know.” Cara smiled at the thought of Hadley, curled up on the couch, writing to her hearts desire. How envious she was of her. 

“And so I take it you’ve read all her books, then?” 

Cara smiled. “Yes, I have. She’s the only author I’ve ever really read, truly.” 

Richard furrowed his eyebrows. “Really? So you don’t enjoy reading?” 

“Not really. I prefer dancing, going to bars, concerts. Austin is quite the social town.” 

Richard nodded his head politely, staring at Cara from across the table. She was definitely something to look at, but her personality was quite mundane, as he was finding out the hard way. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you meet Hadley?” He inquired, his mind clouded at the mention of Hadley’s name. 

“We went to NYU together. I dropped out after second year, but we got an apartment close to campus and I enrolled in cooking school.” 

“Hadley went to NYU?” 

Cara’s eyes cut from her wine glass to Richard’s stare. “Yes.” _‘Why was he interested in Hadley so much?’_

Richard nodded and took a sip of wine. “This wine is divine,” He attempted to change the subject. 

Cara shrugged her shoulders. “Hadley’s the wine connoisseur. I’ve always preferred liquor. Or beer.” 

Richard chuckled. _‘Of course she was.’_

*****

Jack plopped next to Hadley on the couch and handed her a to-go container of fried rice and sesame chicken. 

“Where did you even come up with the name of Kate Carlyle?” 

Hadley shrugged. “It came to me in a dream.” 

“Really? A dream? Sounds like something you came up with.” He chuckled. 

“Well, it was a dream, so technically, I did come up with it.” Hadley rolled her eyes at him playfully. 

Jack took a pair of chopsticks from the coffee table and began eating his vegetable lo mein. “So she’s seriously out with your professor right now?!” 

She nodded. “Yep. Don’t want to know what they’re doing, don’t care. You might, though, apparently he’s beautiful, from what Cara said a few days ago.” 

“Please. I think we both know Cara would jump almost anything she could get her hands on.” 

“Hey, now, she is my best friend. She wouldn’t jump just anything, Jack. She has standards.” Hadley defended Cara, shaking her head in the process. “But yes, she does enjoy the company of men. A lot.” 

Jack put his lo mein down on the coffee table and turned to Hadley. “You do realize how gorgeous you are, right? I mean, you could have just as many dates if you put yourself out there.” 

“But I don’t want to put myself out there. Anytime I’m with Cara, my God, how could anyone look at me?” Hadley continued eating her dinner, grasping the chinese box tightly. 

“Love, you are gorgeous. Beautiful, natural blonde hair; petite stature; and not to mention those taut thighs. I’d jump you if you were a male.” 

Hadley laughed. “Thanks. Too bad I have a vagina, hmm?” 

“Yuck.” Jack grabbed the container of lo mein again and continued eating. 

“And petite stature? I’m 5’5”. No, I’m not tall, but I don’t consider myself petite.” 

“That’s true. Your boobs are way too large to be considered petite.” 

Hadley burst out laughing as the front door swung open, with Richard and Cara coming through the entryway. She glanced at Jack. “You’re terrible,” She attempted to stop laughing. 

“Well hello you two,” Jack greeted, chuckling under his breath. 

“Hi, Jack. Keeping Hadley company this evening, hmm?” Cara inquired, walking over towards the couch and giving him a hug. 

“Someone needs to feed her, Cara.” Jack winked at her. 

“And who is this? Did you bring me a toy?” 

Richard raised his eyebrows. “Jack, play nice. This is my date for the night, Richard.” 

Hadley chuckled. _For the night._

Jack playfully slapped Hadley on the shoulder. “It’s nice to meet you, Richard.” 

“Yes, you too.” Richard nodded at him, his eyes trailing to Hadley. “Miss Faraday.” 

“Professor.” She handed the half eaten container over to Jack. _‘Oh, so he can see me.’_

“Are you done?” 

“Suddenly, I’m not so hungry anymore.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**three**

Hadley pushed her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose, a finger hovering over the button on her MacBook. Sending drafts to her editor was always a stressful task - what if they didn’t get what she was trying to say? What if she made a terrible mistake? What if her ideas were garbage?

With so many what if’s and so little time, she held her breath and clicked the dreaded button, sending part of her sixth book to the editor she’s grown to love. A heavy sigh was released from her lips, relieved that she had thankfully made it to another deadline.

She glanced at her watch and noticed it was half past five am; she knew now that she had no longer had the time to get some rest before her 2 hour lecture with Professor Armitage.

Unwillingly, she peeled herself from her bed and made her way downstairs to the kitchen, where she found Cara rummaging through the fridge wearing only a men's collared shirt.

Her blood ran cold at the thought of Professor Armitage rummaging through her apartment, sleeping with her assistant.

“Oh God,” Hadley muttered, her eyes wide.

“Oh!” Cara turned around, startled.

“Please tell me my professor isn’t here.” Hadley silently prayed, the last thing she wanted was for him to walk through her apartment wearing nothing but underwear. _‘God. No.’_

Cara chuckled. “No, don’t worry, Hadley. He wouldn’t even kiss me, can you believe that?”

“No, I can’t,” She muttered, grabbing an empty glass from the cupboard beside the fridge. “The way he looked at you… was like he was slowly devouring you in his mind.”

“I wish he would’ve devoured me! That accent is heavenly. Immediate panty dropper.” Cara took a container of orange juice from the fridge and grabbed the cup from her hands.

Hadley rolled her eyes. “Um, no. Become a student of his, then you’ll change your mind.”

Cara smiled at her and poured her some orange juice, sliding the glass back over to Hadley. “He asked what I did, you know.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep. Told him I was an assistant. He asked who, I told him Kate Carlyle.”

Hadley smirked. “Oh, that Kate Carlyle. What a bitch.”

“Ah, that’s not the best part, love. Said she’s one of his favorite fiction authors.”

Hadley nearly choked on her orange juice. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Not joking. Loves you. Just doesn’t know its… you.”

“Why do you think I insisted on a pen name? I don’t want people to know.”

“No,” Cara started, her eyes sparkling, “you just don’t want certain people to know who you really are.”

Hadley shrugged. Cara was right, of course. She didn’t want everyone to know who she really was, then things would be different. She doesn’t like the attention, doesn’t want anything to do with it. She’s a master of writing; creating; living in another universe. And that’s how she preferred it.

*****

Professor Armitage sat in his office and shuffled the small stack of papers in his hands. He leaned back in his chair and stared out the window, enjoying the morning sun on an early Friday morning before it turned too warm to think about anything else.

He brought his attention back to the paper in his hands, the neatly typed, perfectly worded essay catching him off guard. Hadley had just begun taking psychology courses last semester, how on earth did she know about some of the points used in the paper? He shook his head as the inevitable came out of his head, _she must have cheated, how else could she have known this information?_

He decided to test out his theory, and on his laptop, he quickly typed up 10 more questions down that conspired with her paper. He printed out the piece of paper and attached it to the back of one of the tests he was getting ready to hand out.

By the time he had gathered the rest of his things he needed for class and headed towards the classroom, he was furious. _How dare she._

He slammed the classroom door shut behind him, making the students in the classroom jump with anticipation. Hadley caught his stare and a chill ran down her spine; she knew he was angry, and even worse, she knew he was angry at her.

The tight lock of his jaws; his pursed lips; the cold, penetrating stare of his lifeless blue eyes. She took the black pen laying on her desk and clutched it in her left hand tightly, a nervous habit.

Professor Armitage took the tests from his bag and laid them on the podium in a stack. “You have two hours to complete your exam. Please, think intelligently before answering any questions, and remember, these account for 60% of your final grade.”

He began passing the exams out, and of course, saved Hadley for last. He dropped the exam on her desk and laid his fingertips on top of tightly, sliding the neatly stacked papers toward her. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure of looking at him, as she didn’t know if that would make him less or more angry, and she wasn’t ready for that outcome.

For Hadley, the test was simple. When she managed to reach the back page, she glanced over the questions and shook her head. _Really?_ She looked up at Professor Armitage, who of course, had his eyes on her relentlessly.

He smirked at her from the seat at the desk, knowing he had her in his trap. “Is there a problem, Miss Faraday?” His deep voice echoed off the walls, a hint of sarcasm attached to each word.

Hadley raised her eyebrows. “No. Why would there be a problem?”

Professor Armitage looked around the empty classroom, his sight coming back to Hadley. “Please, continue then.”

Hadley continued, her hand moving tirelessly across the paper. The extra questions took her almost 30 minutes to complete, as she wanted to prove to him that she truly knew what she was talking about. She knew exactly what he was thinking, and that infuriated her to a point beyond comprehension.

She, a published author, cheating on a measly Biopsychology paper? She rolled her eyes at the thought and gathered her belongings, throwing her messenger bag over her torso.

She handed the paper to him, yet he wouldn’t take it; staring at her as she stood in front of the desk. “So now you won’t accept my exam?”

He scoffed in response, and she dropped the exam onto his desk. “Who do you think you’re fooling, Miss Faraday?” He rubbed his right hand across his chin, his unshaven face grimacing at the mention of her name.

“I’m not fooling anyone, Professor.”

He chuckled. “You think you’re so smooth. You can walk into this department, thinking you know everything. Why are you even here? You have both an undergraduate and a graduate degree from NYU. Are you bored? Don’t want to give up daddy’s money yet?”

Hadley raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, you heard me. You girls that come in here, take all these classes that you have no intention of ever using in the real world, not ready to give up your daddy’s money. Isn’t that what you live on, Hadley? Daddy’s money?”

Hadley stepped towards the desk, clenching her jaws tight. She laid her hands on the desk and scoffed, her eyes penetrating his. “You have no idea who I am, Professor, and I would suggest to never, ever, mention my father around me again. Because so help me God, I’ll have my hands wrapped around your neck so tight that you’ll be begging me to release you.”

“Is that a threat, Miss Faraday?” Professor Armitage leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms tight against his chest.

“Did it sound like a fucking threat, Professor?”

“Where do you get off,”

She laughed and interrupted him. “Where do I get off? Where do YOU get off giving me an unfair exam? I’d love for the dean to see this. How it was different from the rest, with questions from a course I won’t be able to take until my third year.” She removed her hands from his desk. “Now. Do you have anything else for me? Because you’re holding me up.”

Professor Armitage took her paper from his messenger bag. “This paper?” He held it out and tore it in half.

Hadley’s eyes narrowed behind her glasses. _‘Destroying my work? Who does this psychopath think he is?’_

“This paper,” He repeated, “is garbage. I’m going to need another one. Monday morning.”

Hadley smiled sweetly at him. “Sure thing. Would you like me to not use smaller words so you’ll be able to understand it?”

Professor Armitage smirked at her. “Cara said you were spoiled. And she was right on point, wasn’t she?” He attempted to make words boil underneath her skin.

“I find it interesting that while on a date with my best friend, you managed to talk about me an awful lot." She walked away from his desk, turning back around in the doorway. “See you on Monday, Professor.”

*****

Richard took the cool glass in his hand and brought it to his lips, letting the sweet bourbon run down his tongue and through his body.

“Tough day, Richard?” Lewis chuckled, taking a sip of his wine.

Richard nodded. “You could say that.” He was quiet for a few minutes until he turned in his seat at the bar to face his fellow Psychology professor. “Have you had a student, Hadley Faraday?”

Lewis nodded. “Yes, I have! Brilliant, isn’t she? She has one of those eidetic minds, she can remember every piece of information you put in front of her. Talented, that girl.”

“Yeah, talented,” He repeated, the taste of her name bitter on his lips.

“Her father used to be dean of the campus. Around five years ago, he was in a tragic car accident, hit head on by a drunk driver. Hadley was in the car. Terrible situation, he was the only parent she had.” Lewis replied, his eyes intent on Richard’s reaction.

Richard, of course, felt terrible, but wouldn’t let anyone see that emotion. “So that’s what's wrong with her,” He retorted, immediately regretting the words.

“Richard, she’s not that bad,” Lewis furrowed his brows at the Brit.

“You’re right, I apologize.” Richard downed the rest of the golden nectar and set the glass down on the bar. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Lewis shrugged. “We all have days like that, Richard. She’s very touchy about the subject, witnessing him being pulled out of that car and all. She was a mess, couldn’t come back to Texas until she finished Grad school up at NYU.”

Richard knew all too well. The memories came flooding back; the accident, it was his fault, no doubt. His wife killed immediately, the regret of it not being him too much to bear. Not knowing what to say, or think, or do.

“Would you like another whiskey?”

Richard nodded at the bartender. "Please. And keep them coming.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**four**

Hadley struggled to pull herself out of bed, the threat of sleep still heavy on her mind and body. She combed her hand through her messy blond waves and looked at the clock on her phone. 10:43am. She groaned heavily and pushed herself off the side of her bed.

‘Dammit Cara,’ She muttered, throwing a long violet cardigan over her gray tank top and pajama shorts. She made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, half asleep, and sat on the bar stool in the island.

“Good morning sunshine,” Cara greeted her, a smile on her face.

“Stop drugging me, Cara,” Hadley muttered, laying the right side of her face into the palm of her hand.

“You were going on five days with no sleep, Hadley.”

“Four,” Hadley replied, and catching the glare from Cara she added, “and a half.”

“Good morning, Miss Faraday.” His face might have been blurry as a result of her missing glasses, but the British accent always sent a chill down her spine.

She lifted her head and cut her eyes toward Cara. “Professor.”

He sat down across from her at the island, his eyesight dropping from her sparkling green eyes to the soft jersey tank top, the white lace outlining the edges fell so delicate on her smooth, kissable skin. The cotton hugged her torso just right, allowing her full, round breasts to occupy the front of her tank just perfectly.

“Something interest you, Professor?” Hadley narrowed her eyes at the man across from her, his eyes still magnetically drawn to her chest.

Richard raised his eyebrows and met her stare, his icy blue eyes not as lifeless as the day before. He searched his mind for the correct words - any words, really - yet everything went blank. _‘God, she’s entirely too beautiful in the morning,’_

“Hadley, I forgot the peppers. I’m going down to Jack’s apartment to steal some of his. I’ll be right back.” Cara looked at the two people sitting at the island and shook her head. “Be nice.”

As soon as the front door shut, Hadley sat up off the bar stool and took her cardigan off, throwing it over her shoulder. “I asked, if you saw something that interested you, Professor.”

Richard stared at the blond coming toward him. “I do.”

Hadley walked behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders, leaning her chest up against his taut back. “And I see something that interests me as well,” She whispered, her lips on his ear. Her hand trailed down his chest and landed in his lap, her fingertips outlining the hardening cock under his jeans.

Richard awoke with a jolt, sweat drenching his body. He looked around the bedroom, his bed empty. _‘Why the fuck would I have a dream about Hadley,’_

He laid back down on the bed with a heavy sigh, his right hand moving underneath the silk sheets quickly, examining his growing problem. He cupped his balls, his thumb massaging the base of his cock, and still, all he could think of was Hadley.

*****

Richard sat behind the desk in the classroom, his gaze intent on Hadley, sitting in her normal desk on the third row.

"Hadley," He started, licking his lips slowly, "your paper?"

Hadley furrowed her brows. "It's on your desk," She stated matter of factly, her eyes traveling to the desk in front of him.

Richard took the paper in his hands and looked it over, not realizing she had set it there as she came in. _'Correct length and type; nothing I can complain about yet.'_

He walked to the podium and grasped it gently, running his hands over the dark stained wood. “I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.”

Hadley raised her eyebrows. _‘What a prick. Re-writing a 10 page paper, yes, that’s what made my weekend wonderful.’_

“Everyone fared well on the exam. There were a few things that most of you didn’t comprehend, so before I move on, I’d like to talk about that and any other questions you have.” Professor Armitage took the stack of exams from his bag and began handing them out.

Hadley’s, of course, was the last one. He sat it on her desk gingerly, his lips pursed tightly. He stood there for a moment, as if to say something encouraging, yet instead he sighed deeply and took his place back at the podium.

She looked down at the exam, with a simple “A” written in red ink. A small smile appeared on her lips, excelling in her studies was one of the things that made her the happiest. She thumbed through the paper, all questions answered correctly except a few, and those that were wrong were just a simple mistake, which Professor Armitage explained in the margins.

As she turned to the last page, the 10 extra questions still stapled to the exam, she saw the same red ink in the margins. He didn’t count them as incorrect, but instead mulled on her theories, allowing her mind to expand even further.

_“See me after class.”_ His scribbly block handwriting adorned the paper and her stomach fell. She really didn’t want to have to face him alone anymore - what made him think that it was acceptable to speak to a student the way he did? He knows nothing about her or who she is a person, and to make these outrageous claims was such a defamation to her true character.

The simple command continued to weigh on her mind during the remainder of the lecture, the idea of being around him almost sickening. Her eyes wandered to the open windows, imagining herself in her apartment in New York City, lounging on the balcony, the sounds of the city floating around her. She missed it terribly. Before she knew it, class was over and she was gathering her things.

Professor Armitage walked to her desk and picked up the exam, flipping to the last page. “I shouldn’t have done this to you, Hadley, I apologize. It wasn’t fair to accuse you of something like that.”

Hadley nodded at the sincerity.

Professor Armitage handed her exam back to her and stepped towards the desk in the front of the room. “See you tomorrow, Miss Faraday,” He had left her alone before she even had the chance to respond.

*****

Hadley stormed downstairs to the dining room table, where she heard Cara giggling on her phone. “Oh, Richard, let me call you back.” Cara hung up the phone and looked over at Hadley.

_‘Typical. Richard. Ugh. What a dick.’_ Hadley rolled her eyes. “These needed to get done today, Cara.” She handed the stack of papers to her who thumbed through them in a dumbfound state.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders and looking back up at Hadley. “Is that all you needed?”

“I’ll just do it myself, Cara, don’t worry your pretty little head over it.” Hadley grabbed the stack from in front of her, the anger seeping through her pores. _‘Why do I have an assistant when NOTHING EVER GETS DONE,’_

“Oh, Richard’s taking me out tonight. Some wine bar or something, I don’t know. Maybe he’ll try and make a move on me, huh?”

Hadley leaned up against the bar, her back towards Cara. “Yeah, maybe.” She closed her eyes tightly, imagining a calm and serene environment around her. She grabbed the stack of papers and made her way upstairs, her head beginning to pound inside her skull. She sent a quick text to Jack.

_“Yoga tonight? The place down the street. Need to release some tension.”_

_“Love to, doll. Maybe after we can grab some wine, yoga’s not all you need to release that tension!”_

Jack always seemed to make her smile when nothing else could. She continued answering emails and working on the tasks that Cara was supposed to have completed, copying Cara on everything she was doing. _‘What am I even paying her to do?’_

Hadley pulled herself away from the Mac and took a quick shower, putting her hair up in a messy bun and pulling on her gray yoga leggings and violet breath + flow tank. She made her way downstairs, grabbing a water bottle and slid her gray and pink yoga sling sandals onto her feet, ready to get out of the house and relieve some stress.

The doorbell rang as her hand was on the doorknob and a knot formed inside her stomach. _So close._

She pulled the door open to a smiling Professor Armitage. “That was quick,” His smile faded as he realized it was Hadley and not Cara. “Oh, sorry, I thought you were Cara.”

_‘Apologizing for speaking to me? What a dick.’_ Hadley rolled her eyes as she pulled the door wider, allowing him entrance into her home. “Don’t worry, I was just leaving.” She left the apartment before he could say another word.

*

Jack stopped Cara quickly in the hallway. “Cara, before you go in,” He embraced her softly. “Hadley and I ran into Max this evening.”

Cara pulled herself away from him. “Max?!” She exclaimed, her eyes wide. “What? I thought he was still living in NYC.”

Jack shook his head. “No, moved back a few months ago. Has a wife. A pregnant wife, if I should add.”

“Oh my God.”

Richard furrowed his eyebrows. “One in a handful of men who Hadley had chose to love wholeheartedly.” Cara explained quickly, and Richard nodded his head. Of course he understood, he was the same type of person. Choosing who to love is a careful yet dangerous task.

“Is she okay?” Cara inquired, her voice soft.

Jack scoffed. “She says shes fine, but Lord, she’d be cut in two and she’d still say she’s fine.”

Cara chuckled. “I’ll check on her. Thanks, Jack.”

Richard and Cara let themselves into the apartment quietly and made their way into the kitchen to put the to-go boxes in the refrigerator.

Hadley jumped at their presence. “Jesus, you scared me,” She mumbled, her fingers fumbling with the wine opener.

“Sorry. Need some help?” Cara inquired, setting her bag down on the counter.

Hadley readjusted the wine opener and shook her head. “Nope, I got it.”

“We ran into Jack outside, Hadley. You okay?”

“I’m fine.” She was adamant on the statement, finally uncorking the vintage bottle of red.

“He said you ran into Max earlier. Are you sure you’re okay?” Cara laid a hand gently on her forearm.

“Thanks, Cara, but I’m fine.”

“Well, I just figured, I know you’re lonely and…”

Hadley snatched the bottle of wine from the counter top and snapped at Cara. “No shit, Cara! Of course I’m lonely!” She started out of the kitchen.

Cara's eyes grew wide. "Damn, Hadley! You need to stop using those fucking vibrators and get you a real man. Why don't you try that sometime?"

"Fuck you, Cara. I'm not a goddamned whore." Hadley turned on her heels and started towards the master suite but ran straight into Professor Armitage. "Goddamnit!"

Richard backed away from Hadley slowly, his eyes trailing her face. Tears welled in her eyes; her hands gripped the bottle of red wine tightly; small beads of sweat sat on her collarbone; the nape of her neck begging for his lips.

They stood in the hallway, their eyes on each other; Hadley's breathing quickened with each passing second.

"Richard," Cara's nasally voice called out from the kitchen.

Richard shrugged his shoulders, his eyes growing soft towards Hadley.

Hadley shook her head, the tears slowly falling down her cheeks. "Go," She whispered, pointing towards the kitchen. "Just go,"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**five**

Richard continued to sort through the boxes in his garage, looking for one in particular. He had been living in Texas for almost a year now and he still couldn't force himself to unpack completely, the memory of her lingering in each crate. He took a dusty box from the top of the stack and brought it inside, attempting to remove some of the clutter from his home.

He opened the top and began to dig through the box, immediately regretting the decision. He took the photograph from the top of the possessions, her bright green eyes staring up at him; she had been dead for over five years, and even now, she still took his breath away. He wiped the dust off the glass with his fingertips, reminiscing to the time when he took the photo.

They were at the park having a simple, relaxing day and after a picnic lunch they took out their books and began to read. He happened to glance over at her and he was completely awestruck; even after eight years together, every time he looked at her was like it was the first time. The way the sun was shining so brightly behind her; the wind blowing her curls, framing her face; her lips moving silently as she read the next line of her novel. She turned towards him and smiled, and feeling nothing but love and perfection, he took out his camera and snapped the picture.

Richard sat the photograph down on the table next to the box and sighed, the decision on what he should do with the memory laying blank in his mind. He tried so hard to get over her, and now, feeling as if he was losing her memory completely, he was terrified. He had made so many wonderful and new memories with her that he never wanted to let them go. Every single time he stood up at the front of a classroom, he would think about their first psychology course at Cambridge, where she leaned over and asked him for a pen. At that moment he was absolutely smitten with her and never wanted to let her go.

Walking into his first summer course at Texas, his mind was blown when at first glance, Hadley Faraday looked exactly like Ginny. The blond, wavy hair; bright green eyes; know-it-all attitude. Hadley had reminded him so much of his wife that he was beginning to wonder if Ginny had been reincarnated to his most pretentious student.

No, that wasn’t fair, Hadley wasn’t pretentious. She had a gift, an awe inspiring mind that constantly surprised him; and an attitude so tough he was beginning to doubt that anyone could ever really get through to her. He didn’t know anything about her, and although he had an urge to change that, he knew he couldn’t. She was his student, and that was it.

He decided to keep the photograph on the counter for now, thinking that it may help with his unwillingness to let things go. Make him remember that she was gone and there was nothing he could do about it except move on.

*****

“So, you’re not doing anything with Richard tonight, then?” Hadley inquired to Cara as she unloaded the dishwasher.

Cara sat up on the island counter. “No. I’ve tried to text him a few times but he’s not answering.”

“He doesn’t seem like the texting type,” Hadley scoffed.

“He’s not. Still hasn’t kissed me, either. Like he’s holding back or scared or something.”

Hadley shrugged her shoulders. “I hope you’re not asking for my advice,”

Cara chuckled. “No, hell, I don’t even know what’s going on. He’s so literate, and cultured. Sometimes he’ll say things and I have no idea how to respond.”

“So why are you still seeing him?”

“I’m bored.”

Hadley laughed. “Go to the market. I’m sure you’ll find someone else willing to take you to dinner.”

“Hmm, that’s not a bad idea! Want to join me?”

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here.”

Cara walked over and hugged her tightly. “You’re the best, Hadley.”

*****

With a storm coming in off the coast, Professor Armitage decided to try something different and have class out on the South lawn. The wind was blowing gently around them, cooling off their overheated bodies, the sun hiding behind the clouds cast a gray shadow onto the bright green lawn. Professor Armitage stood in front of the group of five, as one student was missing, sitting on their blankets, noses in their books, reading over the lesson he had just lectured on.

His stare caught Hadley, sitting cross legged on a plaid blanket. Her blond waves danced around her face, forcing her to abandon her book and put her hair up in a messy bun. Those sparkling green eyes caught his and she smiled softly at him, picking the book back up and continued reading from where she left off.

It was as if he had swallowed a brick of lead. His knees went weak, his stomach fell, his heart pounded inside his chest. Trying to pull himself together, he asked the class a question regarding the lesson, as he wanted this day to end immediately. Of course, no one knew the answer except Hadley, who spouted off the correct answer and a little more.

Professor Armitage pursed his lips tightly, the anger slowly rising from his chest. “Goddamnit, Hadley, not everyone likes a fucking know-it-all!” He clutched his fingers to his lips after the words escaped his mouth. He turned his back on the group, not wanting to see the reaction that she would give him - whether angry or upset or hurt, he didn't think his heart could take it.

A few students gasped, turning their attention to the grief-stricken blonde. Usually so hard headed, determined, stubborn; this time she could hardly muster any strength from her body. Her eyes fell to the book in her hands, searching for the words to say. _‘Come on, Hadley, don’t give in so easily,’_ She begged herself to not look like an idiot in front of these people she had grown to respect.

Professor Armitage cleared his throat, praying fervently she would look up from her book to meet his gaze, but she never could make herself. “That’s it for today, class; study over your study guide for the week and be ready for an exam in the morning.”

Hadley prayed silently to keep herself together; there was no way he was going to let her look like an emotional fool. She gathered her books and laptop and threw them in her messenger bag, slinging it over her torso quickly as Professor Armitage picked up her blanket from the ground and handed it to her, intently watching her face and realized no emotions were present except for the tears in her eyes. He would have done anything to be able to throw his arms around her and apologize, beg for her forgiveness.

She took the blanket from him and turned on her heels, attempting to get away from him as quickly as possible.

“Miss Faraday,” He called out after her, his voice begging for forgiveness, emotion, anything he could put his hands on.

She continued walking, not giving him the slightest moment that he needed. There was no way she could face him.

*****

Richard sat at the desk in the classroom, mulling over yesterdays events. How he could say those things to her, he’ll never know what came over him. The thought of losing his job didn’t even compare to the thought of how he knew he hurt her. Hadley didn’t deserve any of the treatment he had given her, and what’s worse, is that he knew it. She reminded him of how the accident was HIS fault; he killed his wife and he was forever living with that guilt.

_‘God, I’m a fucking psychologist, how can I not deal with this?’_ He could feel her anger as she walked through the door and sat at her desk, her eyesight never landing on him. She took out her folder, book, and pen, as with everyone else, and leaned her elbows onto the top of her desk.

Professor Armitage took the podium in his hands and leaned up against it. “Does anyone have any questions before I hand out the exams?”

Hadley zoned out the voice that always sent chills down her spine, instead focusing on the black ink pen in her left hand. The anxiety was so overwhelming she barely had enough Xanax to get her through this exam; thank God for Cara refilling her prescriptions at this very moment. Of course Cara didn’t know why Hadley was in such a mood, but she knew better than to pry.

His hand startled her train of thought, sliding the exam over her desk gingerly as to not disturb her. She snatched the exam out of his hand and began looking it over, attempting to set a world record for quickest exam taken.

“Do you mind putting your book away, Miss Faraday?”

Hadley reached in deep for a breath of air before she made any reaction, and simply placed the book and folder back into her messenger bag, still not giving the satisfaction of looking at him. She was hurt, embarrassed. That’s the last time she’ll even think about speaking up in a class again.

*****

“I don’t know what has Hadley in a mood,” Cara trailed off, bringing the cold glass of beer to her lips, her eyes settling on Richard sitting across from her.

Richard furrowed his brows. “I figured she told you everything,” He replied, taking the stem of the wine glass in between his fingers.

Cara chuckled. “No. She’s an introvert, she keeps to herself; prefers to be by herself; alone in her thoughts. She doesn’t talk as much as you probably think.”

“An introvert, hmm?” He nodded his head slowly. “Has she always been like that?”

“Yes. Even more so after her father died, and then after Max left, she kind of just went mute.” Cara explained, taking another sip of beer.

Richard nodded, the pain in his heart growing too much to bear. “Uh, excuse me, Cara, I need to make a phone call.” He excused himself from the table and headed to the men's room, locking the door behind him. He leaned up against the counter, tears welling in his eyes.

_“What have I done,”_ He muttered, his chest heaving with each breath. This wasn’t just a normal spat. This was an introvert feeling comfortable enough to express their opinion and immediately being shot down in the rudest way possible. He humiliated her, tore her down. _“What a fool I’ve been,”_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**six**

Richard sighed heavily as he pulled into the driveway of the the Pollard’s home, a combination of nerves and anxiety surrounding his blow up at Hadley last week in class. He had the entire weekend to fester over his emotions, and here he was, having dinner with the Dean of the university and Hadley on a Sunday evening.

Did she say something to the Dean? Complain about his antics? Truth be told, he was more worried about Hadley’s emotions than his job. He could always find another teaching opportunity, but you couldn't always pick your emotions up off the ground and brush them off as if nothing had happened.

He knew that she must have felt bruised, wounded, defeated; and that’s the last thing that he wanted this incredibly gifted woman to feel like. Because of him. Because of his inability to deal with his wife's death, he couldn’t control his own emotions.

The black 650i BMW coupe pulled up next to him and immediately, he grabbed the bottle of wine from the passengers seat and got out of the car. As the drivers side door to her car opened, he smiled softly.

“Miss Faraday,”

“Professor. I thought you would have been here 10 minutes ago.”

As she peeled herself out of the seat, Richard could barely produce a single thought or speak a single word. The black Herve Leger textured bandage dress fit her body perfectly, the hem falling a few inches from her knee; the low scoop neckline dipping into her chest; the cap sleeves covering her dainty shoulders protectively.

Richard nodded his head, his eyes trailing her body. “I usually run late when I’m in my head.” He admitted, finally catching her gaze.

“Which is why I’m always late, Professor.” She took the bottle of wine from her car and shut the drivers side door, heading towards the front walkway. She stopped at the front of his car. “I see we were both thinking on the same level.”

“Yes, that we were,” He nodded, his eyes quickly trailing to the red pinot in her hands, and back to her penetrating blue diamond eyes. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Miss Faraday?”

She smiled at him softly. “Of course.”

He rubbed his free hand across the front of his perfectly fit black waistcoat. “I just wanted to apologize for last week,”

“Ah, yes, last week,” Hadley trailed off, nodding her head softly. “It’s fine,” She started, shrugging her shoulders, her eyes falling to the ground in front of her.

“No, it’s not fine. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, for no reason. I feel awful about it, actually.” His eyes trailed her face, studying her reaction.

“Don’t feel awful about it, Professor. We all have moments where it gets too much.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Did you say anything to Dean Pollard?” He inquired, clearing his throat.

She scoffed. “No, why would I do that?”

“You’re pretty talented at keeping things inside, aren’t you?”

She took a few steps towards him. “You could say that. It’s not healthy, but sometimes, it’s just the easiest thing to do.”

He chuckled softly and nodded his head. How true that was. “You should wear heels more often, Miss Faraday.”

“And why’s that?” She narrowed her eyes at him playfully.

“Because you’re easier to see.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you making fun of my height? Not all of us were born with long legs, you know.”

“No,” Richard started, motioning towards the front of the house, and Hadley followed his lead. “I guess not every woman was born with a body like yours either.”

A light pink blush burst onto her cheeks. “I guess not,”

“Not used to compliments, Miss Faraday?” He inquired, sensing her uncomfortable reaction.

“No,” She replied, turning towards him and looking up at him, “I mean, you’ve seen Cara. It’s the first thing men normally flutter to, obviously.”

“Well then they don’t know what to look for. Obviously.” He chuckled.

“Says the man who’s took her out a handful of times.”

Richard nodded his head. “Touche. She seems lost. Cara, I mean.” They walked up the front steps of the front porch slowly.

Hadley shrugged her shoulders lightly. “She is. Doesn’t really know what she wants, just kind of floats by.”

“You know, I haven’t touched her.” He whispered, stopping himself from ringing the doorbell.

“Ah, well, although it’s none of my business, you might want to tell her why.” Hadley slapped his hand out of the way and rang the doorbell.

“I think she knows, Miss Faraday.”

She looked over at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “And what makes you think I want to?”

*****

“Richard, Hadley’s father was the dean of the university before I stepped in. He was a brilliant man.” Dean Pollard turned to Hadley and smiled. “I thought about you on Thursday. I tried to call before I went out to the cemetery, but I figured you had already been there.”

Hadley took a small sip of wine. “I did. I went in the morning, after Professor Armitage’s class.” Her eyes trailed to the tall, handsome man sitting across from her at the dining room table.

“It seems like forever ago, doesn’t it?”

She sighed. “Unfortunately for me, I’m reminded of it every single day.”

“That guilt is going to be the death of you, my dear.” Dean Pollard shook his head at Hadley, who took another sip of wine. “Aren’t you learning about that in Psychology? Or is Richard not doing a well enough job educating you?”

“Yes, I’m aware, Dean. But it doesn’t make it any easier.” He slid the bottle of wine over to her and winked at her. “With time, my dear.”

“I believe your own Abraham Lincoln said ‘the best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time’. It’s difficult, Miss Faraday, trust me. But forcing yourself to make it easier is only going to make it harder.” Richard smiled sympathetically at Hadley, his eyes boring into hers.

She nodded, appreciatively, and took another sip of wine.

“Hadley had flew in from New York. Her father had taken some time off to spend with her.” Dean Pollard began to explain, holding the stem of his wine glass tightly. Hadley began to fade out at the familiar scenario she plagued herself with every single day. “They were coming back from the airport and a drunk driver swerved into their lane, hit them head on. The Jeep flipped twice. It was dreadful, Richard. Hadley hearing her father choking on his own blood, begging him not to leave her.”

Her eyes focused on the wine bottle in front of her, the sweet red nectar whispering her name, begging for a bigger taste. She looked up suddenly, both men staring at her expectantly.

“I’m going to see if Emily needs help with desert.” Dean Pollard sat up from his chair and walked into the kitchen, before laying a hand gently on Hadley’s shoulder, squeezing it softly.

She stood up quickly, throwing her napkin on her plate. “I’ll be, uh, right back,” She headed towards the hallway and locked herself into the bathroom, where she gripped the marble countertop tightly.

The accident, the words, the memories, the visions. They were forever trapped in her memory, nothing she could ever do or say would get rid of the tragedy that surrounded her on a daily basis. She drew a deep breath and took a long look at herself in the mirror, pleading with herself to let go of the terrible memories, even for just the moment. She washed her hands and combed her fingers through the blond waves surrounding her face.

As soon as she opened the door, Richard was blocking the entryway.

She gasped. “Sorry, Professor, I didn’t see you there.”

“Well of course not, Miss Faraday, the door was closed.” He leaned up onto one side of the doorway and laid his hand on the other side, blocking her exit.

“Can I help you, Professor?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Why are you being so kind, Miss Faraday?”

“Kind?” She repeated, her eyes searching his for a deeper answer.

“Yes. I’ve snapped at you, talked about your deceased father, yelled at you, treated you unfairly. I apologize, and you forgive me so easily.”

Hadley stepped back, admiring the way his blue striped shirt made his eyes pop with a life of color she had never seen before. “I get angry a lot, Professor. And it’s not worth it. I get angry, and mad, and do things I shouldn’t do, and say things I shouldn’t say. And I know that my father would be disappointed in me for acting like that. I’ve always been taught to be strong, independent, do things myself. Dwelling in my emotions is not helping me at all.”

He nodded. “But it’s so hard.”

“It’s very difficult, Professor. You just learn how to deal with it. Me? I like wine. And Xanax helps too.”

“Miss Faraday, you shouldn’t be drinking wine and taking Xanax. It’s dangerous.”

Hadley chuckled. “Not together, Professor. I don’t want to turn out like my mother. She was a pill popping, wine drinking fiend.”

“Was?” Richard inquired, sympathy in his voice.

“Oh, I don’t know where she is now, and I don’t really care. She left when I was a baby, so I have no memories of her, just what my father told me. Now whether that was the truth or not, I guess we’ll never know.”

“You have such an attitude about you, Miss Faraday. Spunky, know-it-all, stubborn. The kindness just caught me by surprise.” He chuckled.

“Professor, you have no idea who I really am, what I really do, what makes my brain tick.” She stepped closer towards him. “I don’t know why you treat me the way that you do, and I’m not going to ask why, because it’s none of my business. I’m just going to ask you to lay off of me, please. Because I can only pretend to be strong for such a small window of time.”

He saw the tears burrowing in the corner of her eye and brought his hand to her cheek gently, his thumb wiping away the tears slowly. “I’m sorry, Miss Faraday. I really am. You don’t deserve it and I know that. I’m trying my damndest here.” His hand fell to her hip and instantly, his touch made her knees turn weak.

She pursed her lips tightly, imagining him running his long fingers under her dress and up her thigh; pressing his tight body against hers; his hot breath stinging the nape of her neck.

“Miss Faraday?” He smiled at her. “What are you thinking about?”

Hadley cut her eyes towards him and smirked, her eyes running the length of his body. “Oh, professor. That would be inappropriate.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy. 

**seven**

Cara sat on the leather bar stool gingerly, her eyes scanning the surroundings of Richard's kitchen. She picked up the dark framed photograph next to a small moving box on the counter beside her.

“Who’s this?” The green eyed blonde stared up at her, the resemblance to Hadley uncanny.

“My wife.” He responded hastily, walking up behind her and taking the photograph out of her hands.

She turned towards him sharply. “Your wife? You’re married?”

“No, she died.” Richard's voice was low as he opened a drawer in the kitchen and tossed the photograph in it, slamming it shut.

“Oh. Sorry.” Cara leaned her elbows up on the counter.

“What are you doing here, Cara?” He inquired, taking his messenger bag from the seat beside her.

“I was bored.”

Richard chuckled. “You’re bored? Don’t you have a job?”

“I do. But, she’s busy. Writing. Doesn’t like to be disturbed.” She followed Richard into his study, where he set his bag down on the large, mahogany desk.

“What about Hadley?” He sat down in the leather chair behind his desk, his mind immediately floating to Hadley, curled up somewhere with her nose in her laptop.

Cara shrugged. “Writing.” She sat across from him the wing back chair, pulling her legs underneath her.

“Please don’t put your dirty shoes on my furniture,” His voice was stern as he took out a few stacks papers from his bag.

“You sound like my dad.” She mumbled as she kicked off her shoes onto the floor in front of her.

Richard looked up from his bag, cutting his eyes towards her. “Really?”

She smirked. “Really.”

“I find it hard to believe, Cara, that you have nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon than come to my home.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure we could find something better to do.” Her eyes sparkled as a suggestive smile tugged on the corners of her lips.

Richard chuckled. “Cara. You’re gorgeous, but your personality is," He hesitated, trying to find the words necessary. "Mundane. We don't have any of the same interests, and I'm afraid, that's not going to work."

“I knew you were going to say that.” She mumbled, laying her chin in her open hand.

“So then why are you really here?” He took out a red pen from a drawer in his desk.

“To talk about Hadley.”

Immediately, his eyes traveled to the brunette. “Talk about Hadley?” He repeated.

Cara smirked. “Yes. Hadley. She’s tender, you know.”

Richard nodded, his mind reminiscing to earlier in the morning as Hadley sat at her desk, her eyes in a textbook, the short cotton summer dress showing off her tan, bare legs. _Tender, yes_. “Tender?”

Cara nodded. “She might come off as stubborn, and a mess, and pretentious,” Richard chuckled as she used the word, “but deep down, she’s tender. Wants someone to be with her for who she really is, not just what she looks like or how her mind works.”

“I’m not following you, Cara.” _Of course he was following her._

“You like her.”

“I’m her professor.”

“But you like her.”

“I’m her professor.” He nodded his head slowly to her, his eyebrows raised, hoping she would get the gist of what he was trying to say without the use of too many words.

“Ah, right. Yes. You’re her professor.” She repeated after a few minutes, her eyes lowering to her shoes. “Right. Well. I must be going, I need to head to the market. Is there something you’d like me to tell Hadley?” She pulled her shoes back on her feet.

Richard’s mind raced. There were so many things that came into his mind, but at the same time he didn’t know if he could trust Cara or not. His hand traveled his jawline, his fingertips running over the 5o’clock shadow on his face. He bit the tip of his index finger lightly and shook his head. “Just that I’ll see her tomorrow morning.”

*****

Cara walked up behind Hadley on the balcony and handed her a plate full of food.

“Oh, Cara, this looks amazing. Thank you.” Hadley took the plate and brought it closer to her nose, inhaling the delicious aroma.

“So, I saw your professor this afternoon.”

“Is that so?” Hadley began to eat the cedar roasted salmon, her mind festering on the thought of Cara and Richard together.

“Yeah. He told me that I was gorgeous but my personality is mundane. Can you believe that?”

Hadley chuckled. “See. Not so perfect now, is he?”

“He made me think too much.” She pouted, leaning back on the outdoor couch.

“Sometimes thinking too much isn’t a bad thing.”

Cara sighed, reviewing the conversation with Richard in her mind, debating on whether or not to bring it up with Hadley. She decided not to for the time being, as she didn’t want to blab information about Richard that he didn’t want known. If he wanted to tell Hadley, then he would, but it wasn’t her place to do so.

“What’s on your mind, Cara?” Hadley took a bite of the wild rice pilaf, her eyes cutting towards the brunette curled up on the end of the couch.

“I don’t know. I mean, I keep going back to the big question, what do I want to do with my life.” She sighed, leaning her head back. “I know I can’t keep being your assistant forever. I mean, let’s face it, you’re the one that takes care of me.”

Hadley chuckled. “You can be my assistant for as long as you’d like, Cara. But only if it’s really what you want to do. You are an amazing chef, hell, that’s what you went to school for! If that’s what you want to do, do it.”

“Not all of us are born with minds like yours, Hadley.”

Hadley set the plate down on the table beside her. “Cara. I was born with an amazing gift, and I was blessed enough to be able to use it. Not everyone is able to do what they love, and you have a chance. You know that I will support you no matter what. Sure, I may have an overly creative mind, but that’s about it. I can’t cook, I hate to clean, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning. I’m scatterbrained. Insistent. Stubborn. Don’t compare yourself to me, compare yourself to the woman you want to become.”

Cara sat up and faced her. “You know he likes you.”

Hadley furrowed her brows, the subject change startling her thought process. “Who?”

“Richard. Your professor. He likes you.” She stated matter of factly, her lips curling into a smile.

“No,” Hadley scoffed, picking her plate back up. “Why would he like me, please, Cara.” She was never one to see things how they really were.

“He does. I know that you can’t see these things, Hadley, it’s just who you are wired to be, but I do. That man has something for you, and I think you should pursue it.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s my professor.”

“But he likes you.”

“He’s my professor.”

“But, he likes you.” Cara smiled to herself, the conversation from earlier in the day with Richard was brought back to her memory.

Those two were going to deny it as long as they could withstand.

*****

Hadley walked down the corridor of the SEA building alone, her footsteps echoing off the bare walls and open ceiling. She stopped when she reached Professor Armitage’s office door, her second thoughts talking her out of what she was about to do. She was a second away from turning on her heels when the door opened suddenly.

“Miss Faraday,” Professor Armitage stood back, the sight of her in another short, cotton dress making his imagination turn wild.

“Professor. I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

“No, no. I was just on my way out.”

“Oh!” Hadley stepped back, her eyes traveling down the hallway she walked up moments ago. “I apologize, I’ll come back later.”

“Well, I have office hours for a reason, Miss Faraday.” His voice was curt as he shut his office door and locked it behind him.

She raised her eyebrows. “Ah, well, I apologize, I’ll come back then.” She turned from him and began walking away.

"Miss Faraday,” He called out after her, watching the hem of her dress dance around her thighs. He groaned silently, his fingers aching to experience the simple touch of her skin.

Hadley turned and faced him. “Yes, Professor?”

He began walking towards her. “I apologize. I’m, to be honest, exhausted. I took on Professor Lewis’ introductory night courses, and with this heat, my mind is scattered.”

“It’s fine. I just came by to have a conversation with you, if that’s alright.”

“Absolutely.” He replied, his steps in synch with hers.

“Do you mind sitting somewhere, though? It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who’s almost a foot taller than yourself.”

Richard laughed. “I apologize, Miss Faraday. It is a little difficult, isn’t it?” He led her to the abandoned sitting area at the front of the building, where he sat close to her on a leather couch.

Hadley pulled her legs underneath her and turned towards him.

“How tall are you? 5’6”?”

She chuckled. “No. You’re giving me too much credit. Only 5’5”.”

“Well, I’m 6’2”, so that’s only 9 inches.” He winked at her.

Hadley rolled her eyes. “Nine inches, hmm? You’re terrible.”

He shrugged. “I’m British. We’re dirty, what can I say.”

“And I’m your student, Professor.” She bit her bottom lip softly and cut her eyes towards him.

Richard shook his head and smiled at her. “So what can I help you with, Miss Faraday?”

She hesitated. “I need some advice. I’m a writer, and in my current novel,”

Richard smiled at her, cutting her words off. “You’re a writer?”

She nodded. “I am.”

“Have you been published?”

Hadley nodded again. “I have been, yes.”

“Sorry, continue,” His eyes penetrated into hers.

“The main character is a psychologist. She has this patient who is hung up, so to speak, on a terrible incident that occurred in the past, and she’s trying to help him move past it. But, I’m sorry to say, I don’t know everything about psychology and need some help as to what and why this has occurred.”

“And is this based off of personal experiences?” He inquired, his voice low.

Hadley shook her head. “No, it’s a little different situation than what I’ve been succumbed to.”

“I just didn’t want to say anything to upset you, that’s all. I wasn’t trying to pry.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s just,” She hesitated, unsure if she could trust this man or not. She knew that he was educated so he would be able to communicate with her effectively on what she should or shouldn’t write, but was it worth it? He smiled at her encouragingly.

“Please, Miss Faraday. Continue. I’ll answer any and all questions you have to the best of my ability.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**eight**

Richard laid down on the leather chaise lounge in his study and sighed heavily, shutting his eyes for just a moment to relish in the peace and quiet. The last few weeks had been absolutely dreadful; between his own classes and taking on Professor Lewis’ classes, he honestly didn’t think that it would take this much out of him. Spring semester had been a nightmare as well, so he thought he could slide by this Summer semester without another thought, yet here he was, in the same position. He didn't have an associate professor yet, so all of the work came down on him and him alone. Papers, exams, quizzes, lectures, preparation. His mind was working in overdrive.

Maybe he did need a break, and honestly, he thought summer would be enough to calm him down. He thought about Hadley and the possibility of asking her for some assistance - she had taken the courses before and excelled in them, and he trusted her to do an honest job, so why not ask her? He was terrified that she would think more into it, an opportunity for them to get closer, but, truthfully, right now he just needed the assistance. He would enjoy her company, but honestly, he could barely keep himself straight, how could he even think about a relationship at this time?

*****

The prompt knock on his office door surprised Richard - was it 2:30 already? Hadley proceeded into the office slowly, as to not wanting to interrupt him once again.

“Miss Faraday, please,” He stood up from the mountain of paperwork behind his desk. “Come in.”

She was taken aback by his kindness and knew immediately that she was there for a certain reason. "Professor,” She greeted him wearily, stepping in front of his desk. “You wanted to see me?”

Richard smiled as he sat back down in his chair. “Yes, sit, please.” He motioned to the leather chair across from the desk.

Hadley took off her messenger bag and set it beside the chair. “Am I in trouble again?” She inquired with raised eyebrows, sitting in the chair gingerly and pulling her legs underneath her.

An act he once scolded Cara for, was unbelievably adorable for her to do it. He chuckled. “No, I need a favor, actually.”

“A favor?” She repeated, her fingertips trailing the dewy skin of her thighs. “What kind of favor?”

“As you can see,” He pointed to the stacks of papers on and around his desk. “I’m a little overwhelmed.”

She nodded her head politely. “Yes, I can see that.”

“And it’s because I’ve took on one too many courses than I should have. I was wondering if you would be interested in helping me out?”

Hadley smiled at him softly.

“You know, grading some papers, exams, nothing too difficult. I trust your sense of judgment, and you excel at every piece of information I throw at you.”

She blinked heavily, letting her eyes fall on his. That icy stare did something to her, and she couldn’t muster up the strength to decline. There was something about him, something that she couldn’t put her finger on, but something that made her knees turn weak, her heart race, a drop pitted in her stomach. “Of course I’ll help.”

“I admit, I thought I would have to twist your arm a little more.” He chuckled.

“Well, I’m going to have a lot more time on my hands now.” She stated, shrugging her shoulders.

“That’s right,” He started, running his fingertips across his jaw line, “you turn in your final draft to your editor this week.”

She nodded. “Friday is the deadline. I kept pushing it back, because I just wasn’t ready, and now the time has come, and I still don’t know if I’m ready.”

“I’m sure it’s wonderful, Hadley. Have you spoken to Kate Carlyle about these fears?”

Hadley smirked softly, her eyes trailing to the stacks of papers on his desk. “Yes, she’s been of some nice assistance, that’s for sure.” And she had. There were often times Hadley had no idea what she was doing, but Kate, of course, knew everything.

Richard smiled supportively, unable to produce any empathetic words possible. “Do you have plans over the weekend?”

She shook her head. “No, everyone is going out of town. Vacations, trips to the beach. I prefer to sit at home and read and catch up on television.”

He chuckled. “I understand. Would Saturday work? I have so many exams and papers to be turned in on Friday, that I doubt starting earlier would even help the situation.”

She nodded. “Saturday is fine.”

“Wonderful. 9:30?”

“9:30 works for me.” Her eyes trailed the desolate office, the oversized bookshelves full of everything you could imagine, from textbooks to novels to cookbooks. “Is that all you needed me for?”

Professor Armitage finally caught her gaze. “That’s it. Thank you, Miss Faraday. I’ll see you for class in the morning.”

*****

Hadley sat at the head of her dining room table, her legs folded up underneath her in the chair, the open MacBook in front of her. She pushed her glasses back to the bridge of her nose, concentrating on one sentence that was bothering her. Something just wasn’t right, whether it was the wording or the layout, she was at a loss for words.

“Hadley, its close to two in the morning.” Cara trudged into the kitchen, retrieving a glass from the cabinet.

“I’m aware. Something's bothering me, and I can’t figure it out.” Her eyes maintained the focus on the screen, the blue tension ball in her left hand continued to falter under the stress.

Cara filled the glass with water and walked back out of the kitchen. “What’s on your mind.” She sat down next to her at the table.

Hadley cut her eyes to her. “Why would Professor Armitage ask me to help him with some of his classes? Grading papers and such.”

Cara sighed. “Hadley, I think he likes you.”

“But, he’s my professor.”

Cara sat the glass down on the table and turned towards her. She loved Hadley wholeheartedly, but didn’t understand how she couldn’t comprehend human emotions and expressions. “I know he’s your professor. But I still think that he likes you. He respects your mind. Knows you’re educated. He trusts you to help him.”

Hadley continued to squeeze the ball in her hand relentlessly, her mind working in overdrive.

“Do you like him?”

“Hmm?” Hadley turned her heads back towards Cara.

“You heard me.”

Hadley sighed and rolled her eyes. “He’s yelled at me, you know. Called me names.”

“Like what?” Cara leaned up onto the table, her eyebrows raising.

“One afternoon, we were having class on the lawn. Asked a question, I answered it. He turned irate. ‘God damn it, Hadley, you’re such a know it all’. I was mortified. He asked the question, I knew the answer, so I replied. How does that make me such a know it all?”

Cara shook her head, anger festering in her stomach. “You’re not, Hadley. And don’t ever think that. You’re a good person, with a loving heart. Don’t let men like him dictate your emotions. You’re so much better than that.”

“ _Miss Faraday_ ,” She mocked his accent, a sarcastic tone flowing off her lips. “ _I know you think you’re too good to be here, but I have a job to do_.” She shook her head, continuing. “ _You have an undergraduate and masters degree from NYU, what are you even doing here? Don’t want to give up daddy’s money yet?_ ”

“Hadley, you know you don’t have to deal with that, right?” Cara reached across the table and took her hand, squeezing it softly.

“Eh, he apologized, it’s fine.” She shrugged off the touch on her hand, touching her fingertips to the keys once again. “Don’t worry about it.”

*****

Cara’s pace down the SEA hallway was almost at a run. The anger boiled underneath her skin, itching to relieve itself in the worst way possible. How dare he. Who gave him the right? Who does he think he is?

No one has the right to speak to anyone that way - especially Hadley. The quietest, most sensitive, heart wrenching woman on the planet. She won’t kill spiders because “they have families”; wants a dog so she’ll have someone to love her unconditionally; won’t get married because she’ll have no one there. He didn’t understand her, didn’t even bother getting to know who she is.

She opened the door to his office, walked in like she owned the place, and slammed the door shut behind her.

Richard raised his eyebrows, the pen dropping from his hand. “Cara, can I help you with something? I have class in a few minutes.” He stood up from his chair, gathering the pen and papers from the top of his desk.

Cara stood in his office, her dark eyes staring a hole through his head. “Where do you get off,” She muttered, shaking her head gently.

“Excuse me?” Richard shuffled the papers into his bag and walked towards her. “I’m at a loss of what you’re doing here, Cara, is something the matter?”

Before she could even process her actions and thoughts, her right hand came crashing to his cheek. He pressed his hand to the reddening spot on his face. “What the fuck, Cara!”

“Don’t you ever speak to Hadley in that manner again. You have no idea who she really is, and thank God its nothing like you. She’s bright, and beautiful, and charming, and caring. Has a heart of gold. And for you to speak towards her in such a negative manner is imposing on your role as her professor.”

Richard held up his hands. “I’m aware, Cara. I’ve already spoken to her and apologized about everything, so this is unnecessary.”

Cara scoffed. “No, it’s entirely necessary. Because if you ever hurt her again, I swear to God, Richard. You’ll have to my pry my hands from around your neck.”

Richard chuckled. “I’m sorry,” He replied quickly. “It’s just, I’ve heard the same statement from Hadley before. You two really are something else.”

Cara crossed her arms across her chest and sighed. “The fact that she’s had to do this before should make you think, Richard.”

“She’s never slapped me; I would’ve liked it too much. But she’s so damn cute when she’s mad.” He murmured, running his fingertips over his jaw line.

Cara cocked her head to the side, a smirk spreading on her lips. “You’re terrible. Which is exactly why you need her.”

“She’s my student, Cara. I can’t touch her.”

“I’m aware. But she won’t be your student for much longer.”

“Much longer?” He scoffed. “August 15 is the end of the term. That’s a little more than a month, and I have to watch her every single day in my classroom. I,” He held up his hands. “I can’t talk with you about this, I’m sorry.”

Cara shook her head. “It’s because she looks like your wife, isn’t it.”

Richard locked his jaw tight, his eyes cutting towards her. “Don’t, Cara.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just, the resemblance is recognizable.”

He nodded. “Yes. Now, if you don’t mind, I must be getting to class.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a moment and as a result this chapter is quite long... so I hope you'll enjoy it about as much as I do. :) Once again: this has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**nine**

Richard glanced at the clock on his laptop and smiled softly. _‘Of course she’s early.’_

The door opened slowly and unknowingly, he held his breath in anticipation. “Good morning, Miss Faraday.”

“Good morning, Professor.” She dropped her messenger bag on the couch and sat in the chair across from his desk. “You can call me Hadley, you know.”

“I prefer Miss Faraday, if that’s alright with you.” He closed his laptop and let his gaze fall to her sparkling emerald eyes.

“Alright, Professor, where should we get started?”

He smiled at her, looking around his office. “Uh, well,” He mumbled, standing up from his chair and shuffling some papers around. He was completely lost.

Hadley chuckled. “What needs to be done first, let’s start there.”

He shrugged his shoulders, trying to produce the words or actions necessary.

“Professor,” She scolded, cutting her eyes towards him.

Immediately, his demeanor changed; he bit his bottom lip in attempt to hide the smile he wanted to give her. “Just tell me what I need to do, Miss Faraday.”

She tilted her head to the side, a smile forming on her perfectly moist lips. _Of course he needed to be told what to do._ “You need to organize your papers and exams by class; starting with the ones that need to be given back the soonest.”

Professor Armitage sighed deeply as a calming serenity flowed through his body. “Alright.”

Hadley stood from the chair. “Why don’t you organize them on this table in front of the couch? There’s plenty of room,” She planted her right hand on her hip, her left hand pointing to the wooden rustic coffee table.

He nodded and began moving the papers to the table.

_She knew exactly what he needed._

**_*_ **

As Hadley’s eyes began to grow heavy from the mundane task of grading Intro to Psychology exams, they drifted towards the bookshelf in Professor Armitage’s office. The royal blue spine caught her attention immediately and she narrowed her eyes towards her Professor.

He glanced over at her and back at the bookshelf. “Do you see something that interests you, Miss Faraday?”

She sat up from the couch and walked towards the domineering bookcase silently, her fingers landing on the thick hardcover novel.

Professor Armitage watched helplessly as she pulled the novel from in between a vegetarian cookbook and a Dean Koontz mystery. He sat the paper in his hand down and leaned his elbows on the desk, clasping his hands together tightly.

Hadley’s eyes bounced around the cover, the grey title reading ‘a subsequent solace’, the authors name written in a small block print, ‘hadley faraday’. “How long have you had this?” She inquired, her fingers delicately gliding over the worn edges of the pages.

Professor Armitage sighed. “A year, maybe?”

“This is probably my favorite out of everything I’ve wrote.” She murmured, turning the worn pages over the book quickly, certain paragraphs and chapters catching her attention. “What is your favorite part?”

Professor Armitage raised his eyebrows. “Favorite part?” He repeated, furrowing his eyebrows. “The entire book, of course.”

Hadley smirked. “Most people enjoyed the smut, I believe.” She turned towards the beginning of the book, the sultry lines coming off the page in a hurry.

“I’m not going to lie, I did enjoy that as well.” He crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

She chuckled, sitting down in the chair once again, and pulling her legs underneath her.

“Do you have experience, in that?” He mumbled, his eyes meeting the book rather than her sparkling gaze.

“In what? Writing smut? Sex? Or do you mean, telling men what to do?” She closed the book, her eyes meeting his.

He hesitated, knowing he asked too deep of a question.

“Don’t you think that’s a little inappropriate, Professor? Asking your student about their sex life?” She scoffed.

He licked his lips, the thought still dwelling on his mind, of her telling him exactly what to do, how to do it, and commanding him to never stop. “I guess it is, I apologize, Miss Faraday.”

Hadley stood up from the chair and walked back over to the bookshelf. “I believe the answer you’re looking for is yes, Professor.” She slid the book back into the shelf and walked back to her spot on the couch. “As you were.”

*****

Hadley stood in front of the deli counter at the market, attempting to remember the list she had made before coming to the market. Yet somehow, in all the confusion, the list was still laying on the counter in her kitchen, the action not surprising.

“Is something bothering you, Miss Faraday?”

She turned sharply towards the British accent. “Professor,” She sighed, pushing her glasses back to the bridge of her nose. “Bothering me? No.” She scoffed, her eyes trailing back to the wide array of organic meat and cheeses.

“Miss Faraday,” He warned, cocking his head to one side.

She turned back around and sighed. “Cara is gone for the week, visiting her family.”

“Ah,” He smiled at her widely. “Meaning you’re left to fend for yourself.”

“I am.” She turned towards the counter attendant and took the wrapped package in her hands. “Thank you.”

“What do you have there?” Richard inquired, pointing towards the paper wrapped package she slid into the basket.

“Salami. When I lived in Italy, I ate it all the time. It’s not as good here, but it fills the taste I have for it.”

“You’re absolutely correct, Miss Faraday. Almost everything is better in Italy, isn’t it?” He smiled at her. “I was only there for a short amount of time, on my,” He trailed off, the memories of his honeymoon flashing through his mind. “On holiday. I’ve been dying to go back.”

Hadley nodded. “I was in Burano for about six months on a writing assignment. I almost decided not to come back.”

“Burano, that’s off the coast, isn’t it?”

“It is, on an island north of Venice. It’s beautiful, and the people were lovely.”

“What were you writing, if I may ask?”

Hadley chuckled. “My novel, a subsequent solace. They invited me to come and stay while I was writing, and the inspiration that came from it was mind-blowing.”

Richard followed her into the fresh produce section, adoring the way she selected her fruits and vegetables, bringing each fruit to her nose and sniffing them softly before setting them in the basket gently. “You know, Miss Faraday, I really appreciate your help over the weekend. We were able to get so much done, I feel like I can finally breath again.”

Hadley turned towards him. “You’re welcome, Professor. I’m glad I was able to be of some assistance.”

“I have to get going, I’m afraid. The professor can’t be late to class.” He chuckled, switching his basket to his other hand nervously.

“Well, then, I’ll see you in the morning, Professor.”

*****

Richard sighed heavily as he stood at Hadley’s doorstep, anxiety weighing heavily on his mind. Should he even be here? Is this a mistake? He decided to push the demeaning thoughts to the back of his mind and knocked on the door.

The front door swung open and a gasp fell from his lips. The long violet cardigan fell at her hips, the soft grey jersey tank top and shorts were tightly clad against her body. Her long blond waves hung loosely across her chest and framed her face; her glasses magnifying the sparkles that shone throughout her eyes. _The dream._

“Professor,” She greeted him softly, her eyebrows furrowing. “What are you doing here?”

He shifted his weight between his feet. “Uh, well, Cara had called me, and wanted to make sure that you were eating,” He held up the brown paper delivery bag. “So I brought you some Chinese.”

Hadley held the door open for him. “Then please, come in.” She shut the door behind him and followed him into the kitchen. “I apologize about that. Sometimes Cara worries about me more than she should.”

“Well,” He started, setting the bag down on the island in the kitchen, “have you ate dinner yet?”

Hadley was quiet.

“See? She doesn’t worry about you too much. She knows you too well.”

She shrugged. “I just don’t like to feel like someone is taking care of me. I mean, I appreciate you for bringing me dinner,” She stammered, not wanting to make him feel bad for his actions.

“I completely understand, Miss Faraday. I don’t like to feel that way, either.” He laid his hands on the edge of the marble, gripping it tightly.

“You can stay, if you want. I was just starting a movie,” She pointed to the living room.

“I’m not sure, Miss Faraday. Is that appropriate?”

She raised her eyebrows.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t have said it like that.” He lowered his head, his voice almost at a whisper.

She reached over and grasped his forearm lightly. “It’s okay, Professor, I was just trying to be inviting. Apparently sometimes I can be quite rude, and didn’t want to seem ungrateful.”

Richard laid his hand on top of hers. “You’re not being ungrateful, Miss Faraday, believe me.” He patted her hand gently and she released the soft grip. “I just have a lot on my mind, is all.”

Hadley sorted through the bag, pulling out the warm, white boxes. “Would you like to talk about it?”

“Do you have any wine?”

She chuckled. “Of course I do. Check the other side of the island, it’s where the wine cooler is.”

He walked towards the side opposite of them and opened the door to the wine cooler.

“I have more in the spare bedroom if you can’t find what you’re looking for.”

Richard pulled a 2009 Napa Chardonnay and set it on the countertop. “Would this work?”

Hadley smiled. “Yes. It’s a favorite. The wine opener is in the drawer across from you.”

He pulled the drawer open and found the wine opener, meanwhile, Hadley broke into the carton of vegetable lo mein.

“Glasses?”

Hadley pointed to a cupboard with the chopsticks in her hand.

He grabbed two glasses from the shelf and poured himself and Hadley a glass. He grabbed a carton of sesame chicken and sat on the counter, across from Hadley. “I just have a lot on my mind. I keep feeling like everything's going to settle down and I can have a moment to catch my breath and relax,”

Hadley nodded. “Well what’s all going on in your mind?”

He shrugged and took a bite. “Well for starters I took on too many classes. But it’s something I do so I don’t have to come home alone.”

“So you don’t like being alone?”

“Sometimes I do. But others, I come home to this big house, and I’m all alone, when I just feel like I need someone to be there with me.”

Hadley dropped her eyes. “I’m afraid I can’t be too much help there. I prefer to be alone, cut off from the tragedies of this world, not wanting to deal with other peoples bullshit.”

“Have you ever been in love, Miss Faraday?”

She cleared her throat. “Everyone I’ve ever loved has left me... So you’ll understand why I have a hesitation of letting people in.”

“It’s a dangerous thing. You love someone, wholeheartedly, and then one day, they’re not there anymore. How are we supposed to just pick ourselves up and pretend like it never happened?”

“Well,” She started, taking a sip of wine. “I don’t feel like we should pretend it never happened, even though that’s the way it feels. I feel as if we need to preserve their good memory, but learn from our mistakes. Keep one foot in front of the other, stop looking back.” She scoffed. “Did you know that it took me a year to get into another vehicle after the accident? For an entire year, I never got into a car. Then it took three more years for me to actually drive again. It’s a process. And we learn, move on. It hurts like hell, but the outcome is so worth it.”

“Do you ever feel guilty?”

“I used to, all the time. Why couldn’t it have been me. The guilt used to kill me, slowly. Pleading with myself to live, to go on.”

“How did you get over it?”

She sighed. “Very slowly. I’m still not over it, but I don’t feel guilty anymore. I started writing more, immersed myself in that. That’s what great about New York City. It’s one of the biggest cities in the US, but you still feel as if you’re the loneliest person on the street.”

He nodded and took a sip of wine. “I had a wife. And one day, she just wasn’t there anymore.”

She raised her eyebrows, unsure of how to approach the subject further.

“We were living in Chesterton, teaching at Cambridge. It was late one night, and we were having this huge argument. I had been offered a tenure position at Duke University, and she didn’t want to go, but I did. I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity; we had both studied at Cambridge and were teaching there, and I didn’t want to live the rest of my life there, but she did. I wasn’t really paying attention, missed a stop sign, and was in a terrible accident. My fault, of course, if I had been paying attention, I would have seen the bloody sign, but I didn’t. She died instantly, which was good, at least I know she wasn’t in any pain.” He took another sip of wine, his eyes trailing the floor.

Hadley studied the man in front of her, her perception of the pretentious, asshole professor slowly giving way. Here was a man who was lost, found himself at fault; he didn’t know what he was doing. “Sometimes I feel as if my father is just right over my shoulder. I can feel him, you know? Hear him. And I get so excited, thinking that I’ve just woken up from a terrible nightmare, yet the reality is, this is still my nightmare. I’d like to tell you that it never goes away, but I’m five years in, and so far… no luck.”

Richard’s eyes caught Hadley’s. “You look just like her, you know. That first day in class when I saw you, I swear I thought I saw a ghost. I thought it was her, looking right at me.”

“So that’s why you hated me.”

Her words stung him tirelessly. “Hadley, I never hated you. I kept repressing all these feeling of guilt and terror, and here you were, reminding me that it was all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Professor.”

“Yes, it was, it wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me.”

Hadley shook her head, anger festering in her stomach. “It’s not your fault; it’s LIFE. It’s what happens to us as human beings. Life doesn’t give a fuck about what YOU want.” She tried to shake the tears from her eyes. “You want a mother? Here, let me send her away while you’re 9 months old. You want a father? Here, let me have this drunk driver hit your car, so after your vehicle rolls 2 times, you have to hear your father dying next to you, and you’re screaming, please don’t die, please don’t leave me. You want support? Here, let me make your grandparents HATE you and blame you for the accident that killed their only son. You want love? Here, let me dangle this perfect man in front of you and let him cheat on you and then convince you it’s your fault, who then leaves you for a different woman and a different city? Life, Professor,” She chuckled, wiping the tears from her cheeks, “is nothing but a cold hearted bitch. Everything that I’ve ever loved has been taken from me. But do I say it’s my fault? No. If I didn’t come into town that night, my father would still be here. Possibly. But you don’t know that. It’s life. No one wins, no one loses, we all just strive to survive.” She drank the rest of the wine in her glass and poured herself another.

“You’re right, Hadley, life is a bitch,” He muttered, holding his hand out for the wine bottle, which she handed him. “I can blame myself all I want, but its not going to help me get over the situation. Who knows, maybe something worse would’ve happened later on. Death always seems to have a way of conquering.”

Hadley scoffed and took another sip of wine. "Are you over her?"

"I've dated, if that's what you mean."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five years."

She raised her eyebrows at his response. _Five years, that just had to be a coincidence, right?_ "So, are you over her?"

He furrowed his brows.

"When you come home at night, do you think about her? When you masturbate, do you think about her? When you imagine yourself with someone else, is it her?" Hadley took another sip of wine, the alcohol beginning to take effect on her thoughts.

He chuckled. "Miss Faraday,"

"Oh, come on, Professor. That's just psychology. Why are people so scared to talk about sex? I don't get it." She took a bite of lo mein.

"When I come home at night, I think about having someone there with me, to talk about our day, have a nice conversation. It's not one person in particular. And you really think that I masturbate?"

She laughed. "Everyone masturbates, Professor. We all have urges, certain things that turn us on."

"When I do masturbate, I don't think about her. To be honest, I don't remember the last time I did think about her that way." He took another sip of wine, his gaze penetrating hers.

"And what does that tell you?"

He chuckled. "That I don't think about her in a sexual way."

"You can't give your heart to someone when someone else is already occupying it."

He nodded. "I feel like in order to do that, I have to forgive myself for the accident, which I've never done. And I'm not ready to do yet. Who knows, maybe I am, and I'm just scared to do it."

"Why are you scared to forgive yourself? Don't you want to move on?" She ran a hand through her hand, her fingers combing through the waves gently.

He shrugged. "Maybe. I've been on dates, had girlfriends... it just didn't seem right."

"Did you feel guilty? Like you were cheating on her?"

"The first few times I did. But now it's just... a guilt of her death rather than betrayal."

Hadley nodded and took another sip of wine.

"I find it hard to believe that you need to masturbate, Miss Faraday. Your beauty is truly astonishing, I'm surprised you don't have men lining up on your door."

"Ah, that's Cara, she has them lined up around the block. When I'm around, they usually don't see me too much. And that's not a joke about my height," she winked at him. “And let’s be honest, most of them are boring. They don’t like to be told what to do, they don’t like to hear that they’re not doing something right, they want to make all the decisions. This isn’t the 1960’s anymore, why do they feel like they need to be in control?”

“Because since we were born, men were taught that they need to protect and provide for their family and women have been taught to be catered to. Be beautiful, get married, have children, quit your job, raise your children. Why does society like to believe that’s the way it should be? In order to make a child, you have to have a male and a female, so why after it’s born, it’s only the females job to take care of it?”

“I don’t think it’s ever going to be different, Professor.”

He chuckled. “Do you want children?”

Hadley nearly choked on her wine. “No.”

“Is there a certain reason you’re so adamant, Miss Faraday?”

She sighed. “When my parents first met, my father was the dean of the history department at NYU, and my mother was a socialite. Came from a wealthy family, didn’t have to work. So when my mother got pregnant with me, she begged my father to not have me. Begged him for an abortion, for an adoption, anything, and my father was willing to tell her whatever she wanted, he just wanted her to be happy. If she didn’t want to be pregnant, why make her? But she changed her mind. After I was born, she didn’t want anything to do with me. Wouldn’t touch me, wouldn’t talk to me. It got to a point where my father had to hire a nanny to come with him to work, because he was terrified that she was going to try and kill me. She finally told him she wanted to leave, and she did. She signed over all rights, had her name removed from my birth certificate, everything. I’m terrified that’s going to happen to me, and I don’t want to bring a child into this world knowing that something like that could be in my genetics.”

Richard nodded his head. “It’s a personal choice, if only people would realize that. I have people telling me all the time, ‘you’re not getting any younger, Richard, you need to have babies while you still can’. But what does it matter how old I am? Maybe I don’t want kids? Maybe I want to live my life in peace, the way I want it, and not what society dictates.” He chuckled. “Do you mind moving this to the living room? Your counter tops are marvelous but not very comfortable.”

She laughed. “Of course.” She grabbed the boxes of Chinese and headed towards the living room. “And don’t forget the wine!”

*****

Richard lifted his arm gently from resting on Hadley’s legs, glancing at his watch. It was a little past two in the morning and he knew he needed to be getting home, because the last thing he wanted was for someone to see him at Hadley’s apartment and get the wrong idea. He rose off the couch, laying her legs on the soft cushion rather than remaining on him, was a heartbreaking task. He loved the feel of her delicate legs, his fingertips running slowly up and down her calves.

Reluctantly, he picked up the boxes of food and put them away in the kitchen, threw out the wine bottles and laid the glasses in the sink. He turned off the TV in the living room and walked back towards the couch, where he slipped his left arm underneath her knees and his right arm under her shoulders, scooping her off the couch and into his arms. He made his way to the back hallway and found the door to the upstairs masters loft, taking the small stairway up to Hadley’s area.

The room opened up into one large space, with her bed and closet on one side and an office, living area and bathroom on the other. He laid her down gently into the king size bed, yet her right hand firmly clutched the front of his t-shirt.

“Will you stay with me?” She inquired, her voice low, her sleepy eyes resting on his face.

He hesitated, her touch and request making his heart drop into his stomach. “Yes,”

She dropped her hand and scooted towards the center of the bed, resting her head into a soft feather pillow, curling up on the left side of her body. He climbed into the bed behind her, pulling her body closer to his so her back rested on his chest. He sighed heavily as he got comfortable, taking the grey and white comforter from their waist and pulled it tight around them.

His right hand landed on her bare shoulder, his fingertips massaging her soft skin in small circles, falling to her hand. She clasped his hand tightly.

“Not long,”

He brought their hands to his lips, laying a soft kiss on the back of her hand. “No,” He repeated softly in her ear, “not long.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**ten**

“Miss Faraday!” Professor Armitage’s voice brought Hadley back to the reality of the mundane Thursday morning. “Pay attention, please.”

Hadley rolled her eyes gently behind her glasses, lowering her cheek into her palm once again. It was hot, they were reviewing information for the final exam tomorrow, and all she could think about was getting back into the cool breeze of the air conditioner.

Professor Armitage gripped the podium tightly, his eyes narrowing. “Tomorrow IS the final, Miss Faraday, so I suggest that you take every piece of information that I give you to heart.”

Really? Like she didn’t already know the information? She took the black pen from her desk and clasped it tightly in her left hand, writing down the information and facts he repeated into the nearly full notebook. She knew the information, as if he were going to deny it, so why was he singling her out? Nearly everyone in this class was in their own little world.

“Work on your study guides. Any questions, let me know, please. Remember, these study guides are the key to passing your final.” Professor Armitage stepped away from the podium and sat at the desk in the front of the classroom.

About 10 minutes later, she looked over at her MacBook, the imessage loud and clear: _“will you at least act like you want to be here?”_

She sighed, throwing the pen into the gutter of the textbook.

_“and stop that sighing.”_

She narrowed her eyes as she responded hastily. _“but it’s hot. and i’m tired. and i’m starving.”_   She took the pen back in her hand and responded to a question on the study guide.

_“are you available tomorrow morning to help me?”_

_“no. i have a date.”_

Immediately, Professor Armitage cut his eyes towards her.

She raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. _“you really need to learn how to read sarcasm.”_

_“invent a font for it, trust me, it will be easier on both of us.”_

_“how can i invent a sarcasm font when you’re making me do this stupid study guide?”_

_“it’s not stupid, i worked hard on it.”_

_“of course you did.”_

She moved her fingers off the keyboard as a student made her way to his desk, asking for help on a question. She leaned over the side of the desk, the deep v-neck of her tank top showing off the small cleavage she so desperately wanted to be noticed.

Hadley scoffed. _‘I wish I could get away with not wearing a bra.’_ She rolled her eyes at the obvious flirtation, a drop of jealousy poisoning her mind. She tried to kid herself, she didn’t have feelings for this man, how could she - he was her professor. Her uptight, pompous, stern, beautiful professor...

She continued working on the study guide, and for once in her life, was enjoying the British accent at the front of the classroom. Usually, it resembled nails on a chalkboard, but today, was quite soothing.

_"so you're starving, hmm?"_

Hadley smiled. _"very."_ She concentrated on his reaction, enjoying the sweet simplicity of his face.

_"then why don't we grab some lunch?"_

She sighed, regret filling her stomach. _"is that appropriate?"_

He nodded his head slightly, bringing his piercing gaze back to the screen. _"i guess not, i'm sorry, miss faraday."_

_"but i really want to."_

He smiled at her sudden honesty. _"as do i."_ His heart fell.

She rested her chin in her open palm, drumming her fingers atop her cheek. She wanted to spend more time with him, and at that moment, nothing else really mattered. _"i thought about placing an order for tila's tonight."_

_"i heard their chiles rellenos are heavenly."_

_"maybe i'll order some, then."_

_"and the carne asada. with shrimp."_ He winked at her, closing his laptop and leaning back in his chair. His gaze remained on Hadley for as long as he could get away with it, the pure joy on her face exciting him in a way he hadn't yet felt.

*****

"So, Hadley, tell me something." Richard leaned back onto the couch in her apartment and set down the glass of wine in his hand.

Hadley raised her eyebrows, encouraging him to continue, and took a sip of wine.

"Are you attending the Pollard's event tomorrow night?"

She turned towards him and nodded her head slowly. "Yes, I'll be there."

"Good. I would have hated to hang around professors all night." His blue eyes sparkled into hers, his smile widened with each passing second.

"And what makes you think I want to?" She took another sip of wine, her eyebrows raised.

"Touché," He trailed his hand from his knee to his thigh. “I mean, you don’t have to,”

She scoffed. “Oh, stop, Professor. I was just joking. Cara’s bringing a date, and Jack, of course, will be there with Ethan, so I’ll kind of be ...alone,”

“I find that hard to believe, Miss Faraday.”

“You’ve told me that before, Professor.” She smiled at him softly.

“So what if we went together? Nothing serious, or romantic, as we hardly know each other… it just might be nice to spend some quality time with you.” He glanced over at her, his right hand drumming his fingertips into his thigh.

“And you want to spend quality time with me?” She inquired, furrowing her brows, the thought overwhelming.

His heart fell for the second time in one day. “Hadley, why wouldn’t I want to spend quality time with you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, I just,” She trailed off, biting her bottom lip nervously.

“Miss Faraday. There’s no one else in this world that I want to spend more time with than you right now, so please, allow me to pick you up tomorrow evening.”

She hesitated, debating with his words. Should she, shouldn't she? She threw all of her concerns out of her head and smiled at him. “Then how can I refuse?”

*****

Richard laid his head back on the arm of the couch in his office, his eyes growing too heavy to remain open. He heard the door to his office open slowly and close behind Hadley, the soothing waves of her voice bringing his serenity to an all time high.

“Professor,” She chuckled, setting down her bag and walking slowly towards the couch. He felt the couch grow heavy as she brought herself down to him, her knees on either side of his torso, her hands planted firmly on his chest.

His hands fell to her hips, gripping them tightly. She leaned down and placed her lips on his, his grip tightening around her waist. He moaned softly, his fingers finding the hem of her shirt and brought them gradually to her chest. His fingers found the satin material of her bra, his thumb caressing the supple skin at the top of her breast.

Richard woke with a start, his heart pounding, his breathing heavy. He glanced at his watch, 9:30 already. He thought if he could just get a few minutes rest, he might be easier to deal with this morning, for Hadley’s sake. He brought his legs to the floor and sat up off the couch, shuffling the papers around to make them easier to find.

He heard a loud thump on the door, and went to investigate. He slid the lock open and pulled the door towards him. “Hadley,” He chuckled, “what did you do?”

She was bent over at the waist, her left hand pressed to the side of her forehead. “I thought I saw your door open, but obviously, it wasn’t,”

He laughed to himself, comparing his dream to the reality of Hadley; and the truth was, the reality was so much better.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems as if these two have taken forever to come together, so I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**eleven**

Richard stood at the doorstep of Hadley’s apartment, his right hand resting nervously on the front of his grey waistcoat. He sighed deeply in an attempt to regain control of his breathing, the anxiety flowing through his body and resting in a knot deeply embedded in his stomach. He knocked on the gray front door lightly and adjusted the purple tie around his neck, another sigh being forced by his lips.

"Richard, it's good to see you," Cara opened the door widely, greeting him with an enthusiasm he had yet to see.

"Cara, it's good to see you as well. You look gorgeous." He stepped inside the apartment, glancing around the living room and kitchen, his mind solely on Hadley.

"Thanks! You don't look so bad yourself. Hadley's upstairs if you want to go see her. She had a few emails come through that she wanted to reply to real quick."

Richard shrugged and shook his head slowly. "I don't want to interrupt her, I know she's busy."

"Nonsense! Go ahead. We're waiting for my date and Jack to arrive, nothing fun going on down here." She winked at him and stood next to Ethan, leaning up against the marble counter of the kitchen island.

"Alright," Richard walked towards the back hallway and slowly made his way up the narrow staircase.

"Cara, I'm almost done, I swear," Hadley's voice floated softly towards him as she heard the footsteps grow gradually towards her.

Richard stopped at the top of the staircase and smiled. "I'm afraid you're going to have to settle for myself, Miss Faraday."

Hadley turned in the leather office chair and smiled at him. "Well, hello Professor. You're early." Her beauty had completely astonished him to a point where he failed to produce the words necessary, as he didn't even realize he was holding his breath. She stood from the chair, the skirt of her full length peach gown was full of layers and fell past her feet, the bodice was adorned with the same peach colored beads and were hand sewn into a paisley pattern. The sweetheart neckline showed off her cleavage slightly, yet overall the modesty prevailed.

"You look absolutely stunning. I don't believe I'll be able to tear my eyes off of you all night," His gaze remained on her, walking towards him.

"You're too kind, Professor."

"Please, Hadley, call me Richard."

She smiled softly. "You've only called me Hadley a handful of times."

"Do you prefer Hadley or Miss Faraday?" He brushed a strand of her blond curls from her face and brought it behind her shoulder, allowing his woody musk to overtake her senses, the lemon bergamot wooded scent nearly brought her to her knees. His hand fell to her shoulder, as if to remind her that he asked her a question.

“Uh,” She trailed off, furrowing her brows. No man had ever made her feel this lightheaded. “either is fine.”

“Is it just me, or do you still need to put on shoes?” He smirked at her, trailing his hand to her elbow.

She rolled her eyes. “I do, thank you.”

He chuckled and followed her to the closet, where she stood in front of a bookshelf full of shoes. “For someone who prefers sneakers, you sure own a lot of heels.” He pulled a pair of nude Christian Louboutin platform heels from the top shelf.

Hadley shrugged. “I never said I didn’t enjoy them. And why those? Can’t I wear a pair of converse’s? No one is going to see them, you know.”

Richard glanced at the tufted velvet ottoman across from him. “Sit,”

She raised her eyebrows and sat on the ottoman gently.

He kneeled in front of her and lifted the ruffle hem of her dress to her knees, taking her right foot in his hands. “Would you like to wear your converse’s? I figured these would be a perfect fit for you,”

She sighed. “You don’t have a foot fetish, do you?”

“No, I don’t, why do you ask?” He laughed and slipped one shoe onto her foot and took her left foot, doing the same.

“Because not many men want to put shoes on a woman, that’s all.”

He dropped the hem of her dress and chuckled. “I know how clumsy you are, Miss Faraday.” He reached up to the light bruise on her forehead. “How does that feel today?”

She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not very nice, Richard.”

His eyes grew soft and he smiled at her.

“What?”

“I just really enjoyed the sound of my name on your lips, is all.” He stood up and held his hands out to her. “Come, let’s get going.”

Hadley followed him down the stairs.

“You’re not going to break your neck walking downstairs in heels, are you?”

She scoffed. “Shall I take them off and beat you with them? Oh, wait, you’d probably enjoy that too much.”

He turned around sharply towards her, that last comment dragging in his skin.

She smirked and narrowed her eyes. “Yes?”

“Are you going to be this sassy all night?” He turned back around and headed towards the kitchen.

“Just shut up and enjoy it.”

As they walked into the kitchen, Cara handed Richard Hadley’s phone. “Do you mind?” He took the iPhone gently, rolling it over in his hands. “She doesn’t like to carry a bag.” Cara remarked, noticing his hesitation.

“Alright,” He replied, opening his gray suit coat and sliding it into the pocket next to his. “And why is that?” He turned towards Hadley.

“I… misplace things,” She trailed off. “So it’s just easier if people carry them for me.” She winked at him.

He shook his head. “So, you’re a princess now?”

“I’ve always been a princess, get it right, Professor.” Hadley stood beside him. “It’s just easier, okay? I forget where I put it, my mind goes blank, and I just,”

He chuckled, laying his hand on her lower back. “It’s alright, Hadley. Now, let’s get going, shall we?”

They walked out to the garage and stopped at Richard’s black Audi A7, where he opened the passenger side door for her and she slid into the leather seat gently. There was definitely a tension that surrounded them, and it wasn’t so much as negative tension, but almost… a first date anxiety. But this wasn’t a date, was it?

_‘Oh, God,’_ She thought helplessly, watching as he slid into the seat next to her. _‘Is this a date?’_

“Is something the matter, Hadley?”

“Uh,” She mumbled, shaking her head. “No, no problem.”

He pressed the start button on the car and shook his head. “I know something is running through your mind.”

“And how do you know that?” She inquired, turning in her seat to face him.

“Your brows are furrowed,” He replied, touching his fingertip to her eyebrows gently and ran it down the front of her nose.

Her heart raced at the electric jolt of energy that surged through his touch. “Is this a date?” She inquired nervously, twirling a curl around her finger tightly.

“Do you want it to be a date?” He brought his hand to the gear stick and put the car in reverse.

“I don’t know,” She replied, watching the concentration form on his face. “You’re really hard to read, you know?”

He chuckled. “So are you.” He pulled out of the garage and stopped at the gate. “Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to just be honest, Hadley. Do you want me to kiss you tonight?”

She bit her bottom lip. “Have you thought about kissing me tonight?”

“I’ve thought about kissing you for many nights, Miss Faraday.”

She leaned her head back on the headrest. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I’ve thought about it, dreamt about it.”

Hadley’s eyes sparkled at the mention of her in his dreams. “You’ve dreamt about me?”

Richard chuckled. “Yes, I have.”

“Tell me.”

He shook his head firmly.

“Please,” She pleaded, taking her hand and laying it on his bicep, squeezing it softly.

He looked over at her and smiled. “The first one I had about you was the night after our first class. We were in this gigantic, old library in London, curled up in a corner. Your head was on my shoulder, and you put the book in your hands down on your lap and looked over at me. Instead of waiting for me to kiss you, you placed your hands on my cheeks and pulled me towards you. The kiss was maybe five seconds but it felt like an eternity.”

“That sounds like me.” She remarked, dropping her hand from his arm.

“It scared the shit out of me, to be honest. You were my student, Hadley, and I never felt that way about a student before.”

“Well, technically, I’m an author, not a student.”

He chuckled. “Yes, I’m aware. But you were my student.”

“Yes,” She responded, nodding her head. “I was your student.”

He looked over at her and smiled. “But not anymore.”

*****

Richard took off his suit coat and laid it gently on the seat beside him. He began rolling up the sleeves on his white button up, the correct way, the dreaded August heat already making him uncomfortable.

He turned in his seat next to Hadley, whose eyes, although hid by her tortoise shell wayfarer’s, were already on him. “Yes, Hadley?”

“I like the purple.” She stated, nodding her head towards his tie.

“It’s lilac,”

“Oh,” She mimicked, rolling her eyes. “lilac.”

He chuckled and laid his right arm across the back of the white wooden chair she was sitting in.

“I was just trying to pay you a compliment,” She muttered, folding her arms across her chest.

He wrapped his hand around her shoulder and pulled her towards him. “Thank you, Hadley,” He responded, his lips hovering over her ear. “So how long do these things last? Vow renewals?”

The mere whisper of his deepening voice brought a stillness to her heart. “Well, the ceremony is probably around 20 minutes, not too long.” She adjusted her arms across her chest, loosening them to her lap.

“And then we get to go inside for cocktails and dinner?”

She chuckled. “Yes. And then we get to go inside for cocktails and dinner. Although it might be awhile for dinner...”

He groaned. "But I'm starving, I forgot to eat lunch!"

She turned towards him sharply. "Who forgets to eat lunch!"

"I was busy, preparing your final grade, to be exact." He raised his eyebrows and smirked at her.

"Oh!" She laid her hand on his thigh, not realizing the effect it was taking on him. "What did I make?"

"Well, uh," He shifted in his seat, his eyes darting to her hand, her palm laying gently above his knee. "You ended up with a B."

"I made a B?" She repeated slowly, drawing her hand from his leg. How could she, a dean's list scholar, make a B?

A smile began to tug on the corners of his lips. "I'm just kidding, Hadley. Of course you made an A, you had a perfect score."

She slapped his thigh and pointed her index finger at him harshly. "Don't ever joke around about that again."

He chuckled. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it meant that much to you. But hopefully, you won't be taking any more of classes, will you?"

She smiled at him. "Do you want me to take more of your classes?"

"Not really, no." His eyes were drawn to hers, and he let his arm fall from the back of her chair, bringing his hand to her lap. "If that's alright with you, I mean." He gently clasped his hand in hers, squeezing it softly.

She threaded her fingers through his. "Then I guess I won't be taking anymore of your classes, Professor."

"Does that mean you'll stop calling me Professor?"

She chuckled. "Nope."

*****

“Congratulations, Dean. 25 years, an amazing feat.” Richard complimented Dean Pollard as the silver haired man stood next to him.

“Please, Richard, call me John, we’re out of school.” He sat down next to Richard at the empty table. “And thank you. Twenty five years, I can’t believe it. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Watching Hadley and Ethan run around on the grass at our feet. Look at them, they were 5, and now, here we are.”

Richard smiled softly as he watched Ethan and Hadley at a table across the room. “I would like to talk to you about something, if I may,”

“As long as it doesn’t involve your classes, yes. You should be celebrating, you’re done for a week!” John laid a hand on his shoulder, patting him softly.

Richard chuckled. “No, no.” He glanced back over to Hadley. “I’m interested in someone.”

John turned his head towards him. “Oh, is that so?”

“Yes. She was a student,” He trailed off.

“Ah,” John nodded his head. “Is she a student now?”

“No,” Richard shook his head. “She’s not going to take anymore Psychology classes.”

“What’s her major?” John inquired, running his fingertips across his jawline.

Richard shrugged. “Doesn’t have one,”

“Because, let me guess, she has an undergrad and masters degree from NYU?” He pointed towards Hadley.

“Yes,”

“And are you asking me because it’s Hadley or because it’s a former student?”

Richard sighed. “Both.”

“Well, Richard,” John started, sighing softly. “I think we both know Hadley isn’t a psychology type of person, and the only reason she takes these classes is for her writing, which I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You’re tenured, you follow the rules, she’s technically not a student.” He took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. “Now, I promised Hadley and her father that I would always take care of her, and I will. So I’m trusting you on this, Richard. You know I would do anything for that girl, even if it means burying you in the backyard.”

Richard chuckled.

“All I can say is, you have my blessing, for both reasons.” He stood up and Richard followed, shaking his hand. “Now, if I don’t get a chance to talk to you again, I’ll see you next week.”

Richard nodded and returned the sentiment, heading over to Hadley’s table where he sat down beside her. “Would you like something else to drink?” He inquired, noticing her empty glass.

“No,” She shook her head, “I think I’m done for the night.”

He laughed at her slow and slurred speech. “You’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not drunk, I’ve just drank enough.” She ran her hands through her hair, twisting the curls into a braid that hung down her shoulder. Cara handed her a small clear elastic to hold the braid and smiled at her.

"Are you going to be okay if I leave you with Richard?"

Hadley chuckled. "I'll be fine, Cara."

“Well, alright then. Here,” Cara took her keys from her bag and gave them to Richard. “I’m leaving with my date, and I probably won’t be back until tomorrow morning. Someone needs to get her home safely.”

Richard nodded and slipped the keys into his pocket. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.”

Cara smiled. “Thank you.” She kissed Hadley on the cheek and left with her date, leaving Hadley and Richard alone at the large table after Jack and Ethan decided to take an evening stroll in the gardens.

"So, Miss Faraday, now that we're alone..." He trailed off, catching her gaze with his own.

"Yes," She smiled and nodded her head slowly, "that we are."

"Would you be interested in seeing me again?" He took her hand from the table and pressed it to his lips.

Hadley's eyes grew soft as she studied his face intently. For once in her life, she didn't need this situation to be explained to her in vivid, emotional detail. She knew what he was asking and how difficult it was for him to do so. "Yes. Please."

*****

By the time they arrived back at Hadley's apartment, both Hadley and Richard were exhausted. “I think I should go change.” She yawned, making her way down the hallway after plugging in her phone in the kitchen. “Richard,” She called out, turning around to face him. “Aren’t you coming?”

He stood in the kitchen, watching her curls fall down her shoulders as she undid the braid in her hair. The beauty that encompassed her as she stood solely in the hallway almost brought him to his knees. At that moment, he ached to touch her, kiss her, hold her in his arms and never let her go. He followed her down the hallway and up to her loft, where the only light was the moonlight that shone through the floor to ceiling windows and the numerous skylights on the roof.

Hadley stopped in front of her closet door and turned towards him, coming up the stairs. “Will you unzip me?” She pointed to the back of her dress.

Richard walked over behind her and brushed her curls over her shoulder, allowing the smooth, supple skin of her upper back to be revealed. His right hand took hold of the zipper pull and his left held on to the top of the dress tightly. His right hand fell as it reached the end of the zipper and landed on her hip, his fingertips caressing the soft chiffon material that draped her lower body. Finally, he let the dress fall to the floor in a pool around her ankles.

The peach and ivory corset and matching satin underwear adorned her torso perfectly, his eyes growing wide at the provocative shape of her body she tried so desperately to hide. His fingertips brushed along the soft material slowly, tracing over the seams and boning.

She turned and faced him. “Thank you, Richard,” She took in a deep breath as his fingertips reached her waist, even through the satin material she still felt the electricity running from his fingertips.

“You’re welcome, Hadley.” He laid his other hand on her waist, pulling her close.

She took ahold of his tie tightly and pulled his face towards her. “Do you mind, Professor?”

He smiled. “Please.”

The magnetic draw was instant between the two. She brought her lips to his, drawing a deep breath from her lungs as he kissed her softly. His hands trailed from her waist, up her chest, and finally landed on either side of her face, cradling it gently.

A moan escaped from his chest as she bit his bottom lip and partied his lips with her tongue to meet his. He pulled back slowly and she gave him one last quick kiss.

“Oh Hadley,”

She smiled at him.

“That was perfect,” He murmured, his lips tight with hers, kissing her again. “Just don’t stop.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**twelve**

_'Have dinner with me tonight.'_

Hadley stared at the imessage for what seemed like an eternity, doubt slowly creeping into her mind. Was she really ready for this next step? She enjoyed spending time with Richard, and there was something that definitely drew her towards him, but was he right for her?

_'Please.'_

She smiled at his polite persistence and couldn't help but to think, 'what would it hurt?', and in all honesty... maybe she was ready to get back out into the dating world. _'Well since you said please…'_

Cara walked into Hadley’s office slowly and set a cup of tea down beside her. "Thought you might need a break,"

"Ah, thanks! Just working over some details for the new book. Apparently my editor and book agent are arguing about some revisions." Hadley took the cup of tea and brought it to her lips, deeply inhaling the lemon aroma.

_'What are you doing at this very moment, Miss Faraday?'_

She smiled. 'S _peaking with Cara. She brought me a cup of tea, how thoughtful.'_

"What's going on between you two?" Cara pointed to the message on the screen, her brows furrowing in confusion. She had never expected Hadley to actually go for Richard, and now that things were beginning to settle down, she had to admit she was a bit intrigued as to why this was different.

Hadley shrugged. "We're just..."

"Please don't say just friends," Cara chuckled. "I know that you kissed him Saturday night AND that he stayed here that same night."

"Yes, I kissed him, but that was it. We laid down, snuggled, and watched a movie. It was perfect." Hadley smiled softly, her eyes trailing back to the screen, unaware of Cara's displeasing attitude. 

_'Splendid. I hope I'm not interrupting.'_

_'If you were, I would have told you.'_

_'So shall I pick you up for dinner? Say 6:45? I was thinking Hugo's if you're in the mood for some Mexican cuisine.'_

_'I’ll never say no to tequila.'_

_'Or me.'_

_'Oh, I can definitely say no to you, Professor…'_

"So, how are you feeling about this whole Richard thing, anyways? I know it must be difficult for you, getting back into the dating scene." Cara leaned up against the desk beside her, catching her gaze.

Hadley shrugged, the uncomfortable nature of the question bewildering her inner thoughts. "It feels fine so far,"

"Even after he dated me?"

She cut her eyes sharply toward the brunette. "What does that even matter? You went on like two dates with him and that was it."

Cara scoffed and shook her head lightly. "That you know about." She mumbled, quickly adding, "I just mean, you didn't come to me and make sure that it was okay to date him, you know, after I did."

Hadley turned her eyes back to the screen, the seed of doubt returning from earlier. "I didn't know I needed your permission."

She rolled her eyes and made her way towards the stair case slowly. "Well, a heads up would have been nice."

"Do you still like him or something?" _Surely..._

"No! Why would I? Have you even looked at Micah, I mean, he's gorgeous." Cara planted her hand on her hip, glaring down at Hadley, who was completely bewildered.

"You're right, Cara. Why would you?" She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the computer, attempting to push the conversation away from her.

"That's not what I meant Hadley," Cara sighed exasperatedly, dropping her arms to her sides. "You know I want you to have a good time, it’s just, I don’t know. Don’t worry about it.” She turned on her heels and disappeared from the loft before another word could be said.

*****

Richard's gaze remained solely on Hadley as she sat across from him at the small, candlelit table. "Hadley, you seem quiet tonight," He studied her face intently, knowing that something pertinent was on her mind, yet didn't feel comfortable enough to share with him quite yet.

"I have days where sometimes, I just prefer the quiet." She smiled over at him and gently laid her hands in her lap.

"Is it your company?" He brought the glass of wine to his lips, studying her soft features and light smile.

She chuckled. "No," Her sparkling gaze continued to penetrate his. "Not at all."

He sighed, knowing that what would come off his lips next would probably be a hindrance in their newly forming relationship. "Is it something Cara said?"

She tilted her head to the side and blinked heavily. "I hate it when you do that, you know,"

"I'm sorry, Hadley." He took a sip of wine and continued his gaze. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed, her gaze leaving his and resting on her fidgeting fingers in her lap. "I don't know what's going on with her, to be honest."

Richard nodded slowly, setting his glass of wine down onto the table. "Was she upset that you and I were going out tonight?"

"Now that you say that, I believe so. It was odd, the way she was acting." She took a sip of the Jack and coke in front of her. "Which she's never done before, she's always been so pushy about getting me out on dates."

"Is she jealous? That you're not spending all of your time with her now?"

Hadley shrugged. "I don't think so; she's out all the time with guys anyways, so what does that matter?"

"Because it's you. You're the one going out into the world, enjoying it for yourself." Richard leaned back in his chair and took another sip of wine.

She was quiet for a few seconds before continuing their conversation, the question on the tip of her tongue holding her back. Not for nervousness or anger, but for the reality of the truth - which she didn't want to hear. "How many times did you go out with Cara?"

He strained to hear her inquiry, as her voice was so low and soft, he could barely hear her over the other patrons in the restaurant. He raised his eyebrows in an effort to help him think quickly, a small sigh escaping his lips. "I think I took her out twice; she came to my house once; and she came to my office once."

"It doesn't make sense,"

He shook his head. "I swear, Hadley, that's all that I ever saw her,"

"No," Hadley chuckled. "She made a comment earlier, insinuating that your relationship had more, um, meaning..."

"Well, it didn't." He stared at her again, concentrating on her demeanor. "If you don't mind, Miss Faraday, I'd rather save a conversation about Cara for a time other than on our first date. Unless the situation is continuing to be bothersome for you?"

She smiled. "But I believe that you spoke about me quite often while on your dates with Cara."

"Because, although I didn't know it at the time, it was you who I wanted."

"Is that so?"

He smiled. "Absolutely. Now tell me something about yourself, Hadley. Something I don't know."

She hesitated for a moment, debating on opening herself up to a man she barely knew. What was the point of opening herself up to a man when all he was going to do was leave?

"I know you don't enjoy speaking about yourself, Miss Faraday, but that's what two people do while enjoying themselves on a date." He smiled warmly at her, his eyes softening to her gaze.

"I'm sorry, I," She began, taking a large sip of Jack and coke. "I've always been a quiet person. I keep to myself, I don't like to get involved in other peoples business. No one, honestly, has really taken the time to sit down with me and attempted to get to know who I really am."

"Well I'm here now, Hadley, and I'm all ears."

*****

Richard laid down on the leather chaise in his study with a sigh. After a few full days of finally getting the summer grades in the computer system and meetings regarding his fall semester schedule, he was exhausted. He reached into the front pocket of his trousers and pulled out the vibrating cell phone.

"Good evening, Hadley."

"Richard," She sighed heavily.

"Are you alright?"

"I've just had a rough day,"

"Would you like to talk about it?"

She cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, actually, if you don't mind..."

"Why don't you pack a bag? Stay with me tonight, I'd enjoy the company."

"Then I'll be there shortly."

He put the phone back in his pocket and picked up the glass of wine from the table beside the chaise, quickly drinking the last few drops of dark red nectar. He took the empty glass to the kitchen and laid it in the sink, anticipating another glass after Hadley arrived. He walked through the dark house quickly, making sure nothing was out of place before laying back down on the lounge in his study.

Hadley opened the front door to his house quietly and stepped inside, laying her Keepall and messenger bag on the crisp leather couch. She slipped the leather sandals off her feet and noticed his silhouette on the chaise lounge, making her way into the study.

Slowly, she crawled on top of him, resting her head on his chest and her body on his. He stirred silently and wrapped his arms around her.

"What a pleasant surprise," He murmured, laying his lips on the top of her head.

"Well you did offer for me to stay, if I'm not mistaken."

He chuckled. "Oh I'm not mistaken, Miss Faraday."

She closed her eyes and smiled, clenching the front of his shirt tightly.

"What's wrong, Hadley?"

She sighed. "Can we just stay like this for a few minutes?"

"Please."

A few minutes later, after she was able to relax and gain composure, Hadley sat up from the lounge. "I need to tell you something."

"Oh?" He followed her with his eyes as she stood from the lounge and walked towards his bookshelf.

"Yeah. I don't want you to feel as if I'm lying to you, or trying to hide something from you." She ran her fingers along the spines of the books in front of her, pulling out her own novel, a subsequent solace and Kate Carlyle's the silent affairs.

"Alright," He began to walk towards her.

Hadley flipped to a certain page in both novels. "I admit, I haven't been completely honest with you, but it was because I didn't know if I could trust you or not."

He leaned up against the bookshelf in front of her. "It's alright. You can trust me, Hadley."

She handed him the silent affairs. "Read this paragraph," She pointed to the third paragraph.

He took the book in his hands and read it, recognizing the fluid notes of the characters scenario.

"And this one," She took the novel from him and handed him a subsequent solace, pointing to the third paragraph. She took the silent affairs in her hand and traced the worn hardback edges with her fingertips, remembering the time in which she had the idea for the fictional mystery.

Richard took the book from her and sat back down on the lounge, both books open on his lap. "These are eerily similar," He murmured, furrowing his eyebrows tightly.

She nodded, crossing her arms against her chest. "They are," She leaned up against the wooden bookshelf, watching his emotions unfold on his face. "I write under a pen name as well,"

"Is that so?" He replied, not taking his eyes from the books.

She chuckled. "Yep."

His fingertips stopped underlining the sentence of the novel, his gaze finally turning back to her. "You write under a pen name," He repeated.

She nodded her head.

He closed the books and sat them next to him. "Are you going to tell me the pen name you write under?"

She began walking towards him, a smiled on her lips. "I thought you would have figured it out by now, Professor," She straddled him on the lounge, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Oh, Miss Faraday, you are full of surprises tonight aren't you? Or, do you prefer Miss Carlyle?" He smirked up at her, his blue eyes sparkling into hers.

"No, I prefer Hadley," Her lips crashed onto his, her hands gripping the nape of his neck tightly.

“You think you’re so sly, don’t you,” He pulled away from her, his hands gripping her waist.

She shrugged. “Oh, I know I am. I fooled you, didn’t I?”

He shook his head. “Yes, yes you did. Now tell me, what’s wrong?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “They want me to write this book, my new one, under Kate Carlyle. My book agent said that the demographics would perceive it better than under my own name, since Kate Carlyle is so poised and respected.”

“And how do you feel about that?” He inquired, his hands tightening around her waist.

“I don’t know. I worked hard on it, but at the same time, I work hard on all my other books as well. I don’t know why I’m taking this to heart, but it’s as if they’re telling me I’m not as good as my pen name, which is ludicrous, we’re the same person!”

“Have you talked to them about how you’re feeling?”

She shrugged. “They want to meet with me, so we’re going up over the weekend.”

“To New York City?”

“Yes,” Her hands trailed to his chest, where she rested them gently. “Have you ever been before?”

He shook his head, his blue eyes sparkling into hers. “No, I haven’t,”

She furrowed her eyebrows together tightly. “Would you like to come with us?”

“You’d want me to come with you?”

She was appalled that he thought she wouldn’t want him there. “I’m asking you, aren’t I?” _Maybe that was too brash, Hadley._

His eyes trailed down to the floor, away from her penetrating gaze. “I don’t know, Hadley,”

Her eyes narrowed as the confusion spread to her brain, which led to the negative thoughts. _He doesn’t want to go with you, Hadley. He doesn’t want to spend time with you. This is too fast, what are you thinking? Slow it down._

“You don’t have to, you know. It was just a stupid thought. You had never been there and all, maybe some other time.”

“Yeah,” He cleared his throat, meeting her gaze once again. “Maybe another time, there’s just a lot going on right now.”

She smiled at him softly, dropping her hands to her thighs. “It’s okay. It was a silly thought anyways.”

He kissed her softly. “Let’s go get ready for bed, shall we?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been beta'd, so please excuse any errors. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**thirteen**

"Human nature," Hadley scoffed, shaking her head slowly, her eyes skimming over the top of her glasses. "It's a funny thing, isn't it?" She continued to watch silently as people rushed throughout the Austin airport, traveling to their corresponding gates and baggage claim, unaware of their classic movements and predictable behavior.

Jack leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder softly. "Where do you think they're going?"

She chuckled as her eyes studied the young couple, obviously in love and enamored with only each other. "Atlanta. To visit her parents and introduce them to her newest conquest. 'Mom and Dad, here's Jonah, I'm in love with him, and we're going to elope in Vegas'."

"What about them?" He nodded towards an older couple walking towards them, decked out in tall cowboy hats and elaborate boots. "Mmm. Oil money. Spending an elaborate weekend in Oklahoma City showing off their wealth with excessive gambling and cheap costume jewelry."

"You're too good at this, Hadley." Jack shook his head and crossed his arms across his chest, chuckling to himself softly.

"I'm a writer, creativity comes natural." She shrugged her shoulders lightly and smirked, her eyes continuing to maneuver through the crowds of people shoving their way around the airport impatiently. People always intrigued her - the way they moved with no regard to others; only paying attention to themselves; acting as if they were better than everyone they had the confidence to look directly in the eye.

The iPhone chimed in the leather messenger bag beside her, jarring her from her thoughts and reluctantly, she pulled it out with a sigh.

_"I'm sorry."_

She furrowed her brows tightly, attempting to figure out as to why Richard would be apologizing to her.  _"For what?"_

Richard sighed at the small table in the coffee house, bringing the laptop closer towards his hands. _"For not going with you to New York."_

She smiled softly. _"It's okay, Richard. I may not understand your hesitation, but that doesn't mean I'm mad at you for following your heart."_

_"It's just... my wife and I always talked about going there together, and for some reason, it was difficult for me to imagine going without her."_

_"I worry, Richard."_

_"Please don't, Hadley. I can see, absolutely, why you would be worried, but I don't want to lose you."_

She sighed heavily, trailing her eyes to the window beside her, watching as planes took off down the runway and flew up high into the bright blue Texas sky. _"I just don't want to feel as if I'll never be good enough for you."_

_"You are such a wonderful, intelligent human being, Hadley, and I would be ever so lucky to have you in my life. If anything, I don't deserve you."_

_"Look, Richard. I like you, and I like being with you, and I like where this is going. But if you feel as if you cannot handle this, or aren't ready for this, then you have to tell me now."_

Richard drummed his fingertips on the table quietly and took a sip of coffee, his mind wreaking havoc on his heart. _Should he? Is he ready for this? It's been five years, Richard. "I'm ready for this, Hadley. I may need a little help... but I want you. I want to be with you."_

She smiled. _"Then I guess I'll just need to take your word on that, Professor."_

"Come on, Had. They're pre-boarding." Jack grabbed his backpack from the seat next to him and nudged her lightly on the shoulder.

"Alright, alright," She stood up and swung her messenger bag across her torso, taking her ticket out of the bag.

_"On our way to New York. Would you like me to call when I get there?"_

_"Please. Have a safe flight, Hadley."_

Jack snatched the iPhone out of her hands quickly. "This..." He turned the phone off and stuck it in her bag. "Needs to be off. We need to have some Hadley and Jack time on this flight, alright?"

Hadley groaned. "Alright, I was actually having a conversation, but never mind."

"With your professor?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, ensuing a chuckle from Hadley.

"Yes, with my professor." She handed her ticket to the stewardess at the gate and waited for Jack to do the same.

"So did he explain his reasoning?"

She nodded her head slowly as they made their way onto the plane. "It's... complicated, I guess."

"Complicated? How?" Jack stored his bag in the overhead compartment and did the same for Hadley's.

"He's trying to get over his ex-wife, so I guess it's not that complicated, just..." She sat down in the window seat and pulled her legs underneath her in an attempt to get more comfortable.

Jack sat next to her and gave her the time she needed to feel comfortable enough to continue.

“I just feel like I’m pushing myself on him. Like he doesn't want me all the time. I’ll say something, or do something, like when I offered for him to come with us… and he’ll get really quiet and just politely decline.”

Jack sighed sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Hadley. I know it’s been five years since he lost his wife, but there’s probably some pent up frustration there that he hasn't yet dealt with and needs to.”

She looked out the window of the plane and pulled the shade down hastily. “So, what? I’m the one that made him realize he has to deal with his feelings? I don’t get it.”

“Oh, honey. Like I understand men? I really hope you’re not asking for my advice,” He chuckled and waved his hand, gathering the attention of the first class flight attendant. “We’re going to need two tequilas, please. With pineapple juice.”

Hadley laughed. “Really? This is how we’re getting this trip started?”

“Well, it’s just going to be us, so why not have a good time while we still can?”

“I’m still upset by that.” Hadley scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah. Who tells their employer, ‘sorry, I can’t go with you on a business trip, my boyfriend won’t let me’. Really? I hope you’re not paying her for this.”

“Of course not! I’m beginning to wonder what I pay her for anyways. I’m having to do all of the work around here, and it’s not like I’m trying to complain, but come on! This is your job, I’m not paying you to sit around on your ass and give me attitude about who I choose to date.” She laid the tray table down for the flight attendant, who sat the the small bottle of tequila and the glass of pineapple juice on the table firmly. “Thank you,” She smiled up at the attendant.

“You know, you could hire a maid, who cooks for you, for a lot cheaper.” He looked at her hesitantly, knowing this conversation wasn't what she wanted to have.

“Maybe.” She opened the bottle of tequila. “But I don’t want to talk about that now.”

Jack smiled at her. “Alright. Let’s just have a good time, Had.”

*****

Richard brought the cup of coffee to his lips slowly, enjoying the bold aroma steaming from the large cup. He sat it back down and continued working on the syllabus in front of him, his fingers working tirelessly over the keyboard of his MacBook.

“Richard,” He lifted his head at the familiar voice in the coffee shop, who quickly came over to his table and sat across from him.

“Cara, what are you doing here?” He furrowed his eyebrows tightly. “I thought you and Hadley were going to New York,”

“Oh, she’s on her way with Jack. She should arrive around 11:30 this morning, their time. 10:30 our time.” She glanced at her watch.

“But why aren't you with her?”

“Oh,” She started, shrugging her shoulders nervously, “I just couldn't this time. Don’t worry, she’s with Jack. He’ll never say no to her.” She took a sip of the coffee in her hands and raised her eyebrows. “So. I know that you turned down her offer to go with her to New York. Why would you do that?” She sat her cup of coffee down on the table, her gaze intent on his reaction.

Richard was taken aback by her sudden interest in his relationship with Hadley. “Well, I just,” He shook his head. “I have a lot to do. Classes start next week.”

She nodded, narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re not seeing someone else are you?”

“God no! I don’t have the energy for that.”

She chuckled. “Alright, I just had to make sure.”

“No, I just,” He sighed heavily. “I just have a lot going on in my mind right now.”

“You can talk to me, you know, if you need someone.”

With the conversation with Hadley from a few days ago still fresh on his mind, he hesitated. He had to admit, something wasn't right with Cara and the last thing he wanted to do was to give her information that Hadley didn't have. “Actually, Hadley mentioned her therapist, but I couldn't remember his name?”

“Dr. Roberts, he’s downtown. She’s seen him for at least six years.”

Richard nodded, making a mental note of the name. “Thanks,”

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll be heading back to the apartment. See you later, Richard.”

“Have a good weekend, Cara.” Richard let his eyes focus on the screen again, and searched for the telephone number to the experienced psychiatrist. He wasn't going to let Hadley slip through his fingers, even if it meant swallowing his pride and seeing a therapist to help him through the issues plaguing his mind and heart.

About an hour later, he packed his Mac into his messenger bag and left the coffee shop, where he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called to make an appointment with Dr. Roberts. Although he couldn't see him for four weeks, he was glad he made the appointment - it showed an effort to conquer his emotions, which he should be proud of.

The phone vibrated in his hand, and as he looked down at the screen, his lips curled into a smile. “Good morning, Miss Faraday.”

"Good morning to you, Professor,"

"How was your flight?"

"I hate flying. But the tequila helped."

He chuckled. "If I remember correctly, tequila always helps. Are you out of the airport yet?"

"Yes, thank God, it was terrible. So many people. We're on the way to my apartment now and then I need to head over to my book agent, my publisher, and my editor."

"Sounds like you have a busy day,"

"I do, unfortunately."

Richard sighed, the words hesitating on his lips, not sure whether he should reveal this information or not. "Well you'll never guess who I saw this morning at the coffee shop."

"And who would that be?"

"Cara. She came over and sat with me for awhile, asked if I was seeing someone else. Told her I didn't have the energy, I could barely handle you."

She laughed. "Why would she ask you that?"

"She thought it was why I didn't go with you."

"Oh God. Really? Did she tell you why she didn't come with us? Her boyfriend wouldn't let her."

"Let her?" He repeated slowly. "But it's her job!"

She chuckled. "Exactly. I told you what I thought about that situation,"

"Yes, you did.” He sighed and continued. “So, I hate to change the subject Hadley, but I called Dr. Roberts today and I can't get in until the end of September."

"The end of September? Well that's unacceptable. I think I might be able to help if you'd like something sooner."

"Would you mind?"

Her voice lowered. "Not at all, Richard. I'll call when I get back to the apartment."

"Thank you, Hadley. You do know why I’m doing this, don’t you?”

She smiled. “Tell me again.”

“Because I can’t bring you into my heart until I’m ready to deal with my past.”

*****

Richard sat across from Dr. Roberts, laying his right arm across the back of the brown leather couch. “I appreciate you working me in this quick,"

Dr. Roberts nodded his head at Richards statement. "Absolutely. I've seen Hadley every week for many years, so I trust her judgement when she asks for things such as this,"

Richard's eyes floated from the white haired man in front of him to the diplomas on his wall to the small window to his left, overlooking the river.

"Would you like to tell me why you're here, Richard?"

He sighed, a smiled tugging on the corners of his lips. "Well," He began, his eyes falling on Dr. Roberts, "I'm a psychologist, so I'm not exactly new to this situation. To this side I am, though."

Dr. Roberts raised his eyebrows. "Psychologists are normally the hardest ones to get on the couch themselves,"

"That they are," He agreed, drawing his hand up rest his index and middle finger on his temple. "I've wrestled with this for a long time, and I don't know what to do, honestly."

"Well, Richard, you've made the first step - coming to me to talk about it. Now, please, what's on your mind?"

*****

Hadley picked up a piece of sweet and sour chicken with her chopsticks, her gaze intent on Jack, sitting across from her. "Do you think he's going to break my heart?" She popped the piece of chicken into her mouth.

"In all honesty Hadley, I think if he were to break your heart, it would be completely unintentional. I think he definitely has feelings for you, and is drawn to you, but getting too close might not be so good for him. I feel as if he needs to let go of his wife before he can really give you the attention you deserve."

Hadley chuckled. "You hardly know the man, Jack!"

"I'm going on what you and Cara tell me."

"Let's not rely on what Cara says..." She took a sip of wine, her eyebrows raised.

"What is going on with her?" Jack shook his head and sighed. "She's all over the place."

Hadley lowered her eyes and took another piece of sweet and sour chicken. "I'm worried about her."

"I know you are. Does she need to start going back to Dr. Roberts?"

She sighed. "She was never supposed to stop, that's the problem. She's stopped taking her medicine, which is dangerous, and won't reschedule her appointments with Dr. Roberts. Says she's fine, but I know she's not. She's snappy, flies off the handle at anything you say, won't eat, crying one minute yelling the next. I don't know what to do."

"Richard might know."

Hadley smiled mischievously. "I thought you wanted me to back away from him?"

He chuckled. "Stop taking everything I say so seriously, Hadley. I'm sure he might have a few suggestions on what could possibly be done."

She winked at him. "I'll think about it."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some good 'ole smut and is definitely NSFW. Please excuse any errors, as well as the length... I got a little... carried away. Thank you for the support and I welcome all comments and suggestions! Enjoy.

**fourteen**

Hadley stretched her legs out in front of her, the soft cotton sheets sliding over her skin delicately. She laid her head gently on Richard's shoulder, her eyes still intent on the folded up newspaper in front of her face. 

"A five letter word for thick soup?"

"Hmm." He laid the arts section of the New York Times down in his lap and sighed. "Purée?"

"Ah! Yes. No wonder I didn't know." She penciled the letters in the appropriate boxes and chuckled, finally turning her attention to his pleading blue eyes. "Yes, professor?" She dropped the crossword beside her and smiled up at him.

"Are we ever going to get out of bed? I was thinking we could go grab some brunch somewhere..." He dropped his hand to her thigh and gripped it tightly, his eyebrows raised in anticipation. 

"I kind of enjoy staying in bed with you all morning," She pouted, raising her eyebrows.

Richard chuckled and kissed her forehead. "And I really enjoy staying in bed with you, but I'm starving." 

Hadley scrunched her nose. "So am I. Since Cara's all blah, she hasn't been cooking, which means I've had to fend for myself."

He furrowed his brows as his concern continued to grow. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because that's Cara's business," Hadley lifted her head from his shoulder and began to gather the paper back into one stack - which was proving to be an impossible task.

"No," He interrupted her with a chuckle, handing her a few sections from beside him. "That you've had to fend for yourself. I would've made sure you're eating."

She rolled her eyes. "I've been eating, trust me. It's called take out, Richard, and I don't need someone to take care of me."

"I'm aware, I'm just saying that I would've cooked for you."

"Is that so?" She turned towards him sharply, one eyebrow cocked on her forehead. 

"Absolutely. Tonight! You'll come over, have some wine, eat dinner, read a book. Take some time away from..." He trailed off, his eyes traveling down the steps. "I know it's been stressful around here."

She smiled. "Yes, it hasn't exactly been peaceful around here." She threw the paper onto the tufted ottoman at the end of the bed. "Its a wonderful idea, Richard. Thank you."

He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. "You're welcome Hadley. It's the least I can do." 

*****

Richard brought the glass of wine from his lips and sat it on the dining room table in front of him, continuing to watch silently as Hadley finished her dinner. Her sparkling eyes were forever competing with the emerald green racerback shift dress wrapped around her body, a sight he would never grow tired of. He knew that something heavy was on her mind, as she had never been this quiet around him before, but the last thing he wanted to do was push her to open up when she didn't yet feel comfortable. 

The quiet was peaceful, something that he enjoyed frequently and unfortunately most women didn't enjoy it as much as he did. They thought that he was "too much in his head" or "unsociable", but the facts were obvious - whether he was too much in his head or unsociable, it didn't matter, as long as someone else was complacent with the silence, they would understand.

"Can I ask you something?" Hadley inquired, her nose scrunching at the anxiety of letting him into Cara's past. She sat her fork and knife down on the plate and drew the napkin from her lap, patting her lips softly.

Richard was startled by her voice, the quiet clink of the silverware and the light jazz coming across the Bose speakers was easy to get used to. "Of course."

She cleared her throat as the anxiety weighed heavily in her chest. "What do you think about Cara?"

He sighed heavily, unsure of how he should approach the subject. She was Hadley's best friend; Hadley, a girl who has lost everyone close to her. How was he supposed to tell her that she needed to keep her distance? "Well," He shrugged, taking another sip of wine. "Has she had a history of mental problems?"

Even though Richard already knew the answer, he couldn't tell her that he knew, that would break a bond of trust that he wasn't comfortable with. Sure, hiding it was a mistake as well, but he was more comfortable with protecting her emotional health rather than betraying trust. He didn't want to do either one, but something needed to be done, someone needed to take control of this growing situation.

"When we were at NYU, any stress or anxiety would send her off the edge. She would go back and forth between sad and happy, responsible and irresponsible, angry and sobbing. She left school halfway through spring semester; she didn't want her family to know so my father let her stay at his apartment while she tried to figure everything out."

Richard shook his head slowly, attempting to process and remember this information she was entrusting in him. "What concerns me is how easily she floats along life with no regard to others around her. Its as if she has no idea how to act like a responsible, fiscally sound adult."

"She lives in her own little world; a bubble that makes her feel safe and gives her what she needs." She took a sip of wine, her eyes focusing on her empty plate in front of her. She felt guilty revealing this information to Richard, as he didn't deserve to be put in the middle of this. It wasn't his responsibility and the last thing that she wanted to do was to make him feel like he needed to take care of this.

"Do you worry about her ever... taking advantage of you?" He winced as the words leaked from his mouth, and he wished he could've taken them back, but he couldn't. 

"Thank you for the concern, Richard, but she doesn't have access to my accounts or files. And I do trust her, you know." She took a sip of wine and leaned back in the chair. She knew that he didn't mean it that way, but wasn't surprised that he was taking such a heavy interest in her personal affairs.

He smiled at her. "I know that you trust her, but you can't fully rely on someone who is that unpredictable. I mean, look at this last week. Ever since you came back from New York she's been atrocious."

Hadley sighed, shrugging her shoulders lightly. "She has been, yes." Hadley didn't want to talk about her radical behavior anymore than she had to. The brunt of her actions came heavily as she phoned Cara's parents earlier in the week in an attempt to get her the help that she needed. Cara, of course, felt betrayed and went running to Micah, who showed up at her door late one night, threatening to never get involved in Cara's personal life again. 

"What about getting her to see Dr. Roberts?" He studied her face and reactions as she squirmed in the chair, and he knew she about had enough for tonight. 

She scoffed. "Good luck with that. She used to go every week, but stopped."

"Unfortunately, Hadley, you can't do much. She has to make these decisions for herself, and you can't force her to get help if she doesn't want it." Richard breathed a sigh of despair, as he knew that she wanted an answer to fix everything and trusted him to be that person to fix it - or at least try to fix it.

"I just feel so stuck. I want to help her, I do, but..." She hesitated for a moment, taking another sip of wine. "How am I supposed to deal with this? I have so much work I need to do because she's not doing it. I love her, and I care about her, but I'm at a loss of what I have to do. That sounds so selfish, I know, but,"

Richard interrupted her quickly, struggling to keep her on the right side of her head. "Hadley, no, that's not selfish - at all. You can only try so hard before your efforts become unnoticed and passed over."

"You have to understand, Richard, she's one of the few people that I have left, and the last thing that I want is for her to feel as if I've abandoned her." Before she had a chance to stop them, she felt the tears well in her eyes and hastily wiped them away as they spilled onto her cheeks. 

"Oh, Hadley," Richard stood from the table and began walking towards her, his heart falling into his stomach as he watched her fret over this situation she had no control over. "Come here,"

He met her with a warm embrace and she rested her head on his chest; amazed at how firm it felt to her touch, always cushioned her body perfectly. His right hand cupped her cheek lightly, his thumb wiping the warm tears from her face. 

"I'll go with you tomorrow. We'll talk to her, alright? Try and figure something out." He closed his eyes tightly as he rested his head on hers, the urge to magically fix this dilemma weighing so heavily on his heart, he didn't care what his mind was telling him otherwise. He needed to fix her. He needed to make sure that she was going to be okay. He needed to make sure the she knew that she is cared for, and respected.

She tightened her grip around his waist and closed her eyes tight, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"You're certainly most welcome, Miss Faraday." He continued rubbing her back softly, his fingertips always knowing the magical spot to arch her back or send chills down her spine or make her sigh with contentment. "Why don't we open some more wine and relax, hmm?" 

"That sounds lovely," 

*****

“I’d like to have a conversation with you, if I may,” Richard continued to pour more wine into his glass and looked over at Hadley, curled up on the end of the couch in his living room. He sat the bottle back down on the coffee table in front of them and sighed, taking the half empty glass into his hands. 

Hadley took a sip of wine and set the glass down next to the bottle. “You sound rather serious.”

He laughed softly and took a sip of wine. “Remember that conversation we had a few weeks ago? When I dropped off some dinner to you while Cara was away?”

She furrowed her brows, her mind turning back in time to the surprise Chinese dinner. “Yes, I do,”  _Vividly._

He focused his gaze solely on hers, the word on the tip of his tongue. Just another sip of wine, and he'll be able to expel it... “Sex,”

“Sex?” She repeated, tilting her head towards her shoulder.  _Really?_

“I don’t want this to sound…” He trailed off, a smirk pulling on the corners of his lips. “I don’t want this to sound as if I don’t know what I’m doing, sexually, but, you seem to know a lot about it.”

“Know a lot about what? Sex?” Her eyebrows raised high on her forehead, the nerve of this man...

He nodded his head in response, not knowing how to properly judge the reaction she had given him.  _Maybe he needs to stop with the wine..._

“Well, just because you haven’t had as much practice or experience doesn't mean that you don’t know what you’re doing. We’re all constantly trying out new things, to figure out what we like and don’t like, what feels good and what feels great." 

Richard sat the glass of wine down on the coffee table. _Good boy._ “And how do you figure out these likes and dislikes?”

“Me personally?” She took another sip of wine, the bundle of nerves in her stomach grew larger by the second. “Are you asking how many people I've slept with? Or are you asking HOW I masturbate?”

He turned towards her and his voice grew deeper, invoking a steady chill of tingling nerves rotating down her spine. “I’m not asking you how many people you've slept with, Miss Faraday.”

Hadley sighed and took a heavy sip of wine. Usually she saved this information for a time much later than this... but... this poor man needed a sexually invigorating experience, and she wanted to give it to him. “I use a lot of toys; I read about new techniques. I masturbate all the time, actually, well, as much as I can.” She narrowed her eyes, dragging her fingertips up her thigh. “Do you want to watch, Richard?” She studied him, noticing when his breath had caught in his throat. She smiled, knowing she had him right where she wanted him.

He bit his bottom lip softly, his eyes never leaving the trail of her fingertips across her thigh. “I’ll keep that offer open, if you don’t mind.”

“What are you trying to ask me, Richard?”

“I,” Sensing his continued hesitation, and knowing it was only going to get worse, she sat her glass of wine back down and slowly began crawling over the couch cushions towards him, where she sat on his lap gently.

She rested her hands on his chest, her fingertips slowly digging into his skin. “Don’t over think it…” She coaxed, pressing her lips to his.

He took a hold of her biceps firmly. “I want you to take control.”

Her fingertips slid down his chest, her nails sliding over his skin with a slight drag. “You want me to take control? Tonight?”

“Yes.” He dropped his hands to her thighs, sliding them up her smooth creamy skin until he found the hem of that daunting dress.

“Have you ever had someone else take control before?” Her hands fell to the top of his jeans and he took in a sharp breath as her fingertips fell behind his shirt.

He slowly shook his head no, his fingertips sliding underneath the smooth cotton of her dress. “No.”

She let her eyelids fall heavy as she smirked. “Alright,” Her fingertips unbuttoned the denim and slid the zipper past his growing bulge. “All you have to remember,” She began, rolling her fingers underneath the microfiber of his boxer briefs. “Is to listen to what I tell you to do.”

“Okay.” His fingertips reached the soft satin of her panties and immediately, she grasped his hand from her leg, setting it on the arm of the couch beside him.

“No.”

He groaned at the unknown - he had to know everything about her. Was she bare? Was she wet? Perfectly pink? The urge to touch her became almost too much to bear; he needed to lift the edge of her panties slowly, lightly grazing her folds with his fingertips, witnessing how wet she was becoming for him. He sat his hand back on her thigh unknowingly.

“Richard,” Her tone turned sour. “I said no.” She grabbed his wrist tightly and brought his arm behind his head. She slid her hips to his, allowing the soft material to lightly graze over the bulge in his underwear.

The breath in his throat had caught once again, and she was pleased with his words. “I need you, Hadley.” She scanned over the living room, examining the furniture and contents before realizing the bedroom would much rather be suited for this. She stood up off his lap, adjusting the hem of her dress. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”  
  
His jeans fell to his hips as he stood, and he grasped the front of them quickly. He led her to the master bedroom where she picked up a silk tie from the top of his dresser, running the soft material through her fingers. She made her way to where he stopped in front of the bed and chuckled at his eagerness. 

Hadley crossed her arms across her chest, taking him in completely. “Take off your shirt.”

He gripped the hem of the gray shirt in his hands and pulled it off in a rush, his chest heaving, his eyes glistening with desire.

She smiled. “And your pants.”

He pulled his pants down as well, his gaze still stuck solely on her.

“Now,” She started, dragging her fingertips across his bare chest, nodding towards the center of his bed. “Get on the bed.” She watched as he made his way across the large bed, finally settling in the middle comfortably. She had to admit, his physical stature continued to impress her.

Hadley sat the tie on the bed and watched him as he waited patiently, his gaze set on her face intently. She pulled the dress from her body and threw it behind her, letting her curls fall past her shoulders. He couldn't tear his eyes from her and his hands - his fingers - his mouth - everything ached for the touch of her skin. Her hourglass figure was clad in a black lace and satin bra and panty set, showing off her elusive shape that she tried so desperately to hide.

"Lay down." Her voice was tart as she made the command and pointed towards him, her eyebrow cocked on her forehead. She crawled over his body slowly, leaving nips and kisses across his abdomen and chest, and finally, she straddled him. She leaned down, her lips crashing onto his, her tongue fighting its way through his lips. While he was occupied, she took his right hand, set it above his head and did the same with his left, their mouths still encased. _Men - they could only think about one task at a time._ She bit his bottom lip softly and a moan ensued from his chest. Quickly, she bounded his wrists together with the silk tie and secured it to his headboard.

She pulled away from him, trailing her fingers from his bound hands, down his arm and finally settled on his neck where she kissed him again. “Tell me, Richard,” She pleaded, grinding her hips into his, “what do you want.” She lifted her hips from his body as he failed to produce a response. “Richard, I won’t touch you if you don’t tell me what you want,” He stifled a groan as his hips rose off the bed and towards hers.

She sat on him again, straddling his chest, waving her index slowly in front of his face. “Oh, no, no, no…”

He struggled with the bounds, tightly pulling against the headboard. Whether he was getting the feel for it or fighting the control, she didn't know - or care. She raised her left hand and promptly swung it onto his cheek, a skin on skin slap echoing off the walls. His forearms flexed as he continued to clench his fists.

“Richard,”

“My cock,” He stuttered, beads of sweat began to pool around his hairline. “I want you to suck my cock.”

She smirked. “Is that so?” She dragged her fingertips down his chest.

He nodded his head slowly. “Please.”  _Ah, please._

A devious smile tugged at the corners of Hadley’s lips. “And is that all you want?” She dipped her hand into the front of his underwear, her fingers slowly wrapping around his burgeoning cock.

He bit his bottom lip as a moan escaped his chest. “Yes,”

She dropped her lips to his chest, placing kisses along his tender skin until she reached his lower abdomen. She looked up at him and reveled in the enjoyment of the pure look of wonder and uncertainty on his perfectly pointed face. His eyes bore into hers as she hooked her fingers into the sides of his boxer briefs and pulled them off his legs and exposed him fully, never once breaking the emotional connection.

“Professor,” She started, her hand wrapping around his cock once again, the smooth skin sliding perfectly in her palm. “Do you want to know how many times I've thought about you while masturbating?”

His eyes grew wide as she continued to stroke him gently and he nodded his head; he needed to know if she had thought about him as much as he had thought about her. 

She smiled, bringing her lips to the tip of his pulsating cock. “Too many times to count.” She swirled her velvet tongue around his head, her fingers stroking his shaft slowly, easing him into it. A breath of air hissed from between his teeth as in one quick movement she took him in her mouth entirely. He clenched his fists tightly, aching to tangle his fingers in her hair. He lifted his head to watch her, concentrating on the smooth motions of her tongue, lips, and hands.  _He needed every inch of her._

As his cock reached the back of her throat, he let out a deep moan, his hips bucking towards her. Her free hand cupped his balls, her thumb caressing the seam of the thick skin. He leaned his head back down as she continued to lick and suck his throbbing cock, his moans growing more frequent as he continued to hit the back of her throat.

“Fuck,”

She knew he was getting close and wanted it to be everything that he had imagined it to be. Up and down she went, until she felt his release coming strong and he couldn't hold it anymore. He tensed as he moaned her name and his warm, salty juices dripped down the back of her throat.

Slowly, she pulled his cock from her mouth and crawled up over him.

“That was,” He panted, finally opening his eyes, “the best I've ever had.”

She smirked and closed her eyes, resting her forehead on his. “I’m glad you enjoyed.” She wrapped her hands around his neck softly and placed a single kiss underneath his ear on his jawline. She leaned back, straddling him yet again, relishing in the moment in front of her. The blissful expression his face held onto, the heavy pants of breath from his lungs, the occasional "fuck" and "that was fantastic" and of course "Hadley, my God,".  _Yes, she knew._

He looked up at his bound wrists and back to her, nudging his head towards the headboard. 

She raised her eyebrows. “Yes?”

 “Can you untie me now?” He opened his hands and splayed them across the iron headboard.

She smiled at him and reached towards his hands. “Next time,” She started, untying the silk carefully, “you don’t get to ask me questions like that.”

“So…” He trailed off, bringing his hands to his chest and leaning up off the bed. “What would the punishment be for something like that?”

“Well, it depends. I could leave you tied up for your maid to find you,”

“I don’t have a maid,” He interjected, smiling.

She took a hold of his chin, her thumb and index finger gripping the stubbled flesh tightly. “Don’t interrupt me.”

“Please, continue.”

She shook her head and smirked. “Like I was saying. I could leave you tied up; I could tease you all night long; I could take out my vibrator and get myself off, for you to only watch.”

He narrowed his eyes, a smirk pulling on the corners of his lips. “But that wouldn't be so much of a punishment would it?”

She leaned her head back and laughed. ”You make it so hard to be mean to you sometimes, Richard.”

He chuckled.

“Can I ask you something?”

He kissed her. “Anything.”

“The night of the Pollards vow renewal, when you took me home and followed me upstairs?” He nodded his head, encouraging her to continue. “If I wouldn't have…” She trailed off, her eyes growing soft. “Would you have ever kissed me?”

He smiled at her, letting his hands drop to her waist. “Absolutely, Hadley. I was terrified, to be honest.”

“Of what? Me?”

“Of everything. You, the way I was feeling. You looked so incredibly beautiful that night, you kept taking my breath away. Every time I would look over at you, Hadley, I had this knot in my stomach and I didn't want to say something wrong or stupid. Remember during the ceremony when you laid your hand on my leg? I thought I was nearly going to have a heart attack, right there on the spot. That’s what you do to me, every single day, every single moment I’m with you.”

She let her lips fall to his and kissed him passionately, resting her hands on his bare chest. She let out a soft moan as his fingertips trailed from her lower back to her neck, grazing her spine slowly. He cupped her face with his hands, brushing a few curls from her shoulder. She pulled away from him slowly, resting her forehead on his.

“Richard,” She breathed quietly, closing her eyes. “Can I trust you?”

“Yes. By God, Hadley, if I ever hurt you, even in the slightest, I’ll never forgive myself.” He let his hands fall to the nape of her neck, where he grasped her petite shoulders gently. “I can’t promise you that everything will be perfect, but I can promise you that I’ll always be there for you, for guidance, support, advice, laughs. You've brought an entire new meaning to my life.”

She lifted her head from his and smiled at him. “You just have to be honest with me, Richard. I have a really hard time deciphering human emotion, so something that might be so plain to see for you, won’t be for me. I’ll understand if you’re having a tough day, and don’t want to see me, or want to be alone. Trust me. But you just have to be completely honest. If you can give me that, Richard, I’ll be able to give you anything.”

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter... Hadley encounters a heartbreaking revelation... will Richard be there to pick her up when she falls?


	15. Chapter 15

**fifteen**

Richard stood in front of Hadley’s fridge, picking out a few fresh ingredients for breakfast and sat them on the counter next to Hadley. He shut the door and grabbed a metal bowl from the cabinet and looked over at her.

“A whisk?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I told you Richard, I know nothing of the kitchen area.”

He laughed. “Except for the wine.”

She narrowed her eyes playfully and smiled at him. “That’s not very nice.”

He chuckled and kissed her on the lips softly. “I’m sorry.” He began opening drawers until he found the right one and grabbed a metal whisk.

She continued checking her email on her iPad and turned when she heard Cara’s voice beside them.

“Good morning, Hadley. Richard.”

Richard turned and smiled at the brunette. “Good morning, Cara. Would you care for some breakfast?”

Cara shook her head slowly. “No, thank you.” She smiled at Hadley. “I need to talk to you.”

Hadley nodded, drawing her eyes away from the electronic device. “Alright, we can go upstairs if you want,”

“No, that’s not necessary.”

“Alright,” Hadley closed her iPad, setting it down beside her, which Richard took out of harms way and set it on the island, away from the stove.

“Hadley,” She started, moving towards the island slowly. “I’m moving out.”

Hadley blanked. She furrowed her brows, attempting to piece together a coherent sentence. “You’re moving out?”

Richard looked up at the two and cracked a few more eggs into the bowl, presiding over the conversation carefully. He didn't want Cara to feel as if he were judging the situation, but he didn't want to leave Hadley alone with her either.

“I need to. I’m,” She hesitated, dropping her eyes to the island in front of her. “I’m moving in with Micah.”

Richard made a mental note and continued whisking the eggs. _Erratic behavior and decisions. Not good._

“With Micah?” Hadley repeated, shaking her head. “You've known the guy for three weeks, Cara.” She looked over at Richard who caught her gaze and shook his head softly.  _What in the world is going on? This isn't normal._

“I feel like it’s right,” Cara tried to explain through the tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Hadley. I can’t do this anymore. The job, living with you.” She brought a hand to her face and wiped a few tears from the corners of her eyes.

Hadley shook her head, unable to process the situation in front of her. “So you’re quitting too?” She sighed heavily, her eyes resting on Richard yet again. She knew what he was trying to tell her - don’t say anything rash, you’ll only push her deeper into a manic state. “Eleven years, Cara. And this is how it ends?”  _What did she do? Did she say something wrong? Do something wrong? Forget her birthday?_

Cara wiped a single tear from her cheek and shrugged. “I don’t know what else to tell you, Hadley. I’ll be completely moved out by this evening.”

Hadley raised her eyebrows. “This evening?”  _This was all happening so quickly - but was it really happening? Or was this a dream that she so desperately needed to wake up from?_

“Yeah,” She started walking towards Hadley. "I'm sorry, Hadley. But I have to." 

_Have to? What the fuck was going on?_ “No,” She held up her hands defensively. “Don’t touch me.”  _The last thing she needed was an emotional connection to this situation - a hug or a gentle pat on the shoulder to connect with this bombshell of news. 'Hey, Hadley. I'm moving in with my boyfriend of three weeks. And I'm quitting my job. See ya.'_

“Alright, Hadley. I understand.” Cara grabbed her bag from the kitchen counter. “I’ll be back later to grab some more of my stuff. The mac, iPhone, iPad, cards… everything that's yours in on the bed.”  _No more items to keep her directly contacted with Hadley._

Hadley nodded. “And so that’s it?”  _Angry wasn't the word anymore. She was irate. Why would she do this? And not give a reason?_

“I’m sorry, Hadley.” Before she had a chance to respond, Cara was making her way to the front door, and once it shut soundly behind her, Hadley turned towards Richard.

“Hand me my phone please,”

Richard shook his head. “Hadley, I,” He needed to make sure that she was alright before she did something rash.

Hadley slammed her hand down on the counter beside her. “My phone. Please.” The anger festered in her chest, rising into her throat with a vengeance. 

He grabbed her phone from the island and handed it to her, where immediately, she called a number saved in her favorites. The conversation was short, yet Richard knew he better save his questions for later.

“Anderson, it’s Hadley. Yes, yes, I’m fine, thank you. Remember that conversation we had last weekend? About the Cara situation? I’m going to need to go ahead with what we talked about. Yes, everything. No, I’ll call my publisher and accountant, just get everything on your side done immediately. If I need to come up next weekend I will. Alright, thanks. Yes, I’ll talk to you soon.”

She hung up the call and held out her index finger to Richard as she called another saved number.

“Miles, it’s Hadley. I’m fine, thanks, I hope you are. Yes, it’s been warm down here too. Listen, I need a favor. Remember the conversation we had last weekend? Regarding Cara? I need you to secure everything, please. Make sure it’s all set up like how we talked about. I just talked to my lawyer and I told him that if I needed to come up next weekend I would, so just let me know once you get everything done, please. Thank you.”

She hung the phone and set it down beside her, breathing a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry,” She began, her heart racing. “But I knew I needed to have certain things in place in case something like this were to happen.”

He shook his head softly. “I don’t give you nearly enough credit, Miss Faraday.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “That was my accountant. And lawyer. I met with them while I was in New York last weekend, talked to them about Cara. They, of course, want me to be fully protected,”

He nodded his head. “As do I. What are they doing?”

“Well, my accountant stops her paychecks, as well as secures all of my financials. Changes passwords, makes sure she doesn't have access to any credit cards, bank accounts, that sort of stuff. My lawyer has paperwork drawn up keeping me and my identity safe - wills, houses, cars, all that stuff. He’ll also hire someone to change out the locks on the houses and keypad access. It may sound a bit over the top, but they know what they're doing.”

Richard poured the eggs into the sizzling pan and looked over at her. “Seems like you've thought about this for awhile.”

“No, my father just always taught me to be protective over everyone I meet. I trust her, I do, but this guy? I don’t know a damn thing about him and that's what worries me." 

Richard rinsed out the metal bowl and set it in the sink. “I don’t blame you, Hadley,” He walked over towards her. “This is a lot of information to take in, though. Your best friend of eleven years just dropped a bomb on you - it can’t be easy knowing she’s left a job and her home for a man she barely knows.”

She dropped her eyes to the floor and sighed, the pain in her heart growing larger with each breath. “What am I supposed to do? Beg her not to go? She’s already made up her mind.” She knew she would never be able to change her mind, but she just wished she had a reason as to why this was happening.

“I know,” He kissed her lips softly. “And I also know how much you care about her.”

She felt the tears well in her eyes. “Yes, that I do."

"She's manic, Hadley. And Bi-Polar. When you have mental illnesses such as these, especially combined, its a dangerous situation. I'm afraid there's not much anyone can do until she admits she has a problem. Pushing her is only going to make it worse."

Hadley nodded slowly, not wanting the conversation to continue anymore. She needed to be in her head for awhile. "I'm aware."

"So all you can do is support her. I know it's hard, but giving her that safe place to come home to - you - is going to be what she needs."

She wiped a tear from her cheek. "If that's what I need to do, then I'll do it."

*****

After Hadley's insistence, Richard finally left her apartment that afternoon in order to prepare for the start of his classes on Wednesday. He was hesitant leaving her alone to deal with Cara and her new boyfriend, but he knew that Hadley could take care of herself, and as always, Jack would be downstairs if she needed him.

Cleaning out Cara’s nearly empty bedroom was a daunting task when Hadley realized that there would be no more running into her bed when she couldn't sleep; or going through her closet to find something clean. She sorted through the remnants of the room and divided the rest into boxes. She treated each item with a deep rooted respect, wanting to make sure that everything was taken care of the right way. If she was going to leave, the least Hadley could do was make sure she had everything she needed.

She began to think about all the times that Cara had been there for her; from their time at NYU, to getting her first book published, to her father's death and getting her past the traumatic event. She tried not to become too emotional over the thought that she'd lost her best friend, but it was harder than she had expected. She attempted to reminisce on why this happened - did she say something she shouldn't have? Was she holding her back? It wasn't as if they had a huge fight and could pinpoint exactly what happened.

Once Hadley had gone through Cara's room completely, she decided to go through the rest of her apartment to void all the visual memories that she could, whether it was healthy for her or not, she really didn't care. She moved the few boxes to the living room and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, adrenaline still pumping through her veins, anticipating the call and/or visit from Cara. She wanted to be able to sit down with her and discuss a few things, but she knew deep inside that she wouldn't be able to.

Thoughts began to infect her mind, thoughts of the future and her career. How could she have not seen something like this happening? Is there something she could have done to prevent this situation from getting as out of control as it did? As much as she didn't want to blame this entire situation on herself, she knew that’s exactly what she was doing. She didn't want to feel as if she did nothing to prevent this from happening.

The phone chimed on the dining room table and she shook her head swiftly, attempting to block out the emotions and thoughts swirling through her mind. She took the phone in her hands and sighed heavily as she read the text over and over. _Of course._

After calling Jack and leaving him a quick message to call her back, she decided to call Richard for help. He answered the phone on the second ring.

"Hadley, are you alright?"

She smiled. "I'm okay. I tried to call Jack but I think he’s showing a house."

"What do you need?"

"Cara sent me a message and said that she wouldn't be coming by to pick up the rest of her stuff, but Micah would be here this evening to get it from me. And I just,"

Richard sighed in relief. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

And of course, he was right on time. Within fifteen minutes, he was walking through the threshold of Hadley's apartment where he found her in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge.

"Hadley," He laid a hand on her elbow and instinctively, she jumped slightly.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" She turned and slapped him across the arm.

"I'm sorry, I thought you heard me come in," He smiled at her affectionately. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I guess, I'm okay," She mumbled, closing the door of the fridge gently.

"When is he coming over to get the boxes?"

She sighed and glanced at the clock on the wall. "In about ten, fifteen minutes."

He rested his hands on her shoulders. "Why don't you go upstairs and take a nice, hot, relaxing bath. I'll take care of this, alright?"

Hadley smiled and stretched herself up onto her tip toes, placing a light kiss on his lips. "Thank you,"

"Oh, no, thank you, Miss Faraday. For allowing me to help you with something for once."

She chuckled. "If you need me, I'll be upstairs."

Richard continued straightening up the kitchen and grabbed some leftovers from the fridge, attempting to piece something together for dinner. After realizing most of the containers were old and growing something mysterious and grey, he came to the conclusion that it would be easier to just order some take out from the usual Chinese place.

As he was hanging up the phone from placing the order, the front door opened and Richard stepped into the living room, relieved to see it was only Jack.

“Richard! I tried to call Hadley back, but I was showing a house and my signal was terrible.” He sat down his messenger bag on the dining room table and proceeded down the hallway. “Is Hadley upstairs? I want to check on her.”

Richard smiled and leaned up against the bar. “Yes, she’s taking a bath.”

Jack stopped in his tracks and turned back around. “Maybe I won’t.” He shrugged sheepishly and made his way back to the kitchen, his eyes glancing over the boxes in the living room. “I take it he hasn't shown up yet?”

“No, not yet. He’s just expecting it to be Hadley, so I'm sure it will be an awkward encounter.”

Jack chuckled. “I had to admit, I thought Hadley was joking when she told me that Cara was moving out.” He grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and sat on the island.

“It was… odd. There was no emotion from her, no cognitive reaction. It was as if she was being completely controlled.” 

“How’s Hadley doing with all this?”

Richard sighed, raising his eyebrows. “She’s quiet. She’s upset, feels abandoned. Like she’s in the dark.”

“Have you been with her all day?”

“Pretty much. She kicked me out quite a few hours ago, wanted to be alone, which I understood completely. But she called after she was informed that Micah would be picking up the rest of Cara’s belongings, and she just didn't feel comfortable being here alone.”

Jack nodded his head. “Thanks, Richard. For being there for her. She needs it. I mean, she has literally done everything for Cara, and now, I’m just worried about her.” He took a sip of water and continued. “She’s known for falling into deep, dark holes after something like this happens. I called and made her an appointment with Dr. Roberts this week, which I know she’ll hate me for, but she’ll get over it.”

“Is there anything else I should know?”

“Well,” Jack sighed, “not really. You’re doing everything right now, giving her the space she needs, answering when she does call. Being there for her. Just try not to tell her no. Trust me on this.”

Richard nodded his head slowly. “Whatever she wants, Jack.”

“So why did you pass up a trip to New York with her?”

“I, to be honest, was frightened. She frightens me, really.”

Jack laughed. “She frightens a lot of people, Richard.”

“No,” Richard shook his head, “there is such a strong force pulling me towards her that I was terrified to be alone with her. Terrified I’d say or do the wrong things, make a fool of myself. She reminds me so much of my wife that at first I thought it was wrong to be with her. That I was projecting my feelings of my wife onto Hadley, but in reality, it was nothing of the such. Hadley’s so delicate, you know, and people just don’t understand that.”

Jack smiled at him and nodded his head slowly. “That she is, Richard. She’s an incredible human being and I've never had anyone love me for who I am as much as Hadley does. She asked me in New York if I thought that you would break her heart, because truthfully, I thought you would. But I don’t think that it would ever be intentional. The way you look at her, Richard, it’s mind blowing. Even on that date you went on with Cara, when you two came back here, you were such an ass to her. And then I saw you looking at her - really looking at her - and this softness came to your eyes and this smile on your face, and I just knew. I knew that you were drawn to her.”

“Absolutely, I was. And I’ll never forgive myself for treating her the way that I did. She was a constant reminder that I killed my wife, and I didn't know how to deal with all these new emotions that were coming out. But thankfully, she helped me deal with a few things that I couldn't do myself.”

“You make her happy, Richard.”

“I’m just glad I've been given the opportunity.”

*****

Hadley followed the smell of food through the hallway and down to the kitchen, a smile on her face. "You didn't have to do this, you know."

Richard turned. "I know." He cupped her face with his hands and planted a kiss on her lips. "But I was hungry. And you have nothing to eat!"

Hadley nodded. "True. I guess I have to go to the grocery store, hmm?"

"That might be wise." He winked at her, running his fingertips through her damp hair. "Are you hungry? Let's eat."

"So he..." She rested her hands on his chest.

He smiled at her. "Yes. He picked up the boxes, didn't say a word. And I had a long talk with Jack. I must say, it's been quite a productive evening."

"Well, I'm glad. I spoke to my editor and they're conducting interviews tomorrow, apparently there's a few people in the office who have some amazing experience." She looked up at him and smiled. "Since I have to have an assistant..."

Richard chuckled. "Yes, you do, and you can't get out of it. Now, let's have some dinner before it gets cold."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut {nsfw} + language. enjoy!

**sixteen**

"You still haven't gone to the grocery store?" Richard sighed in frustration as he rummaged through the fridge in front of him. "Hadley, you have nothing in here!" He slammed the door and turned around to face her with his hands on his hips.

"I've been busy," She raised her eyebrows, watching his actions from the dining room table. She knew he was tense as a result of starting all of his classes today, but this attitude was beginning to grow unacceptable. _Although, he did look delicious standing there all angry..._

He rolled his eyes. "You're a fucking author who just finished a book. You aren't that busy, Hadley." He shook his head, gripping the edge of the island countertop tightly. He debated on what he should do next - apologize or continue to work through the anger; and although an apology was high on his list, it just felt _so good_ to get everything  o u t.

Hadley dropped her fingers from the keyboard of her Mac. "I'm in the middle of final editing, Richard, so yeah, I'm a little busy. And I've been trying to sort through these resumes for my new assistant,"

"And let me guess, you need help with that too?" His icy stare met hers and a chill ran up her spine. He dropped his head, knowing she was doing nothing wrong, that this was not her fault... but it was just flowing, and he felt as if there were no stopping it now.  

She glanced towards the screen of the laptop in attempt to rid herself of his glare. "No, I don't." Her voice was curt as she answered him, anxiety creeping into her mind. _What was his problem?_

He dropped his gaze to the floor. "I never realized how much you depend on others to take care of you. I mean, do I need to go to the market for you? Do your work for you, too?" The guilt weighed heavy as the words fell from his lips - he knew that she could take care of herself, there was no denying that after everything she's been through.

Hadley shook her head and pointed her finger to the front door. "Get out." And that was the last straw. She could take his antics and name calling, but defiling her character as if she were an invalid? She's perfectly healthy and capable enough to do whatever she chooses - like throwing him out of her house.

"Hadley," He started, walking towards her place at the table, his face draining with color after each step he took. He knew he made a mistake and wanted to apologize, but now he knew there was nothing he could do. Why did he _always_ do this? She didn't deserve to be pushed away.

She slammed her hand down onto the table, her eyes never leaving the glowing screen in front of her. "Now."

“Unbelievable,” He muttered underneath his breath, gathering his messenger bag from the kitchen counter. _Honestly, he wasn't saying it at her, but at himself - how could he be so damn stupid?_

Her eyes trailed him across the top of her glasses, and finally rested on the front door after he slammed it shut behind him. She hoped for a moment that he would turn around and apologize, not only for his god awful attitude but for the terrible things he somehow had the courage to admit. _Was she really like that? Did she really need someone to depend on? No, no. No._

Hadley shook her head slowly, her gaze returning to the laptop. _Who the hell did he think he was?_ She had done nothing to provoke his senseless attitude, and why he felt as if it was alright to speak to her in that way truly baffled her. She wasn’t going to be blamed for this; this situation was in no way her fault.

She shook off the urge to run after him and give him a piece of her mind, but she knew he was already long gone and there was nothing she could do about it now. The anger that festered inside her chest would only make the situation worse, even though maybe that's just what he needed.

*****

The heavy, boisterous knocks on the front door startled Hadley from the deepest sleep she had received since Cara had left last weekend. She sat up quickly before realizing she was on the living room couch and scanned the room around her, unsure of how she didn't make it to her bed the previous night. The night had become a blur after Richard showed himself as the asshole he was - how could she ever think that he was truly a "nice guy". In all honesty, she didn't believe they existed anymore anyways.

Slowly, she stumbled her way to the entryway, where she leaned up against the front door and sighed when she saw Richard's head through the peep hole. She leaned her forehead up against the heavy wood and closed her eyes tightly, silently wishing he would just give up and _go away_.

"Hadley, open the door." His voice drifted through the wood with an apologetic tone and she couldn't help but to roll her eyes. _Still trying to tell her what to do... unbelievable._

She unlocked the door and pulled it towards her, dread filling her stomach as his frame towered over her. This was not how she wanted to start a Thursday morning - hell, this wasn't the way she wanted to start any morning.

"Good morning, Hadley," Richard stood in front of her and held out a cup of coffee eagerly, nodding his head toward the steaming cup.

She tilted her head towards her shoulder and narrowed her eyes, attempting to read his emotions and thoughts from his demeanor alone. _Asshole._

The smile dropped from his face as he lowered his hand back towards his side. "Can I come in and talk to you?"

She blinked slowly, crossing her arms across her chest. _He wasn't being serious, was he?_

"Alright," He sighed and dropped his shoulders. "I just wanted to apologize for last night,"

Hadley rolled her eyes again and let her arms fall to her sides. "I'm sure you do."

"Ah, so you can speak," He chuckled, a smile forming prematurely on his lips.

She raised her eyebrows. _Really?_ She reached out quickly and took the cup of coffee from his hand before slamming the door in his face. If he had the nerve to wake her up this early for nothing but a few sarcastic comments, the least she could do would be to take the coffee, right?

*****

Hadley stood at the door of Richard's office quietly, listening intently to see if anyone else was present in his office. After taking a moment to compose herself from being entirely too angry, she turned the doorknob in her hands and pushed the door open.

"Hadley!" Richard stood from his desk quickly.

The door slammed shut behind her, and slowly, she made her way towards his desk.

"I have a class in just a few minutes," He glanced down at his watch and back at her, observing as the anger settled into her gleaming eyes. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "But that can wait, can't it," _He knew that she was angry, and quite frankly, he was terrified of her._

Hadley stood in front of him and pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him back into his chair. He fell into the leather seat with a thud, his eyebrows raised. _At this point he would've let her do anything to him._

She leaned down and placed her hands on the arms of the chair. "Don't you ever," Her left hand crashed onto his right cheek in a motion so quick he didn't even have the time to respond, "speak to me in such a way ever again." She held her index finger in his face swiftly, her eyes narrowing. "And if you do," Once again, her hand crashed onto his face, a stinging, burning pain radiating on his cheek, "I'll never forgive you."

"Hadley, I," He attempted, holding a hand tightly to his cheek to reduce the swelling. _Honestly, he was sorry, he wanted her to forgive him... but he didn't want her to stop, either._

Quickly, her hand wrapped around his neck, her head shaking intently. "Don't."

He leaned his head onto the back of the chair and held up his hands defensively. "Alright,"

Her fingertips rested on his lips, tracing the smooth outline in a motion so smooth he could barely contain his excitement. "I'm serious, Richard. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with _such_ a dumbass right now."

"I'm sorry," He mumbled, his eyes growing soft at the heartbreak he had caused her. _She didn't deserve this._

She raised her eyebrows with an attitude so heavy he could practically feel it. "For?"

"For being a complete and utter dumbass."

"That's right." She traced his lips with her fingertip again. "And do you know what I'm going to go do now?" She whispered as she lowered her body onto his lap. He shook his head slowly, his hands magnetically landing on her thighs. "I'm going to go home and get in bed," She licked her lips slowly, watching as he was so engrossed in every move she made, "and give myself the best, most intense orgasm I've had in months." She let her fingertips fall from his lips and down his chest, landing on the waistband of his trousers. "And do you know what I'm going to think about?"

A groan escaped his lips as he closed his eyes, imagining Hadley in bed, alone, pleasing herself loudly and vividly - without him. She stroked his erect cock through his trousers and leaned her face closer to his, pressing her lips to his ear.

"I'm going to think about me, fucking you, all... night... long." She stood up off of him, placing her hands on her hips. "Now. Don't you have a class to get to?"

He chuckled sarcastically and looked down at his crotch. "And what am I supposed to do with this?"

"I know," She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "It's unbelievable, isn't it?"

*****

A smile curled onto Hadley’s lips as she glanced through the peep hole of her front door once again, which she vigorously tried to shake from her face. The bright yellow sunflower that Richard held in his hands completely covered the bottom portion of his face, leaving his sparkling blue eyes peeking over the top petals.

After letting her heart settle back in a monotonous rhythm, she opened the door to his towering presence. She rested her shoulder against the doorframe in front of him, peeking up at him over the top of her glasses.

Richard attempted to hand her the flower, an innocent smile on his face.

"How did you know?" Her arms remained crossed at her chest, yet her voice and eyes grew soft with each passing second.

He furrowed his brows tightly at her question. "How did I know what?"

She looked down at the flower in his hands and took it into hers, her fingertips lightly grazing over the soft yellow petals. She looked back up at him, completely enamored by his vulnerability. _That they were her favorite._

"I was walking downtown, I saw it in the window of this flower shop and you popped into my mind. I didn't know what else to do, except to come and surprise you..." He shrugged nervously, the smile growing after she took the flower from him.

"So, I just popped into your mind, then?" She tilted her head slowly, her gaze meeting his.

"You're always on my mind, Hadley. You..." He shook his head and took a step towards her. "You are constantly on my mind, and the reason you popped into my mind earlier wasn't because you weren't already there. I didn't know what to do to have you forgive me, honestly,"

She took hold of the button placards on his shirt tightly. "I don’t depend on others to take care of me, Richard. My priorities aren’t always in order, no; I have a hard time seeing things that need to be done; and I shrug off errands because frankly, sometimes I just don’t see the point. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t take care of myself, it means that I’m human, and I make mistakes. You seriously hurt my feelings, which I won’t continue to stand for. I have enough going on right now, and trying to figure out what this is, I just,”

“I’m sorry, Hadley,” His hands landed on her shoulders, his fingertips gripping her soft skin tightly, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, I’m sorry I yelled you, I’m sorry I’m so sorry. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you, which you didn’t deserve.” He brought his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship, so I’m a little rusty as to what and what not to do, so if you’ll just forgive me,”

The polite cough startled them both, turning their bodies away from each other and to the small voice behind them.

Hadley smiled at the teenager carrying her takeout from the Chinese restaurant down the street and held up a finger to him. “Hold on one second, let me get my bag.”

Richard took his wallet from the pocket in his trousers. “How much?”

“$23.50.” He chuckled - her eyes were always bigger than her stomach. He pulled out $30 and handed it to the kid. “Keep it.” He took the warm brown bag from his hands and leaned up against Hadley’s doorframe, draping the bag on his finger.

Hadley shook her head once she returned to the entryway. “Richard,” She scolded, taking the bag from his outstretched hand.

“Can’t help it,” He shrugged his shoulders lightly and smiled. He attempted to turn his shoulders to leave her be for the night, but she wasn’t having any of that nonsense.

She took ahold of his empty hand and pulled him inside her apartment. “You’re not going anywhere.”

*****

Richard pulled the sheet away from his torso quietly, glancing down to the obtrusive response his body had betrayed him with. He finally let the cool cotton back down with an exasperated sigh and began to weigh his options delicately - either sneak off to the bathroom to take care of it or continue to think about the irrelevant details of his life and try to get back to sleep.

It was only 4:38am, and although he would have felt more comfortable waking Hadley up if their relationship was a little more advanced than it was, he didn’t know what else to do. He turned his attention towards the blonde next to him, and watched as she continued to sleep soundly; her full lips parted slightly, her eyelids closed tightly, her naked body... _Wait_.

He furrowed his brows as he remembered that she went to bed in a yellow tank top snug perfectly tight against her torso. He slowly took the top of the sheet in his hand and lifted it once again, his eyes growing wide at the sight of her, naked except for a pair of simple black boyshorts that did nothing but turn him on even further, which he honestly didn't think was possible at this point.

Richard dropped the sheet, his hand falling to her face where he brushed her side swept bangs from her eyes. She groaned softly as his hand remained on her cheek and he smiled. "You're naked."

She sighed softly, her eyes remaining tight with sleep. “I have a habit of taking off my clothes while sleeping.”

He chuckled. _No wonder he woke up with his cock throbbing erectly._

"Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?" She groaned again, turning to her back to glance at the clock on her bedside table.

"I..." He stuttered, his eyes trailing across the outline of her body through the sheer sheet. "I couldn't sleep."

“And why is that?” She turned her sparkling gaze to his and continued. “Too cold? Too dark? My bed too soft? All the things you’ve complained about the last few weeks…”

He smirked. “No. No. I can honestly say it’s none of those reasons,”

“Ah, so, something more… prominent?” She narrowed her eyes suggestively and maintained her position on her back; if he wanted her, he was going to come for her.

“You could say that,” His voice continued to grow deeper with passionate rage, the need to tear her underwear off and ravage her until the sun came up was almost too much to control. His lips were so close to hers that she desperately fought herself not to give in to the wicked temptation before her.

She knew that he woke up with his cock throbbing desperately, which was obvious. But was he confident enough to make the first move? She began to doubt whether he would take her in his arms or not and fought the urge to just do it herself, but sometimes, sometimes… _She just needs to feel wanted._

She glanced up at him, his blue eyes searching her face for a reason not to act on his wants and urges. His needs. His need for Hadley and the emotional and physical connection that he longed for.

“Hadley,” He traced his thumb softly across her cheek. “The last time that I had a woman in my arms was over a year ago.”

She smiled at him. “Is that supposed to deter me from wanting you?”

The tip of his nose grazed across hers. “No,”

“You know, Richard,” She let her right hand grasp onto his shoulder firmly. “Sometimes I need to feel wanted,”

Before she had the chance to continue, his lips were pressed to hers in a kiss so passionate and so raw that she couldn’t help but to completely give in to him. His right hand fell underneath the sheets and landed tightly on her hip, pulling her towards him quickly.

A moan escaped her lips as his fingertips found the hem of her boyshorts and pulled them down her thighs, where she was finally able to kick them off her legs with a burning desire. She continued kissing him as he wedged his hand between her thighs, which she opened eagerly and willingly.

“Richard,” Her voice was so low that he barely heard her until she pulled away from his lips and whispered it a second time.

“Yes, Hadley?” He rolled her over onto her back, where he climbed over her slowly.

“I haven’t been with anyone in over a year,” She admitted, an embarrassing blush slowly forming on her cheeks.

He chuckled softly, pressing his forehead to hers. “Is that supposed to deter me from wanting you, Miss Faraday?”

She scoffed at the repetitive question and shook her head. “No.”

“Good.” He smiled at her and began leaving a trail of kisses from her lips, jaw line, and down to her neck, finally stopping at her chest. He took her breast in his mouth, his tongue flicking across her nipple quickly. She wrapped her fingers in his hair, pulling the dark strands tight against his scalp.

His lips continued their trail down her abdomen and stopped at her belly button. He looked up at her and smiled, his eyes sparkling solely into hers. His fingertips trailed down her sides slowly, the light touch and impatient nature drawing a pull tight to her stomach. He gripped her hips firmly and placed his lips close to her center, teasing her with the touch of his lips and flicks of his tongue.

“Richard,” She warned, her tone drawing a chuckle from his lips. Her fingers continued pulling against his scalp as he traced his tongue over her folds. A deep moan rolled from her chest as he began lapping her, his grip on her hips growing tighter as she bucked towards him. As his tongue found her swollen and sensitive bud, she cried out helplessly. The need for him and his touch grew heavier with each passing moment, and although she was deeply enjoying the moment… _she needed him_.

She looked down at him and caught his penetrating gaze, biting her bottom lip. “I need to feel you,” She moaned exasperatedly as she dropped her head back onto the pillows. Another pull drew deep in her stomach as she felt his morning stubble rub against her abdomen, his lips kissing the sensitive skin all the way back up to her lips.

“You’re so damn sweet,” He moaned, kissing her lips passionately.

She licked her lips and smirked. “I know.” She pushed him over onto his back and crawled over him slowly. “But I need you.” She leaned down and kissed him again, leaning her forehead onto his. Richard cupped her face gently, his soft kisses turning more passionate as she positioned herself over him. His hands trailed from her neck and down her sides, the light touch of his fingertips drawing a primal need for him and him alone. She took his pulsating cock in her hand, placing it ever so lightly at her entrance.

As she sank onto him, a moan fell from her lips and he gripped her thighs tightly. After a few minutes of getting used to the overwhelming sensation of his cock filling her completely, she began rocking her hips back and forth.

“Oh, Hadley,”

She closed her eyes as she continued rocking and swaying her hips against his cock, their emotional moans of deep fulfilled pleasure filling the room entirely. His hands rose from her thighs and landed on her waist, pulling her body towards him with each motion she took.

After he could no longer take it, he pulled her body towards his and kissed her deeply, his tongue pushing through her lips and wrestling with her own. He rolled her over onto her back and grabbed both of her wrists, pinning her to the bed under his weight. He repositioned his cock into her center, his swift motion and direct position hitting her fully and filling her completely.

Each thrust became faster and more powerful than the last, a muffled moan rose from her lips. She wrangled her left hand from his grasp and brought her fingertips to her swollen clit, begging for attention. Richard leaned back and took her right leg, pressing it up against his chest firmly. He let his other hand fall to her breast, rolling her nipple in between his index and thumb, squeezing it at just the right time.

She felt her pressure began to build and moaned his name. “Oh, God,” She brought her other hand to the metal slats of the headboard behind her and gripped one tightly. “I’m so close,”

He dropped her leg from his chest and gripped her thighs tight, opening them further to allow his thrusts to become more erratic by the second. As the tingles arrived in her toes and the indescribable wave began to pass over her, she began to moan, “Oh, Richard, I’m,”

“Oh thank God,” As he felt her walls clench tight around his cock, he reached his own climax, crying out as he spilled into her. He leaned down towards her, his breath heavy.

“Dear God, woman,” He panted, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “is this what we’ve been missing?”

She chuckled. “What fools we’ve been.”

“You’re amazing, you know that? The way you feel, the way you taste, the way you move your hips at just the right angle...”

She smiled up at him. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” She cupped her hands around his face and kissed his lips gently.

“Yes, Miss Faraday, I think I enjoyed myself as much as you did.” He attempted to lay beside her, but she stopped him by wrapping her legs around his waist.

“No,” She shook her head slowly, her fingertips wiping the small beads of sweat from his brow, “Not yet.”

He collapsed onto her with a smile. “It would be my pleasure,”

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**seventeen**

Richard brought the steaming mug of coffee to his lips and sipped slowly, the strong black liquid filling every crack in his exhausted body. He opened his eyes and set the ceramic cup down softly on the kitchen island, basking in the desolate, still silence around him. The quiet hum of the refrigerator, the air conditioner switching off, the ticking clock in the living room. The mornings were his time - time to revel in his head, go over his classes, memorize his schedule. The silence brought a peaceful calming to his system, and although he had never imagined staying over at Hadley’s on a night before he had classes, he began to realize that it wasn’t where he was at physically, but instead where his mind was.

The three heavy knocks on the front door shook him from his blissful state of relaxation. He glanced down at his watch, noting the time silently.

_7:15 in the morning, bloody hell._

A tall, burly figure stood outside the door, and as Richard stepped in front of the peephole, his eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the police officer waiting patiently. The anxiety slowly stilled as he remembered Hadley was upstairs sleeping soundly, so he knew it had nothing to do with her. _Or did it?_ He never knew, honestly.

Richard opened the door hesitantly, an eyebrow cocked out of habit. _What now._

The dark haired, stone jawed officer tilted his head slowly at the strange man standing in Hadley’s doorway. “Uh,” He trailed off slowly, his eyes glancing at the front of the door, making sure he was indeed at apartment 7A. _Of course he was at Hadley's, he would never forget where she lived - but had she truly moved on? In the back of his mind, he found that idea doubtful. As much as he may or may not had loved Hadley, he knew that there was one thing about her that she couldn't change: trust._

“Can I help you?” Richard rested his left hand on the door frame, his other hand gripping the doorknob tightly. He had never before witnessed a police officer so deep in thought when confronted.

“I’m looking for Hadley,” The officer shifted the brown file folder in his hands, his gaze finally leveling off at the front door, not yet wanting to look the man in the eye.

Richard dropped his hand from the door frame to the left front pocket of his grey trousers and leaned back onto his heels. “I’m afraid she’s still sleeping.”

“I would hate to be the one who wakes her up,” He muttered underneath his breath, shaking his head slowly. He flipped through the folder and brought it back to his side.

Richard chuckled, nodding his head supportively. “Can I ask what this is about?”

“Its," He hesitated for a moment, knowing he shouldn't be divulging in this information, but someone needed to help. "It's about Cara.”

“Cara?” Richard repeated, a heavy sigh coming off his lips. “Right.” He held the door open. “Please, come in. I can wake up Hadley.”

“Thanks,” The officer slowly strode into the apartment, the familiarity drawing him to the living room. “Uh, I don’t think we’ve met,” He turned slowly, dropping the folder onto the coffee table. “Max Braddy.”

Richard nodded his head, now understanding the hesitation. _Max._ “It’s a pleasure, Max. Richard Armitage.”

They shook hands cooly, anxiety now flowing through both of their bodies, trying to maintain a certain level of cool to their actions. _The new boyfriend and the ex. How appropriate._

“Please, sit.” Richard motioned to the leather chair across from the couch. “Is there anything that I can help you with before I have to go wake her up?”

Max chuckled nervously. “I’m just trying to figure out why Cara no longer resides here with Hadley,”

“Well, last weekend, Cara announced that she was moving in with her boyfriend and quitting her job.” Richard rested in the corner of the couch after picking up his cup of coffee. “Would you like some coffee or anything? I apologize for not asking sooner,”

“No,” Max shook his head. “No, I’m fine, thank you though. This boyfriend of Cara's - Micah Andrews - do you know much about him?”

“I can’t say that I do. I only met him once, and it was very brief. He attempted to keep her by herself the entire time, which at the time I thought was normal, but now..." Richard shook his head slowly.

Max lifted his head quickly. "But what about now?"

"Hadley went to New York a few weeks ago, and Cara was supposed to go with her, but at the last minute... Micah told her she couldn't go." Richard crossed his arms across his chest lightly.

Max took the folder from the coffee table and slid a pen from his front pocket. He began writing the details in a hurry, his fingers scribbling as quickly as they would allow. "Can I speak with Hadley now?"

"I'll go get her." Richard rose from the couch and made his way to the master suite. He ascended the stairs slowly with a heavy heart - the last thing that he wanted to do was to wake up Hadley on an early Monday morning to bring her face to face with the man who broke her heart, who has pertinent information regarding her troubled best friend.

He lowered himself on the side of the bed carefully and peeled back the thick blanket; revealing her in her natural, messy haired, naked glory. He pressed his hand against the small of her back, running his fingertips up her spine lightly, invoking a pleading a groan.

"Just a few more minutes," She mumbled, burrowing her head underneath the mountain of pillows.

"I'm afraid you have a visitor downstairs who needs to speak with you." He brushed the mass of curls from her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "It's important."

She rolled onto her back, stretching her arms and legs tightly. "Who's downstairs?" She sat up slowly and yawned, the daunting task of speaking to someone other than Richard this early in the morning bringing a twist to her stomach.

Richard hesitated. "Uh," He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Max Braddy."

"Max?" She furrowed her eyebrows tightly, a pain of anxiety soaring through her chest. "Why is here?"

He shrugged his shoulders lightly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "It's something about Cara, I don't know what exactly."

"This is exactly how I wanted to start a Monday morning..." She sighed heavily, throwing the covers from her body and strutting out of her warm, soft bed.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you, but I believe it's important." His gaze drifted towards her curves as she made her way into the closet and pulled on a pair of leggings and a simple gray t-shirt.

“Oh, don’t apologize, Richard.” She slowly made her way to the bathroom, rubbing her hands quickly over her arms. “Why is it so cold in here?”

He chuckled. “Because you prefer to live as a vampire. Your cardigan is around here somewhere, I’ll bring it downstairs for you.”

“Where are you going?” She inquired through the foam of her toothpaste, leaning up against the door frame. She continued to watch as he made his way to the stairs, his eyes heavy with confusion and worry.

“To make you some coffee and eggs.” He caught her gaze from the staircase and smiled, giving her the small amount of reassurance that she needed.

Hadley ascended the stairs slowly, never wanting to come face to face with the man who broke her heart ever again. But here he was, sitting in her living room, drinking her coffee, acting as if nothing was wrong and everything was just... peachy. She rolled her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen, the dreaded Monday morning already wearing her down. Richard caught her attention and nodded towards the thick violet cardigan on the back of the barstool and she pulled it on. “Here,” He handed her a cup of coffee and nodded towards the living room. “The quicker you get in there, the quicker you get out.” He kissed her quickly and continued making her scrambled eggs.

Groaning, she made her way into the living room and sat on the end of the couch, across from Max’s dark gaze. The way she looked at it, she had two options: she could either be cordial, ha; or she could be her usual charming self. Thankfully for Max, she chose the latter.

“Hadley, it’s good to see you,”

“Oh, cut the bullshit.” Hadley interrupted him immediately and took a sip of the steaming cup of coffee in her hands. She heard Richard chuckle from the kitchen which erupted a sparkle in her eyes - she loved to hear that man laugh.

"Sorry, Hadley, I,” Max leaned up in the chair and brought the file folder to the coffee table in front of him, his confidence slowly dwindling, unable to proceed as he usually would. He winced as he asked the question. “What happened with Cara?”

Hadley sighed. “I don’t know. I think it’s this guy she’s dating, he’s totally controlling and she just gives into him at a moments notice.”

“So, without warning, she just tells you she’s moving out and quitting her job?” Honestly, he was just trying to understand the situation - the last thing he wanted to do was to get involved with Hadley again, whether it was physical or emotionally. He couldn't handle another hole in his heart.

She nodded her head slowly and took another sip of coffee. “That’s exactly how it happened.”

“There must have been some reason, Hadley.” The frustration was tight in his voice as he tried to put the bits and pieces together in his mind.

She sat the cup of coffee down on the table beside her and sighed heavily, the action becoming a usual statement to her voice. “Look, Max. I’ve thought about this situation more times than I can count; replayed every scenario that I’ve had with her in the past six months. Nothing jumps out at me as to why this happened, so if there’s a reason, I can't see it.”

He watched as the tears slowly began to form in her eyes, and his heart began to grow soft. “Okay, Hadley.” He turned his attention to Richard, in his hand a bowl of freshly scrambled eggs. He handed them to Hadley and sat next to her. “I was on a domestic disturbance call last night." Max stopped and took hold of her gaze. "Hadley, is there anything that you want to tell me?”

_Of course. He always knew._ Hadley shook her head slowly, attempting to sound out the words but nothing came available. Instead, she began eating her eggs, dropping her gaze to the bowl in her hands.

Richard turned towards her quickly. “Hadley,” He begged for her to open up and tell him what was going on; obviously Max knew something that he didn’t, which killed him. He obviously had so much more to learn about her and her actions, and it only made him want to drop everything to just be there for her. Something had to be the matter, and he wanted her to come to him with her worries and thoughts. Time, He thought to himself. It's just going to take time.

“Did he touch you?” Max’s eyebrows rose as he awaited her answer, matching the tone of his voice.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “No,”

“So then what happened, Hadley? You have to tell me so I can figure this out.”

Hadley sat the bowl of half eaten eggs next to her cup of coffee and turned towards Richard, placing her hand on his forearm, silently requesting his full attention. “When I was in New York, I spoke with Cara's parents. They were worried because they hadn’t heard from her and when she wouldn’t return their calls, they called me and wanted to know how she was doing. So, I told them that she wasn’t taking her medication nor seeing Dr. Roberts, which was worrisome. Apparently, after I talked to them, they called her and left her a message about the conversation that we just had, which Micah somehow got ahold of.”

Max cleared his throat, interrupting her. “And that’s when he came over here and had a conversation with you.”

Hadley nodded, her gaze remaining intent on Richard. “After I got back from New York, Micah decided to stop by my apartment. He requested that I never see nor speak to her or her family, ever again."

Richard's eye grew wide. “Hadley, why didn't you tell me?"

She tilted her head towards her right shoulder, a sigh on her lips but she held it back. She was tired of the simple action defining her mood. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Hadley, sweetheart, that's not bothering me, that's letting me know..." He trailed off, bringing his arm to the back of the couch behind her. "That's why you didn't want to be alone with him when he came to pick up the rest of Cara's belongings." He shook his head slowly as the silence to his question was an answer in itself.

Nervously shifting his weight around in the chair, Max looked up at the two people in front of him. "Did he threaten you?"

Hadley shrugged. "Not technically; he just told me to never speak to her again or else he'd make sure neither one of us could speak again."

"Hadley, that's a threat," Richard turned towards her quickly, shaking his head. _This was not how he wanted to start the day._

She turned to look at Max, her brows furrowed. "Is it?"

Max shook his head and smiled softly. Out of all three people in this room, he was the one who knew the most about Hadley and how she thought. "Yes, Hadley, that's a threat." She was the smartest person that he knew, but human nature and emotion was never her strong suit.

Finally gathering the courage rising from her chest, Hadley glanced at the file folder on the coffee table. "What happened? To Cara?"

Max swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched her intently, so focused on Cara rather than her own life. "From what I can piece together, they got in a fight, she called the cops, but by the time we got there she changed her mind. Said it was nothing, she overreacted. Didn't see any visible bruises or marks so I had to take her word for it."

Feeling the tears well in her eyes once again, Hadley shook her head. "And you just left her there?"

"Hadley, I had to take her word for it. She told me that nothing was wrong, that it was all a mistake. I couldn't arrest him when she couldn't admit the truth."

Bringing a hand to her cheek, she wiped the tears from her skin. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You need to be there for her when she realizes that she needs to get out, because trust me, she will realize it. But I worry about you, though. I don't trust this guy, I don't like the way he's treated you, I don't like anything about him or his manipulative ways. Why don't you stay with him for a while?" He nodded his head towards Richard. "This fight they had, Hadley, it was about you."

She furrowed her brows. "About me?"

"When I got Cara alone, albeit it was only for a few minutes, she mentioned that it was about you. She wanted to come see you, talk to you, and he wouldn't let her. Said that she didn't need that negativity in her life anymore." He shook his head adamantly. "But look, I don't want him coming over here to talk to you again, alright? Something's not right here and I'd rather keep you safe." He looked over at Richard, as if he needed backup to convince Hadley to leave her apartment for a few days.

Shrugging his shoulders and laying a supportive hand on her shoulder, Richard smiled at her. "It might be a good idea, Hadley."

"Look, you have nothing to worry about, okay? We're just trying to keep you safe so we can get a handle on this situation." Max stood from his seat and took the folder from the table. "Just think about it, Hadley."

The two men both made their way out of the living room, stopping at the front door. Max took out a business card from his pocket and handed it to Richard. "If you need me, have questions... Don't hesitate to call."

Richard shut the door behind him and made his way back into the living room. He pressed his hands to his hips and narrowed his eyes. "Hadley, what am I going to do with you?"

She cocked an eyebrow, her gaze falling onto his cocky attitude and towering structure. "Professor,"

He chuckled. "That is my occupation." He sat on the coffee table in front of her and took her hands in his. "Hadley, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to bother you." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the smooth skin. "You're never a bother, Hadley. You're important to me and I care about what happens to you."

She smiled at him. "You're going to be late."

"Pack some things to stay with me for about a week and I'll be back around 11. We'll grab some lunch, go back to my house. It'll be fun." He winked at her. "It'll be like a mini vacation."

"A mini vacation?" She chuckled, dropping her head. _This was her home, her place of solitude. And now she was just supposed to leave? Although temporary it was still hard to swallow._

"Bring as much stuff as you want. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible."

She smiled. "Thanks, Richard. I appreciate that."

"I know you do." He leaned over and kissed her quickly. "I'll see you in a few hours, alright? Everything's going to be fine."

"Yeah," She mumbled. _Everything's going to be just fine._


	18. Chapter 18

**eighteen**

Four weeks had passed without any sign of Micah and Cara, which only seemed to worry Hadley more and more each day. Max, of course, had overreacted, but with the best of intentions. She completely understood where both he and Richard were coming from, and happily obliged for their sanity.

October had brought nothing but a thickening heat and terrible thunderstorms, as well as a new assistant and a deeper relationship with Richard - which she would never complain about. She began to care for him deeply, her heart finally healing after years of torture and abuse. She learned she had to forgive Max, which she did, reluctantly.

Her newest book, his transgressions, is releasing in the next week, and she couldn’t be more proud of her work. It was a simple story about a man who lost his family and had to hit rock bottom in order to see everything clearly; and with the help of his therapist had began to make sense of it all and slowly rise to his feet with a strict vengeance. Richard, Jack, and Ethan couldn’t put it down, and claimed that it was “her best work yet”, which she shyly shrugged off, simply because it wasn’t a work of Kate Carlyle, but of Hadley Faraday.

The heavy footsteps echoed throughout the hall brought her from the trance her laptop had persuaded. “Richard?” She cut her eyes towards the staircase, expecting to see his dark head of hair pop up before her at any moment.

“Yes, love?” Richard had stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and after his instincts kicked in, took another one for Hadley. He hadn’t expected to stay with her tonight, but he just felt so torn whenever he left her, as if life were so unfair keeping them apart.

_Unless..._

Hadley smiled at his words and slowly fading accent, somehow always pulling her heart strings just right. “Why are you so late?” She glanced at the clock on the laptop and sighed - she knew the reason why.

He smiled sheepishly as he made his way up the stairs and sat his messenger bag on the couch. “Professor McDonald asked if I would take over his Introductory night course.” His shoulders shrugged at her silent reaction, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

_Of course._ “Richard,” Her tone grew weary. “You need to learn to say no.” And he did - except to her. He never wanted to say no to that woman.

He chuckled. “I know, it’s a terrible feat.” He sat down the bottles of water on the table beside the bed and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

She closed her laptop protectively and slid it into the drawer of the same table Richard had discarded his water, in an effort to purge the thoughts from her mind - if that was even possible.

Richard sat down in the leather chair across from the bed, his gaze settling on her sitting indian style in the middle of the bed, the soft blanket draped across her knees. “Were you writing?” He smiled at his question, excited for the thought that she was beginning to work again - or rather, her mind was _letting_ her work again.

“Hmm?” She glanced at the laptop and back to him, obviously avoiding the inquiry. She never realized that she did such things, as she always preferred to keep quiet inside her mind, rather than let anyone else in, for the fear of being hurt was much too great.

“You heard me.” His tone was curt, which startled her at first, then she relaxed after realizing he was only trying to capture her attention completely.

She rolled her eyes, her hands skimming across the soft grey comforter adorning her lower legs, the chenille sliding through her fingertips at ease. “Maybe…” She trailed off, watching as he loosened the tie from his neck, an act that was so incredibly sexy, yet she would never intentionally admit it to him - she preferred to keep it natural, rather than as a planned action.

“Maybe? You’ve been doing a lot of work these past few days.” He began taking off his shoes and socks, yet still giving her his full attention. He wanted her to work - anything to get her mind off of the past.

“A title came to me in a dream last week.” She watched him intently, still struggling with the idea of trusting him completely. “And I didn’t know what to think about it, honestly. So I started writing everything that came to mind and started an outline for the entire premise… But I don’t know if its worth continuing. I don’t want to put everything I have into something unless I know it’s worth my time.”

“Sometimes putting everything you have into something makes it completely worth it.” He smiled at her supportively, pulling the tie from around his neck and wrapping it around his hands in a repetitive motion. “What’s the title?”

She watched as he threw the tie onto a pile of his bags in the corner, a quick thought popping into her mind - _should she give him a drawer? A shelf? Space in the closet? Ah, hell, maybe that would scare him off._ “The Dead House.”

“The Dead House,” He repeated, furrowing his brows tightly. “Sounds terrifying.” _Maybe that’s what she needed._

She chuckled. “It is, actually. I keep having these vivid dreams about it, and it’s creepy, yet romantic in a way. I’m still not sure exactly what I think about it.”

“Creepy yet romantic… Sounds sort of like ‘muting the stars’.”

She raised her eyebrows at the mention of her third novel, a smirk revealing her curiosity. “So you have read it.”

He leaned back into the chair, the worn leather squeaking under his weight. “I’ve read everything you’ve wrote. And since you are Kate Carlyle, I have indeed read ‘muting the stars’. A few times actually, I didn’t quite understand it the first time.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, it wasn’t my best work.”

“What? It was bloody fantastic! I just didn’t think about anything else going on in the story, rather than them getting off the highway. I didn’t put it all together, but when I read it a second time, everything pieced together and I realized that it went over my head.” He smiled at her. “You’re a literary genius, you know that right?”

“A literary genius…” She repeated, tapping her index finger against her chin. “I like the way that sounds.” She cocked an eyebrow and unfolded her legs, stretching them out in front of her.

“So, is this work a Hadley Faraday or a Kate Carlyle?” He pressed his palms against the armrests of the chair in preparation of standing from the comfortable place of refuge, his favorite chair in her entire home. Worn, molded perfectly to his body, hit his lower back at just that right spot...

She dropped her gaze to the blanket spread before her, once again running her fingers across the smooth fabric. “I think this style of writing is more Kate Carlyle,” She nodded her head slowly, thinking about the repercussions of using her alter ego rather than her one true self.

"Is that alright with you?" He stood from the chair and stopped in front of the bed, his fingers unbuttoning the small white buttons on his shirt.

She watched him with a deep desire, as there was nothing sexier than a man having a good hearted conversation with a woman, whom he only wanted the best for. "Yes," She admitted with a smile, "it's fine." She pushed the covers from her lap and met him at the end of the bed, her knees planted firmly on the thick quilt. She took over for his fingers, unbuttoning the remaining white buttons and pulling the crisp cotton from his torso. "I've learned that she's not an enemy, instead a presence inside my mind that allows me to think deeper and wiser."

He placed his hands on her shoulders, sliding them slowly down her body until he reached her hips, which he gripped tightly. "Remind me to thank Dr. Roberts for allowing your mind to think so freely." He planted a kiss on her forehead and smiled as he watched her fingers unbutton and unzip his olive trousers. "Is there something you want, Miss Faraday?"

"Yes," She pushed the thick cotton off his hips and looked up at him, her eyes sparkling devilishly. "I need you, Professor."

He grabbed a fistful of material from the tank dress covering her body and pulled it off her quickly. "Tell me what you need, Miss Faraday." Taking a step back and admiring her naked body in front of him, he had to remind himself to take a deep breath before he took her completely in the next three seconds.

She dropped her arms to her side as her eyes softened, she needed to feel safe, to feel comfortable, to feel… _loved_. "I need you to make love to me." She blinked heavily and continued. “Softly. And slowly. And passionately. I just need you.”

In one quick motion, he wrapped his arms around her and pushed her back onto the bed, his lips kissing her passionately and his hands exploring every inch of her body. He needed to witness everything about her - from the way her skin tasted to the way it felt on his tongue to the way it prickled at his sensitive touch. He needed to be sensitive and slow and take his time and enjoy the little things that drove her (and him) insane.

It seemed like hours, as he laid on top of her, kissing her sweetly and spreading her thighs with one hand; his fingertips brushing up against her folds and swollen bud, only to land back on her hip, pressing her gently against the bed. He'd continue his trail of kisses across her abdomen and up her chest, taking sweet time with her breasts and nipples, and finally land his lips against hers. His fingertips traced every inch of skin that was visible, wanting to remember everything about her.

The passion continued to fuel the fire pooling in her belly, until she just couldn't take it anymore and pleaded with him, her voice low and her tone urgent. "Please Richard, I need to feel you,"

He pulled his boxer briefs down his thighs, her feet pushing them off his legs and onto the floor. "What do you need to feel?" He pressed his chest against hers and kissed her deeply.

She moaned at the feel of his cock rubbing against her center, teasing her with how hard he was and how ready she was for him. "I need to feel your cock, Richard, please. I need to have you fill me up completely and make me come over and over again,"

He leaned in close as he listened to her, the tip of their noses touching. He slid his right hand from the top of her head and onto the bed beside her, trailing it down her shoulder and finally to her hip, where he took ahold of it tightly, positioning them just right.

A soft moan rolled off her lips as he entered her slowly, her slick arousal making him want to turn her over onto her stomach and fuck her until she screamed that she couldn’t take it anymore, but both of them needed this: they needed to feel close, to feel sweet, to feel loved.

He dropped his head to the crook of her neck, placing light kisses along her jaw and down her neck. She ran her fingers through his hair, from the little curls on the nape of his neck to his crown, where she twisted his strands tightly against his scalp.

His thrusts were never too hard or too erratic, in fact, they were just perfect. Slow and steady and with so much emotion and passion, both of them could hardly speak. Their moans and gasps sufficed as they continued their long and slow fuck, a tear slowly falling out of the corner of her eye.

It was so damn sweet, she could hardly stand it. But it was perfect. And perfect was what they needed.

*****

Sitting at her desk in her office, Hadley peered through her glasses onto the screen in front of her, attempting to piece together all of her notes and outlines that she had for her newest adventure. She was still unsure as to whether this was a good decision or not, but she decided to bite the bullet and do it anyways.

_'Fuck it,’_ She told Richard earlier this morning over breakfast. _‘Why not?’_

Her phone rang beside her, the number unfamiliar. She picked it up gently, furrowing her brows. She didn’t know who it was and really didn’t want to be bothered, but a feeling deep in her gut told her to answer the phone regardless.

The unknown voice on the other end of a line came through in a rush. “Miss Faraday? Hadley Faraday?”

Hadley’s breathing quickened. _Oh God_. "This is Hadley Faraday," She confirmed, the anxiety and worry tightening around her chest.

“This is Dr. Warren and I work at Seton Northwest Hospital. Do you know where that is?”

“Uh, yes, yes, I do.” _Oh shit._ She sprang from the chair quickly, attempting to remember where she put her keys and wallet - and pants, she needed pants.

“Great. I need you to get here as soon as possible. We’ve had a patient come in from a trauma and you’re their emergency contact.”

Her heart sank, praying for the best outcome despite the pit in her stomach. She ran through a list of names, those she cared about more than herself, and prayed it was a mistake. “Oh God. Who is it?”

“Cara Holloway.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI; mentions domestic violence.

**nineteen**

Taking a moment to compose herself while standing at the entrance to Seton Northwest Hospital, Hadley let a deep sigh fall from her lips before grasping the metal door pull in her hands tightly. She didn’t know what had happened nor how extensive Cara's injuries were, and frankly, all she wanted to do was to get her hands around Micah’s neck.

His name was written all over this situation, whether she could prove it or not didn’t matter, she just knew. She needed this time to think - to cool off - to compose herself, as the last thing that she wanted Cara to see was how furious she was. She needed to be comforting, nurturing... everything she usually wasn't.

Before she had a chance to stop herself, Hadley stepped through the curtain and made her way towards Cara's bedside, hesitating at the sight before her. Her heart fell as she studied the lifeless body in the small bed in the center of the room, wondering for just a moment if she was even conscious. The steady beeps of her heart rhythm on the monitor reminded her that she was still in fact alive, yet in a tremendous amount of pain.

The right side of her face looked as if it had been smashed into a window, with tiny bandages covering the countless cuts and scratches strewn about her skin. Her left arm was wrapped tight inside a sling and a small bump was beginning to grow on her forehead. She didn't even want to think about the injuries that you couldn't visibly see.

Hadley took Cara's right hand into her own carefully, where the defensive wounds revealed themselves on her palms. She shook her head and sighed, wondering if there was something that she could have done to prevent this. She knew she shouldn't be feeling so guilty, as that was such a selfish thought to be having right now, but she couldn't help but to think about how different this could have ended.

"Hadley, you came," Cara sounded relieved as she began to wake up from her drug induced state, her voice tight with a startling tone.

Hadley's gaze dropped to Cara as she attempted to speak, the drugs and swollen face causing more difficulty than she realized. "Don't, Cara, it's all right, I'm here now." She stroked her arm carefully, making sure to stay away from the injuries etched deep in her skin.

"Hadley, no, you can't," Cara trailed off with tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were cold and apathetic as they pleaded silently with her.

Shaking off the slight paranoia, Hadley attempted to change the subject, thinking that the drugs were taking more of an effect than she thought. "What happened, Cara?"

“I fell,” Cara managed to whisper, turning her head away from Hadley’s gaze. The last thing she wanted to do was to tell the truth and admit that everything was going _so wrong_ and that she just needed help - but she couldn't.

“Cara, don’t.” Hadley shook her head from side to side, the anger festering in her chest. _How could someone do this to another person?_   “We can get you help, just let me help you, please!” She didn't want to beg nor plead, but she wanted Cara to see that she truly cared and just wanted the best for her.

"I can't!" Cara shook her head furiously, not wanting to look at Hadley directly. "You have to go, Hadley. He's going to be here any minute. You can't stay, he's going to..." She trailed off, tears streaming down her face. "Please Hadley, you have to go."

Hadley choked back the tears and watched as Cara pressed the nurses button frantically. "You mean too much to me; I just can't leave you here like this."

"Hadley, please," Cara began to beg, her chest heaving with thick sobs. "Just go,"

The nurse stepped into the room quickly. "Miss Holloway, is everything alright?" She stepped around to the other side of Cara's bed, checking her vitals.

"She needs to go, she can't be here!" Cara cried out again, this time her voice sent a deeper sense of urgency than what she had heard before.

Hadley pondered on her choices - she didn’t want to leave Cara, but if she didn’t want her there…

The nurse looked over at Hadley. "I think it's best if you go, Miss Faraday. She seems to be growing more upset when you're in the room." She gave Hadley an apologetic glance. "She'll be safe here, in the hospital, where she'll be for at least a week." The nurse nodded her head specifically.

"Thank you," Hadley smiled at her softly and returned her attention to Cara. "I'll be back, Cara, whether you want to see me or not. I need you in my life and I'm going to do whatever it take to make sure nothing else like this happens to you again."

*****

“Hadley,” Richard set the paper he was reading back onto the desk in front of him and sighed. “You’ve got to stop pacing, you’re going to wear out the floorboards.”

Shooting him a narrow glance, Hadley continued pacing in front of his desk in his office at the university. "I can't. It helps me to think."

"Maybe you don't need to be thinking about it so much." He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. "We can only do so much, love."

"But I need to do something for her. To help her, to-" She shook her head dramatically. "I don't know, to do something."

"You can't make her do something that she doesn't want to do. I wish I could tell you something different, Hadley, I do. And I know that you're scared for her right now, and all you can do is just be there when she's ready to leave."

"When she's ready to leave?" Hadley repeated, shaking her head slowly. She groaned. "He put her in the hospital, Richard. It was terrible."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, Hadley. And I know that you want answers, and you want to fix everything..." He trailed off slowly as he watched her stop pacing and come to a rest in front of his desk. "But sometimes you just can't."

She leaned her head back and sighed heavily. "I know, I know. Kidnapping isn't acceptable, neither is murder." She dropped her arms to her side. "I'm not a patient person. Someone I love is being hurt, and it tears me apart knowing that I can't do anything about it." She sank down into the leather chair across from him and sighed again.

Richard attempted to speak, but stopped himself quickly. He stood from his chair and made his way towards her. "I know. And unfortunately, there's not much we can do without her testimony, which she won't give because she refuses to leave him." He leaned onto the edge of his desk and crossed his arms across his chest. "Max and Jack are looking into a few things while we're gone to New York, and hopefully it will be enough to rectify this entire situation. I just need your trust, and your patience, alright? It’s not going to be easy.”

Hadley sighed dramatically. “Alright.”

*****

Richard slid onto the marble bathroom countertop, watching as the hair stylist put the finishing touches on Hadley. “I’ve been thinking.” He brought his gaze to her crossed legs, the hem of her dress floating delicately against that sweet spot on her thighs where modesty and indecency met.

Hadley smiled softly, watching the concentration furrow on his brow. “Should I be worried?” She readjusted her legs in the barstool carefully, enjoying the thrill of his gaze.

He chuckled and continued anyways. “Why did you leave New York?”

“Austin was home, and after my dad’s accident, I felt like I needed to be there.” She nodded her head slowly, as if to remind herself as to why she was still living in Austin. It was her home, but now...

“But what about now? Does Austin still feel like home?”

She shrugged, wondering how he had achieved the gift of mind reading. “Sort of. It has a lot of memories, that's for sure.”

“But so does New York.”

She nodded slowly, meeting his strict gaze. “Yes, I was born here, received my education here... It means a lot to me."

“Have you ever thought about moving back here?”

She furrowed her brow tightly, the mere thought of moving back to New York, being, well, she didn’t know what to think about it. Before she even had a chance to sit back and think about it, she blurted out the words that left her speechless and him overjoyed. “But what about you?”

“What about me? Hadley,” He chuckled softly. “I’m here for you. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do.”

She nodded her head slowly, retaining the information in her mind. "I just don't know how I'd feel being in New York without you, to be honest."

"Well, I'm sure there are a few places I could look at for employment." He held back a smile, obviously knowing something that she didn’t.

She chuckled. "A few?” She shook her head slowly and sighed. “You really want to move here, don’t you?"

"I'd have to think about it, you know, but I have no one holding me there. This city reminds me a lot of London, only... Dirtier." He chuckled and winked at her.

She scoffed. "Don't you dare say such atrocious things!"

"I'm only kidding.” He slid back off the counter and shrugged his shoulders. “Just think about it, Hadley.”

*****

Inside Hadley’s book launch, after the speeches and the rounds of applause, she had somehow managed to find the most corner table, away from all the noise and excitement, to be at one with her mind. She had honestly never had the thought of moving back to New York, but now… it didn’t seem like it would be that bad. It might even be good for her, if she would let it.

“I planted a seed in your mind, didn’t I?” Richard stood beside the chair she was sitting in and laid his drink on the pub table in front of them.

She chuckled, playing with the teal napkin under her drink. “You did.” She nodded her head slowly and kept her gaze focused on the white rose centerpieces. “It’s just,” She sighed and took a sip of her whiskey. “I feel like I hardly know you, and you plant this seed in my mind about moving back here, which I didn’t know how much I wanted to do until you mentioned it. And my first thought was of you.”

“I’m not asking you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, Hadley. You know that I would never intentionally do that. I just want you to be happy, and I know how much you love it here. It made sense in my mind, and I hope it came across the right way.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “I know.”

After all of the autographs and the conversations and the introductions, she was exhausted. She just wanted to go back to her apartment overlooking Central Park and curl up with a good book - preferably in Richard’s arms. She loved being an author, but she always seemed to forget that while most of her job was sitting behind a computer, there were those times where she had to show herself in public and be a good little girl for her publishing company. She could always turn it on at the right moment, but when it became too much, there was nothing that she could do to turn it off.

“You know, Hadley, I have to be honest with you here.” Richards left hand took hold of the back of the chair she was sitting in, and he leaned in close. “About a year ago, I wanted a change, so I submitted my resume to a few other universities, including Duke and Columbia. Well,” He glanced down at her for her reaction and was pleasantly surprised when he found she was hanging on to every word he spoke. “I was offered a tenure position at Columbia University starting in the Spring.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the delay - enjoy!

**twenty**

Rolling over onto her side, Hadley adjusted her eyes to the glowing alarm clock on the small table by the bed and sighed desperately when she saw the time was only 3:12am. She had to admit, although she did miss the sights of New York City, the sounds... not so much.

Between the continuous sirens of police cars and fire trucks, the horns of impatient taxi drivers, and conversations of random strangers perusing the streets, she couldn't quite adjust to the sensory overload surrounding her from all angles.

She rolled onto her back and re-adjusted the covers, knowing full well that she wasn't going to be getting any more sleep tonight. Err, this morning. Today. _Whatever._

"Does it ever stop?" A mumbled groan erupted from Richards lips.

She chuckled. "Does what ever stop?"

"The noise," He furrowed his brows tightly, attempting to cover his head with the thick comforter.

"No," She turned onto her side, facing him completely and laid a hand on his cheek, stroking the stubbled skin gently. "You learn to live with it."

"It is excruciating," He turned onto his back and glanced over at her, letting his eyes linger on her bare shoulders. "You've been quiet this evening,"

"Have I?" She raised her eyebrows innocently and shrugged her shoulders. "Out of habit, I guess." _She wasn't fooling anyone._

"Well, would you like to talk it out?" He leaned up against the headboard and sighed. “It’s not like either one of us will be getting any sleep tonight.”

Hadley turned her head towards him quickly. "Talk it out?" She swallowed the lump growing in her throat. No, she didn’t want to “talk it out”...

He nodded his head firmly. "I know it's weighing on your mind, Miss Faraday. I also know that you’re a tad upset and usually it helps to talk these things out. With someone else, other than yourself.”

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, it is weighing on my mind; I've just honestly never thought about moving back." Her gaze was met with his intently. "It's not that big of a deal, you know. The great thing about my job is the fact that I can work from anywhere. My publisher, my editor... Everyone is here. It's just..."

"You have a lot of good memories in Austin and you don't want to leave them behind." He smiled at her. "It's alright, Hadley. I'm talking about this with you because you're important to me and I take your opinions seriously."

She chuckled. "I know you're excited about this opportunity, and it's a big accomplishment for you. Certainly you're not basing your decision on whether or not I want to move back?"

He brought his hand to her cheek and cupped it gently. "Oh darling, of course not. I've already accepted the position." He grazed his thumb across the bridge of her nose. "I would be extremely grateful if you would do me the honor of just thinking about it. Weigh your pros and cons, and don't base it on me. Base it on what you want to do with the rest of your life."

She nodded her head slowly, sliding up to rest on the headboard beside him. “What DO I want to do for the rest of my life?” She tapped her index finger slowly against her chin.

“You’re a twenty nine year old accomplished author, with an incredibly gifted mind. Not to mention a great listener and an even better friend. You care for people, you want to help people.” He smiled at her. “And, you give amazing blowjobs.”

She cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, I'll make sure to put that on my resume."

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "What? I'd hire you."

*****

Hadley dropped her gaze from the keyboard of her Mac to watch as Richard slept peacefully beside her. His chest rose and fell with each soothing breath, one hand behind his head and the other resting comfortably on his bare stomach. The dark stubble resonated on his face and the soft crinkles formed on the corners of his eyes, highlighting his statuesque features. She couldn't stop staring at him, taking everything in about him, never wanting to forget every single detail that defined him.

Never once had she felt as if their relationship had progressed too fast or too strong; the two had a deep bond that neither could explain from day one. It sounded like something in a movie, she once chuckled to Jack. Their connection always, somehow, became easy: all they had to do was look at each other and spend a few minutes in silence, and it was as if something just clicked.

She hated how easy it always seemed with the two, as most relationships had to be worked on and compromised with. Yet, with them, they could always curl up so perfectly with a good book or a TV show, his hand always falling around her and her head resting comfortably on his chest - as if it were made perfectly for her.

Although she would never forget the things he said to her and did to her as her professor, she forgave him in a way that pleased them both; Where they were both able to move on from the situation with a clean slate and an open heart. The beginning of their relationship, student and professor, was a terrible one, one that he still thinks about often even after she forgave him.

But still, she was worried.

And hurt.

Yet most of all, she felt alone.

*****

Jack handed Hadley a steaming mug of coffee and sat next to her on the plush outdoor couch. "Have you thought about it?"

"I have," She took the mug in her hands and brought it to her lips slowly. "He's going whether I want to or not, you know."

"He's thinking about himself, and his career. You can't get upset with him for that." Jack turned his gaze to the buildings that surrounded them on all sides - he always loved this view of downtown Austin.

She took a sip of the black liquid elixir and chuckled. "Oh, trust me, I'm not. It's more... I'm more upset with myself, frankly. Opening up to someone who I thought I could trust, who has been lying to me from the start."

"He wasn't lying, Had. Just..." He sighed heavily, knowing that no matter what he said, she already had her own opinions of.

"Just didn't tell me." She shot Jack a sideways glance and sighed. "He's known for months. Right after John's vow renewals."

"Maybe he thought that he could open you up, get you to see things differently." _He was so damn frustrated._ "You have an apartment there, Hadley. There's nothing here for you anymore. I just wish," He shook his head. "I just wish you would see the potential that you have! When you're in New York, things happen, you have this different aura about you. You need that place!"

Hadley took a sip of her coffee, keeping the warm mug tightly in her hands. "What do you think I should do?"

"Do you really want me to be honest, Hadley?"

She nodded. "Yes. I do."

"I think you should go."

*****

"You lied to me." Hadley pulled her legs underneath her on the couch, sighing in desperation. "I know you think it's okay, but,"

Sitting across from her on the coffee table, Richard took her hands in his. "I know, Hadley. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I just,"

"But why?"

"Because I knew if I told you, you would've pushed me away." He smiled at her supportively, knowing that it was the truth.

She scoffed. _Of course she would have._ She opened her mouth to repeat the same words, but she couldn't, so she quickly closed it.

"If you really don't want me to go, I won't."

She tore her hands from his grip and crossed her arms across her chest. "That's not fair, Richard. Then you'll blame me for stopping you, which will be held over my head for as long as I'll be alive."

"No, it would be my voice in the end. I'd never do something like that to you." He took her hands again, this time holding them a bit tighter. "You have such potential, Hadley, and I'm trying to show you that. The talent that comes out of your fingertips and your mind... It's incredible, love." He kissed her fingertips softly, leaving her with a soft smile and sparkling gaze.

She managed to return a small smile.

"I'm trying to get you to open up, see things differently. Expand your mind, your comfort zone. Everything. The last thing I want to do is to force you to make a decision that you aren't comfortable with, you know that right?"

"I know," She nodded her head solemnly. "It's just, I keep going back and forth between the two. I feel guilty if I leave Cara here, all alone. That's the only logical reason I can come up with to stay here."

He smiled at her supportively. "Hadley, I-"

The loud, boisterous knocks pounded on her front door quickly. Richard held up one finger and smiled at her. "I'm not done with you yet. So don't move."

Hadley smiled and leaned back into the couch, silently wondering if she was coming down on him too hard. If this was all just a misunderstanding. If she was acting too childish. _She just didn't know._

Richard brought their dinner to the dining room table and made his way back towards the couch. "Hadley. Listen to me for a second, alright?" He took her hands once again, this time hoping for a more direct touch. "I love what I do. It's not just my career, it's my life. Do you want to know how many universities sent me an offer? Five. Five universities wanted me to come work for them, and they were all over. California, Oxford, Duke, Boston. Do you know why I chose Columbia?" She shook her head slowly, not wanting to come face to face with the real reason quite yet. "I've always dreamed of working for an Ivy League school. I now have the opportunity, and I knew that it wouldn't be difficult convincing you to move back to where you grew up. And Hadley, as much as you may or may not want to hear it, I'm falling for you, and I'm going to need you with me."

"Richard," She shook her head slowly, the tears fighting their way to her eyes.

"I didn't want to have to beg you, Hadley, I didn't. Because that's not fair to you, but,"

"Richard," Her voice was more urgent, begging for his attention. She shook her head again, hoping for the words to come easier. "When are we leaving?"


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end has finally arrived for Hadley and Richard, and although it was terribly difficult writing it, this leg of their amazing journey has come to an end. There will be more to come... eventually... but for now, I hope you enjoy their "happily ever after"... or is it? ;)

**twenty-one**

**december**

“I just feel so helpless,” Hadley sighed heavily, wrapping her fingers around the steaming cup of coffee. “I don’t want to sound as if I’m being selfish, but, I know she needs help, and I just,”

Max smiled at her from across the table of the small cafe. “I know you do, Had. And I also know that you are anything but selfish, trust me.” He sighed and lowered his voice. “There’s a certain section thats a part of the family services division. It keeps a watch out on those we have flagged for possible abuse victims. We can’t act without being told to, or of course there’s reason, but…” He took a sip of his coffee. “She’s being watched, trust me.”

“That makes me feel a little better.” She sighed heavily. “But, what about when she wants help? If she comes to me and says she needs to get away? How am I supposed to deal with that?”

“There’s a program. I can’t give you the name, or the location, for security reasons. But, with a few calls, I could get her into it. She would be sent to an unknown location, where she’ll not only get a chance to start over, but she can get the psychological help to build her back up to her potential.”

“So, sort of like, witness protection?”

Max nodded his head slowly. “Sort of. They don’t get government funding, nor do they have the capability to protect each person individually, but… they’re given a chance to get away. Because we both know, Hadley, these guys won’t stop. Even if they’re sent to prison, once they get out… they go right back to it.”

Hadley scoffed. “And that’s even if they get sent to prison in the first place.”

“Exactly.” Max took a long sip of his coffee and slid the empty cup away from him. “I’m proud of you, Hadley. You’ve grown in such a way, that I know your dad would be so proud.”

She managed a weak smile. “Thanks,” She dropped her gaze to the table, letting her eyes take a break from the emotions plaguing at her heart. “I’m selling his house, you know.”

Max raised his eyebrows. “You’re selling his house? I didn’t think you’d ever…”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t want to let go of it because I grew up there, and it has so many memories. But, I didn’t want some other kids to miss that opportunity because I couldn’t get over his death.”

“I think you’re making the right choices, Hadley.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing, reluctantly. “I think… that guy you’re with. I think he’s good for you, too. I was reluctant, when Jack mentioned you were thinking of moving back to New York, but, I think you need it. You belong there, kid.”

She nodded her head slowly. “Yeah… thanks.” She took the last few sips from her coffee and eyed the trash can. “So… you’ll let me know if you hear anything about Cara?”

“Absolutely.” He cleared his throat. “Now, Hadley, you realize… if she makes that decision, and wants to take my offer…” He sighed. “She can’t contact you. You won’t know where she is, only that she’s okay. It’s for her protection.”

She smiled at him softly. “Max, I’d rather not know where she is and know that she is okay; rather than know where she is, and know that she is not okay.”

*****

Richard smiled as he watched Hadley come through the door of his office, a coffee in each hand. “And what do I owe this pleasure?” He rose from the desk and met her with a kiss. He took the coffee from her outstretched hand and pointed to the lone chair in the room.

“I just met with Max, and just wanted to stop by,” She sat down in the leather chair in front of his desk, her eyes gliding around the bare office. “It’s so empty.”

He chuckled. “Yes, I know. I hate having to hear the echo of my voice every time I speak.” He took a sip of coffee. “How did the closing go this morning?”

She smiled. “It went fine. I took one last look around my dad’s house, and that was that.” Her heart ached at the thought. “But,” She cleared her throat and shook her head fearlessly. “I was thinking, with that money, I could upgrade apartments in the city.”

“An apartment, possibly, on the 20th or so floor of an elegant building?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, before I forget,” Richard pulled out his iphone. “The movers are coming to start packing up the rest of your apartment today at 2. They’re going to start marking everything and getting it ready for this weekend.”

“Good. I have a list of all the furniture that was sold with my apartment, a list for what needs to be packed and taken to storage in New York, and a list for items that need to be taken to the apartment in New York.”

He smiled. “Good girl. Now, what about all the furniture that's already there?”

She groaned. “I hated that stuff anyways. So my assistant is up there now, she knows what I want to keep and what I want to get rid of.” She took a sip of coffee and smiled. “What about you, fancy pants? Still can’t find an apartment near campus?”

This time, it was his turn to groan. “No. And it’s driving me insane. They’re either tiny and disgusting or spacious and worth the price of my liver on the black market.”

She laughed. “Welcome to New York.”

*****

Richard sighed heavily as he continued scrolling through apartments on Zillow, each one only bringing a negative response. He looked over at Hadley silently, his mouth itching to say those little words, but his mind telling him that he _better not push it_.

“Can’t I just move in with you?” _Oy, what did he just do…_

Hadley turned her head towards him slowly, grabbing his attention quickly. She raised her brows, her mind spinning with all the reasons why she had to say no. She closed her laptop firmly, setting it on the table beside her, and leaned against the headboard. “We’ve never talked about that before,”

“I know,” He did the same with his Mac and turned towards her once again. “But maybe its time to have that conversation.”

She stared at him, wide eyed, not a thought or idea on the tip of her tongue.. The simple thought of sharing her apartment with him was just… well… honestly… she didn’t know how she felt about it. “Alright,”

“I didn’t just say that because I simply can’t find a place, Hadley.” He knew what she was thinking already, without her even having to say a word.

“So then… why did you?” He smiled at her.

“Because I love spending time with you. I know, and understand, that there are times where you need to be alone, and truthfully, I’ll need that too. You are very, very, special to me, Miss Faraday, and I intend to show you that every single day of our lives, whether you want me to or not.”

She chuckled.

“I understand that this is a big decision for you, and I don’t expect you to say yes right away. I can have the university set me up a flat close to campus for the time being, or,”

“No,” Hadley shook her head intently. “No. If you want to be with me, and live with me, then let’s do it. I’m tired of feeling like a broken child, who can’t make decisions for herself. I need to,"

"Hadley, I don't consider you to be a broken child."

She sighed. "No, I know that, but that's how I feel about myself. Don't you see, Richard? I keep holding myself back, hiding behind my name, my books... And I'm tired of it." She turned towards him and smiled. "What's the point of dragging my feet and testing the water when I know that the temperature is already perfect?"

Pulling her close, he kissed her on the lips and smile at her. "You have made me a very happy man, Miss Faraday."

*****

"So, you told him you'd move in together... What's next, Hadley?"

Hadley turned towards Jack and laid her head on his shoulder. “You could come to New York. I need a new realtor anyways,” She chuckled and took another sip of wine. “And I’m sure Ethan could find a job somewhere up there.”

“Well, how about for now, we’ll settle on this: when you decide to search for apartments, I’ll come up and be your guide.” He patted her knee and stood from the couch, making his way to the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine.

A light chuckle escaped her lips. "Deal." She watched as he poured more wine into her glass and smiled at him.

"I'm going to miss you like crazy, you know that, right?"

She dropped her gaze. "You don't think I'm moving too fast here, do you?"

Jack sighed and sat back down next to her. "Do you think you're moving too fast?"

She took another sip of wine. "Sometimes. I look back at our relationship and wonder if I moved too quickly, but seeing where we're at now, it's kind of hard to doubt that."

"Exactly. You made those decisions because they felt right, and now, you're basing your trust in that same position." He smiled at her. "So, no, I don't believe you're moving too fast. He's a great guy and even better for you than I ever imagined. Hell, Hadley, you had Max run how many kinds of background checks on him?"

She chuckled. "Enough."

"Did you ever tell him about that?"

"I did," She nodded her head slowly. "He told me that he wasn't surprised."

Jack laughed and turned his attention to the doorbell. "I hope that's our food." He made his way to the door and looked through the peephole before taking a quick step backwards. "Uh, Hadley, you might want to come here for this..."

*****

"Max," Hadley pulled him into her apartment quickly. "What are you doing here?"

He followed Hadley and Jack into her living room, a sigh escaping nervously from his lips. "Cara came into the ER this morning with a dislocated elbow. She somehow managed to get in contact with me,” He shrugged his shoulders and molded into the chair beside them. “She told me she wants out, that she needs help.”

Hadley sighed in relief and took Jack’s hand in hers. "Oh, thank god. What are you doing to help her?"

"Well, right now she's in a hotel room by the airport. Don't worry, she's safe. We are attempting to get her into the program that we talked about it, but it will probably take a few more hours to get everything worked out.” Max held her gaze intently. "She wants to see you, Hadley."

"Then let's go."

Max nodded his head slowly. “Yes, we will. But before…” He trailed off, dropping his gaze to his hands before continuing. “Remember, Hadley. This is the last time you’ll see her… for a very long time. I just want you to be prepared to say goodbye.”

Taking a deep breath, Hadley smiled softly at him. “I’m aware, Max. I have a box of stuff that she left here… can I take it to her?”

“Absolutely,”

“Good.” Hadley stood from the couch and made her way down the hallway, stopping at the doorway to Cara’s old room.

She took a minute before entering, knowing that once she took that box out of the room, there would be no more physical evidence of Cara in that apartment. Everywhere she turned, she was met with paint colors and photographs and memories that she just couldn’t shake, no matter how hard she tried. Cara had been with her for everything - and was always there, every step of the way. How was she supposed to start this new life back in New York when she didn’t have her for support?

Maybe it was time for her to “grow up” and do more on her own, rather than stand behind everyone and wait for it to be done for her. She took the box from the bottom of the closet and rifled through it, making sure a change of clothes and a few other comforting items were still in there - but where else would they have gone?

Jack knocked on the door softly. “You want me to take that for you?” He nodded towards the box and smiled at her. “Yeah, sure,” She closed up the box and handed it to him. “Are you going to be okay, Hadley?”

She gave him a supportive smile. “I’ll do my best, Jack, but right now it’s not about me. I just want to make sure I say the right things, and do the right things, and…”

He sat the box down on the bed and embraced her tightly. “Everything’s going to be fine, Hadley. She’ll get the help she needs to get away, and she’ll always know that you’ll support her, no matter what.”

“Alright,” She took a deep breath and pulled away slowly. “Let’s go support our girl.”

*****

Embracing Cara as tightly as she could without hurting her, Hadley breathed a deep sigh and let the tears fall down her cheeks. “I was so worried about you,”

“Oh, Hadley,” Cara sobbed into her chest dramatically, her entire body shaking with each breath. “I’m so sorry, I wanted to call you, I did, I just,”

Hadley pulled back, her hands gripping Cara’s shoulders tightly. “Cara, love, you’re safe now, okay? That’s all you have to worry about.” She brought one hand to her cheeks, where she wiped away the tears with a tissue. “It’s all going to be okay, we’re going to get this all worked out, and you won’t have to worry about a thing. I promise.”

*****

After putting Cara in the bath, Hadley made her way back out into the small hotel room with a sigh and a heavy heart. She wanted to believe that this wasn’t happening - who could do this to another person? The simple thought would always put a taste of revenge in her mouth after seeing what had happened to the person she loved the most in this world.

A light knock on the door startled the group of three, and Max rose from the bed towards the door. After checking the peephole, he opened the door with a smile.

A petite blond came through the door, a genuine smile pressed against her pink lips.

“Hadley, Jack, this is Dana, she’s a representative of the organization we talked about. She’s here to escort Cara back to their headquarters.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dana,” Hadley shook her hand lightly. “I’m so grateful for this opportunity for Cara,”

Nodding her head, Dana reciprocated a smile. “I’m just glad that we were able to help, Hadley. This organization is a wonderful way to help these women, and I hope you’ll understand the secrecy, it’s just…”

“Trust me, I understand completely. And you’ll let me know if you need anything, anything at all, right?”

“You’ll be the first one I call, Hadley.”

*****

Standing in the middle of the small hangar, Hadley looked over at Cara one last time before she boarded the small aircraft to her right. “You’ll be fine, Hadley. You have Richard, and Jack, and Ethan. They’ll take care of you, I promise.” Cara wiped a tear from her cheek as she embraced Hadley tightly. “Don’t worry about me, alright?”

Hadley stepped back and nodded her head slowly, her gaze still resting on Cara. She attempted to memorize her face, her expressions, all the things she loved about her in hopes to remember them for the rest of her life.

“I’ll be back, eventually.”

“I think I’m the one who’s supposed to be encouraging you,” Hadley chuckled, tilting her head towards her shoulder. “We’ll see each other again, I know, but…” She sighed. “It just seems like you were taken from me so quickly and I barely had time to process that, and now, the same thing is happening…”

Cara stepped towards Hadley and gripped her shoulder tightly. “But that will never, ever, happen again…” She shook her head slowly, tears beginning to fall from her eyes. “I’m sorry, about all this,”

“No,” Hadley shook her head sternly, her eyes growing wider with each passing second. “Don’t apologize, please. None of this is your fault. Life has a way of happening when we’re too busy making other plans.”

*****

Max turned towards Richard, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. He continued watching Cara and Hadley intently, checking his watch for the time - always one to be a stickler for being on time. “I’m glad that all this was able to get worked out.”

Richard nodded his head slowly. “Yes, so am I. I know this meant so much to Hadley, and even more to Cara. What you’ve done…” He sighed. “You’ve done an amazing thing here, Max. She’ll never stop thanking you, neither one of them will.”

Max smiled. “It’s my job.” He turned towards Richard again, trying to form the words that he needed to hear himself. “When do you two leave for New York?”

“Next week. We have to finish the closings for our respective houses, as well as finish up the fall term. I think she’s a little more anxious about leaving than she thought she would be.”

Max chuckled. “She has a way of surprising you, that’s for sure.”

“That she does.” Richard’s gaze remained tight on Hadley, wanting to give her the space she needed, but still wanting to be close enough if she needed him.

“Take care of her. Please.” Max’s voice was low and his tone grew soft as he began to realize that she was actually leaving Austin - something he never thought that she would ever do.

Richard nodded his head and took a deep breath. “I know that you care about her in a… certain way,” He cleared his throat nervously and continued. “Which I appreciate. I’m glad someone else is there for her in the ways that she needs, which she’s not always going to tell you what said needs are.” They both chuckled. “I want nothing more than to just make her happy, Max. That’s all I’ve ever, truly, wanted.”

*****

The representative from the organization, Dana, patted Cara on the shoulder and nodded towards the plane. “We need to get going.”

“I guess this is it.” Hadley threw her arms around Cara. “I have so much faith in you, Cara. You’ll do great out there.” She felt the tears well in her eyes and attempted to push them back… _not yet._ “I love you so much… you know that, right? I mean, even more than Richard…” She smiled at her as they pulled apart, tears streaming down both of their cheeks, their hearts tight with anguish, their lungs struggling for an even breath.

Watching Richard from the corner of her eye, Cara held Hadley closer. “You’re going to marry that man, Hadley, and have his babies. You two belong together, don’t let anyone tell you different.” She pulled herself away from her for the last time and smiled. “I love you to the moon and back, Hadley, and absolutely nothing will get in the way of me seeing you again.”

Max and Richard made their way to Hadley slowly, watching as Cara ascended the stairway into the airplane. She stood there for a few minutes, waiting for one last look, one last wave - something to make her remember this moment. It was then she realized… she didn’t want to remember it.

She wanted to remember the good, and how Cara would be getting help, and would be coming back to her. She didn’t want to remember her leaving - she wanted to remember her _coming back_.

*****

“I remember the first time I walked through that door,” Richard pointed towards the front door of Hadley’s apartment with a chuckle. “I knew you thought that I didn’t even see you, but, the truth was, you’re the only thing I saw. I knew that if I laid my eyes on you that night, I’d never be able to tear them off,” He stretched out his legs in front of him as he settled onto the coffee table in the middle of the very empty room.

Hadley smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. “You wore that stupid waistcoat,” She sighed heavily and glanced up at him. “Which only does terrible things to me, even then.” She let her hand fall from his bicep, tracing her fingertips down to his hand, which he took the advantage of clasping it into his.

“I also remember taking you on that dining room table,” He raised an eyebrow excitedly, glancing down at Hadley with a sparkle in his eye. “You looked so fucking gorgeous in that black backless dress, I just knew I couldn't wait any longer.”

She sighed. “I’m going to miss that table.”

“We’ll buy another one to make even more memories,” He winked at her. “We’ll make plenty of new memories, Hadley. I know you’ll miss this place.”

“Indeed,” She looked around the bare walls again with a sigh. “I will.” She glanced down at her watch. “Looks like it’s time to head to the airport.”

“Are you sure? We have a few minutes if you want to stay,”

“No,” She stood from the table and held out her hands. “If we stay here any longer reminiscing on certain memories, we’ll be tragically late.”

He stood in front of her and kissed her lips. “You’re absolutely right.”

Turning in a circle, she scanned the apartment one last time and looked up at him. “So… we’re really doing this, aren't we?”

Richard stood beside her and slid his hands into the front pockets of his trousers. “We are.” He chuckled before continuing. "And I don’t think New York knows what's coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your love and support... It has not only been felt tremendously but I have enjoyed every minute of it. :)


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